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Jedidiah Bird

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Member Since: Jul, 2007

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These Bars
by Jedidiah Bird
Friday, July 27, 2007

Rated "PG13" by the Author.

       
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     A poem I wrote some while back...
THESE BARS

an open sky, full of stars
I cannot see, behind these bars
the sweet whisper of the wind
I cannot hear, these bars won't bend
a breath of fresh spring air
to stay behind these bars, I cannot bear
clean white snow on a winters day
behind these bars, its cold but gray
a great vast forest of evergreen
behind these bars, I dare not dream
a pure white beach, and water so blue
behind these bars, sanity is failing, if only they knew
a life and a family, it seems so rare
behind these bars, with no one to care
an open road and an open sky
behind these bars, I think I'll die

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Reviewed by Jedidiah Bird 11/24/2013
Honestly, Alex, I couldn't give one fuck what you think. You don't know anything about my character. Not all "prisoners" are criminals, and not all "bars" are physical. As a teacher grading the homework, I'd give you an F, since you have such a poor grasp of the English language.
Reviewed by alex dihes (алик дайхес) 8/9/2008
in the pieace you want me to pity somebody behind bars. i have no compassion for the creatures. they are criminals. your hero is not?! so tell me why. dont offer me to feel sorry for somebody behind bars real or imaginative. the write is without either a character or topic. as a teacher gradin the homework i advice you to re-work it. why? i do see some seeds of a talent in your thinking.

persevere.
good luck


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