Natalie (Short Story) - 3/7/2021 10:08:44 AM
You certainly know how to write about household situations in a realistic way. Particularly siblings communicating with one another and their relationship with their parents. But I think you could've made something of the story based on what Natalie was actually doing rather than some strange entity leaving black slime everywhere. Unless, perhaps, it was merely a metaphor for the evil behavior that Natalie was supposedly engaged in and keeping it from her daughters badly by having Gina clean up her messes. You kept the suspense going…
Everything works well except the evil thing, for me, at least.
Please make sure to capitalize the first word of every sentence… If you are unsure you might use brackets like this: “[Y]eah, like that’ll pay the rent” she moaned.
Ron
Natalie (Short Story) - 3/7/2021 3:54:55 AM
Looks like Gina and Pixie may be headed for that unholy pond the three of them came from.
Do Horror Writers Ever Tremble (Article) - 11/13/2002 10:14:25 AM
yes, horror writers tremble, just like anyone else! i hope to god i never experience a tornado; poor karla has been in *3* of those things, and the last one she lost her roof! *YIPE* love, and (((HUGS))), your friend, karen lynn. :)
Do Horror Writers Ever Tremble (Article) - 11/12/2002 5:32:35 PM
yes, they do...excellent peek into what was a true horror story. thanks for sharing...(((HUGS))) and love, karla. (i've been in 3 of these things, and they give me nightmares...and i don't (usually) write horror!)
The Life Laid Bare (Poetry) - 12/8/2024 9:50:02 AM
Nice metaphor for a life unlived.
Ron
They Don't See Me (Poetry) - 12/7/2024 12:11:58 PM
A poem I'm calling for help that isn't there. What a terrible thing to have happened to any individual. Often it is the innocent bystander that is not affiliated with any cause or so-called friend that comes to the rescue.
Ron
They Don't See Me (Poetry) - 12/3/2024 8:32:12 AM
A stark reality, and you've presented it quite clearly. Unless someone is seriously damaged, being kind and attentive is always possible. In my experiences, empathy is the key. Empathy has no script. It's simply listening and hearing, withholding judgement, connecting emotionally, and making clear to the other the wonderfully healing message of you're not alone. For some, sadly, this is impossible though. Thank you for sharing. Peace.... rlc
2023 - My Sad and Happy Anniversary Year. (Poetry) - 3/20/2023 2:15:25 PM
Memories are ever with us, good or bad. I'm sorry for what you suffered. You are completely right about 50 years.
2023 - My Sad and Happy Anniversary Year. (Poetry) - 2/9/2023 4:16:29 AM
No such thing as co-incidence, its all part of God's master plan in which we know little of. I read your poem with great compassion, I am working on a Valentine short story called "Paper Hearts For Sale" in which the heroine of the story lost a sister, when young, if you wish to read it, you can find it on poetrysoup.com , under the stories section, its a work in progress that will be completed on Valentin's day,
Much love, Vie aka mystic rose
2023 - My Sad and Happy Anniversary Year. (Poetry) - 2/8/2023 3:00:56 PM
A sad reminder of your sweet sister and evil mother that still cling to your mind after all this time. It must be very hard for a woman to have lost the other women in her family. Very lonely I would think, except your mother, who you don't speak fondly of in this poem.
Ron
The Life on Pause (Poetry) - 5/15/2021 7:50:24 AM
We have got this far, and look back to those early, so scary days...
Here in the UK on Monday we can have two households together
inside our homes...and hugs are allowed..!
We don’t know how precious things are until they are withdrawn from us...
It was a time of reflection for many of us, and the world will never be exactly
the same again...
Thanks for your insights...
Best wishes,
Diana...
The Life on Pause (Poetry) - 2/20/2021 11:10:48 AM
No one can predict a virus. They become occasionally into our lives and we have to deal with them one way or another. Thankfully, in the modern era we have actually began to come up with cures, vaccinations that would actually eliminate the possibility of the virus surviving.
Yes, life will pause, but in the future, perhaps less than a year like this one has caused. Much better than letting it run pandemic throughout the world and kill at will until everyone left is immune from having had it.
