The challenge on FanStory was to write a 100 word story. This is what I came up with. Thank you Google Images for the picture.
"Fire," Lizzie screamed at the top of her lungs, "The forest is on fire!" Just then she heard a clap of thunder as another tree lit up. She looked wildly around. 'Where can I go to escape? The fire is between us and the creek.' The baby's shrieks added to her terror. Young Tommy clung frantically to her skirts, it would be hours before her husband returned home. "I hope he is not caught in the blaze.' She smelled the thatch on the roof begin to smolder. Lizzie tore open the trap door to the root cellar, and there they cowered.
I think challenges like this are rather silly. The last time that I had to write to certain specifications was in school. That said, you fulfilled the requirement very well. I've read other very short stories like this that have little or no meaning.
I see nothing wrong with the two sentences that Eva pointed out.
You paint a picture that often happened in pioneer rural America when fire came down without warning on homesteads. Root cellars and bodies of water were the only source of refuge for people caught up in these fires. Two to three thousand people died in the Peshtigo fire in Wisconsin that consumed an entire county on October 8, 1871, the same day of the Great Chicago Fire.
My thought is that you successfully met your challenge. This has the potential to be a synopsis of a well-developed story if you choose to further it. I do note proofing needed for: "She smelled the thatch on the roof begin to smolder."
As well,"I hope he is not caught in the blaze.'
I'm also confused as to why you interspersed two single quote sentences in your text.
However, these are technicalities easily corrected. The heart of your story is "ablaze" ...
Fourth Book in the Southern Swallow Series finds the Academician Li K'ai-men in exile on Hai-nan Island. China has a new invasion threat. A showdown between ingenuity and technology explodes as the Sung Dynasty tries to preserve itself.
