What's Wrong With Mormons? (Book) - 6/15/2008 8:48:33 AM
My friend, I can tell nothing about the plot, the excerpt is not enough. Yet, about technique. You need an editor, an educated one: however, you MUST be your first editor. You use o lot of tautology and close expressions, which junk the brain of your reader and veer them away from the path of your narration.
I’ve done some the work below.
At the time, I was less than a year out of college. I was teaching commercial art classes in high school in Raleigh, North Carolina. I didn’t look any different from the high school students I was teaching. During first weeks, I can’t tell you how many times I had been stopped by older teachers asking to see my hall pass. When I told them I was a teacher, some looked suspicious, some embarrassed, and still others looked insulted. Part of my duties was to help with after-school extracurricular activities. On one occasion, I was asked to help chaperone and drive a group of students from the theatre classes to Louisburg College to see a popular pantomime, a protégé of the legendary French mime, Marcel Marceau.
My respect.
Showing Gratitude (Article) - 8/5/2008 11:05:25 AM
Our parents really did raise us the best they knew how. They did not have some of the best schooling we did, they had to work hard to raise their families. but they put much love into us as you are doing with your family. This article says much and everyone who reads it should be able to get something useful out of it.
Showing Gratitude (Article) - 7/11/2008 6:27:39 AM
Welcome to the "Den." I enjoyed reading your article and found it very enlightening. I had never quite thought of love and obedience in that light before, but I can see the truth in your equation. Thanks for sharing your insights with us.
Cryssa
Showing Gratitude (Article) - 7/11/2008 4:39:57 AM
Keep showing the love. Thanks for sharing.
Showing Gratitude (Article) - 6/26/2008 10:15:58 AM
Just wanted to say Hi. If only more people would follow Jesus' footsteps, even now the world would be a better place. I felt your sincere words. Happy writing.
