AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Dadfire, iBryon Smith, iJudy Joy Jones, iJill Eisnaugle, iMichael Charles Messineo, iCheri Clifton, iDavid Schwinghammer, iRaven West, iFrank Ryan, iDeborah Frontiera, i

  Home > Action/Thriller > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Lonnie Hicks

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Books
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· 730 Titles
· 1,211 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Jan, 2010

Lonnie Hicks, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




     Humor Relating to Being Poor- Chicago Style

We were so poor that eating out in winter was snowball sandwiches

We were so poor we had possum slices in our lunchpails.

We were so poor that the mice brought us cheese.

We were so poor we ate air sandwiches every night.

We were so poor that we had sliced bean sandwiches, just one bean

We were so poor we had dirt on stick in our lunchpails.

We were so poor we that the coal in our stocking at Christmas was a snack

We were so poor that when a fly flew in our mouth, we swallowed.

We were so poor, we made sauces out of our own spit.

We were so poor in our family that DNA tests didn't work

We were so poor we  would take turns licking the spoons

We were so poor we took turns resting in the oven for heat.

We were so poor that my sisters hid bread in their hair for later.

We were so poor that finger-licking good was real without the chicken

We were so poor that every night we had mayonaise sandwiches

We were so poor that we had rabbit paw for dessert.

We were so poor we evicted praire dogs from their burrows for the extra space.

We were so poor that the wolves brought us sheep

We were so poor that we sucked the leather off baseball gloves.

We were so poor that friends took the shirts off their backs and we made snacks of them

We were so poor that the church mice took up collections for us

We were so poor we ate the apple page in Genesis.

We were so poor we put a little salt on the apple iphone and munched.

We were so poor we caught bees, ate them, and hoped for honey

We were so poor the cows ran away

We were were so poor that the termites in our house were on welfare.

We were so poor that in winter going out to eat was slush balls and snowmen.

1/16/14

We were so poor we had dead bird beck soup every night

We were so poor that supper most nights was singed road kill.

We were so poor we often ate blackened spider webs and pepper.

We were so poor that gum-sucking was dinner

We were so poor that for refreshment on hot day we had sweat in a glass

We were so poor that instead of buffalo wings we had bat wings

We were so poor that we had mice hor d'oeuvres

We were so poor that we could not afford to change our minds.

We were so poor that racooons picketed our house because we never had garbage.

We were so poor that some nights dinner was:

1. Fried Toe-Nail Fricaissee

2. Possium Eyeballs Souffle

3. Rat-Tail Soup

4. Elm Leaf Salad

      
5. Alaskan Moose Tail

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to review or comment on this short story?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


Reviewed by Bob smith 9/28/2019
Those were really good Lonnie.

Reminds me of my former neighbor named Larry who said about watching paint peel boy can not remember how it went. But yours are the first I've ever seen and are very good.

Keep on writing. I don't see how some like you write as much as yo do.


On my Authorsden under Arithmancy bob -Bob G smith are only 38 stores and 5 articles. However relying on content is and has been my goal.
Bob is not a highly educated person and has to spellcheck a great deal of words. Poor grammar and putting together anything is hard but my helper does the rest for him.
Who or what the 'power source' is beyond comprehension. No way does the thought written come from old man Bob.

Keep up your good work Lonnie and as long as I have a lap for this lap top so will I.

Reviewed by Eva Pasco 8/22/2015
A true example of "poor humor" as far as what it is like to be poor through a sense of humor. For sure, one has to be inventive when it comes to putting dinner on the table.
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 1/17/2014
Now that's poor! Like most people say, we were poor when we were very young, but didn't know it. Some of those statements are true, like roadkill that people took home and ate.

The Great Depression resulted in quite a bit of ingenuity. For example, there are many recipes for coffee that don't contain any coffee. My grandparents had coffee and saltine crackers, so they invented a breakfast cereal we called, "coffee and crackers."

When we were kids we often asked for coffee and crackers, especially with our grandparents, and were often allowed to have it. Our father worked at Carnation, so we had lots of cans of condensed milk. To make it, we would break up saltine crackers in a bowl, add sugar, add coffee, and then top it off with evaporated milk. The result was a coffee tasting sweet treat that we really loved. As kids, we didn't know that we were consuming caffeine, sugar, and salt, and not much else.

My father, who grew up in the Depression would often sit down late in the evening and have a big bowl of crackers and milk. I guess that's where the term white "cracker" comes from. ;-)

Ron

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Sunday at 7 by Pamela Ackerson

Jason Donovan has a secret. The Clere's Restaurant's drama has been unfolding in front of his eyes. If he can see it, so can the restaurant's other guests. But there's something the servers aren't telling him, and he will get to the bottom o  
Member BookAds

The House on Cedar Ridge: The Museum Book 3 by Pamela Ackerson

Thalia Jefferies believed the danger at the Cedar Ridge Hills Museum had passed and life could begin with new dreams and second chances.  
Member BookAds

The Underground River by Richard Cederberg

Forced to put the schooner Heimdall into dry-dock for repairs and modifications, the crew chooses to holiday in Southern Utah so they can rendezvous with the Professor, a brilliant confidant from Rabat. What he shares at the summit stuns the crew and  
Member BookAds