Ron
of Seven (Poetry) - 7/22/2018 12:05:18 PM
Each part of who we are should be acknowledged and encouraged. Great insight.
of Seven (Poetry) - 7/15/2018 9:29:04 AM
As I read I couldn't help thinking that you have six siblings and are having a hard time getting noticed or even time on the keyboard to enter your own thoughts. Perhaps I am wrong. One thing about being in a large family, it helps create tolerance and understanding of sharing.
Ron
of Seven (Poetry) - 7/14/2018 9:46:21 PM
You are right! I am me, and I can only be me, and no one else.
Sandie
In the Dark Arena (Poetry) - 10/1/2015 4:34:39 PM
Heart wrenching some strings must be cut and even after they are the memories still sting. Well penned.
In the Dark Arena (Poetry) - 9/23/2015 9:07:58 AM
Barbara, your poem is chilling and dismal. Many can relate.
Hoping your situation gets better.
Always,
Deborah
In the Dark Arena (Poetry) - 8/31/2015 2:17:52 PM
Woah.. Even though this is terrifying, i enjoyed your poetry.. Lovely write.. I was hooked to the rollercoaster of emotions..
In the Dark Arena (Poetry) - 8/29/2015 8:43:04 PM
8-29-2015:
There Is Always Way Out,i.e. I Was Beat To
Death Bastard Daddy Twice As Child Then I Turn 18
1 Karate Punch Out Like Light -His Hose Through
His Face As His Head Through Wall- Blood Everywhere
I Thought I Killed Him!
Only Way Gain Respect From 6' 6" 250 Lb Monster Is
Put (It) Him Out His Misery Fight Back-
I Suggest You Do Same( If Not Physical) In Your Mind!
TRASK...
In the Dark Arena (Poetry) - 8/29/2015 5:49:28 PM
A very real and powerful poem. Although scar tissue heals, it is the memory of the emotional or physical event(s). There are many who "know" these experiences, and many who made the decision to stand once they had fallen to their knees.
Thanks,
Chris
In the Dark Arena (Poetry) - 8/28/2015 10:45:54 AM
It's early and dark, when the only place you call home is so dismal.
Ron
In the Dark Arena (Poetry) - 8/28/2015 9:13:20 AM
I so relate with this . . . Mother, a four-letter word.
Garden Gate (Poetry) - 2/3/2009 5:44:43 AM
VERY NICE!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
Do I Love You? (Poetry) - 2/3/2009 5:43:35 AM
VERY BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
Haunted Soul (Poetry) - 2/3/2009 5:40:20 AM
WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
The Shadow (Poetry) - 2/3/2009 5:38:40 AM
BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
Crimson Sunrise - A Sister's Lament (Poetry) - 4/3/2006 9:51:22 PM
A compelling poetic offering. Thank you for sharing it. Love, peace and healing to you, Barbara,
Regis
The Shadow (Poetry) - 4/3/2006 9:14:40 PM
Congratulate your daughter; this is a very good poem. Love and peace to you (both),
Regis
Crimson Sunrise - A Sister's Lament (Poetry) - 4/30/2005 10:05:34 PM
the anguish we experience over the loss of loved ones never dissipates ...
you effectively express your sorrow ... well penned ...
Crimson Sunrise - A Sister's Lament (Poetry) - 4/26/2005 2:23:17 PM
I'm sorry for your losses. How awful! Extremely powerfully penned, this brought a lump to my throat, tears to my eyes, and made me remember my own--thank you
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :(
Crimson Sunrise - A Sister's Lament (Poetry) - 4/25/2005 9:27:37 AM
how tragic...how much older were you...you wrote this extremely well barbara
Do I Love You? (Poetry) - 2/25/2004 11:37:03 AM
Wow. He's some lucky guy. Love and peace to you, Barbara. Regis
Do I Love You? (Poetry) - 2/24/2004 4:56:29 PM
Beautiful, sweet tender write, wonderfully done.
Allen
Do I Love You? (Poetry) - 2/24/2004 2:59:15 AM
Love relayed from the heart for sure, well done indeed, a sincere pleasure to read this one. Missing someone like this is sweet, albeit often a pang from one's heart.
Do I Love You? (Poetry) - 2/23/2004 8:03:05 PM
Very sweet. He is a lucky man.
Gina
