Fast Buck (Short Story) - 3/17/2003 7:56:54 AM
Interesting story, well plotted, but it doesn't flow as well as the author's "The Shadow Man." In this one the dialogue is a little stilted, but it's still far better than the majority of Authorsden short story offerings. Two comments:
One of the best writing tips I ever got was to "get off the stage and quit telling the story to your audience. Let them see it unfold." In a very effective passage, Chet's passenger says "Turn off that gd hillbilly." Effective until the author then goes on to describe the woman's tone. The impact of her words without further description was enough. Second, the author forgot to tell me, uninformed reader, who "Cleveland Amory" is. With a little fine tuning this could be a great story. The author has a terrific ear.
The Shadow Man (Short Story) - 3/17/2003 7:23:46 AM
This was quite good. One of the better stories I've read on Authorsden. Most of the attempts here are amateurish, but not "The Shadow Man." Not only does it tell a good tale--it's well constructed and flows well. First rate characterization set in an interesting locale (travelling carnival). This would have made a great "X-Files" episode.
Fast Buck (Short Story) - 9/9/2001 4:32:13 PM
.............. .0)..... interesting read......... hope you will check out my story list too!
The Shadow Man (Short Story) - 9/9/2001 4:31:19 PM
.............. .0)..... interesting read....shiver! ..... hope you will check out my story list too!
