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How Do You Want Her To Die?: Heather Lindsay's Story, Part Four by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Rated "PG" by the Author.
The little girl with Epstein's Anomaly continues to hang on and battle for her life.
Things are finally starting to look a little better for Heather Lindsay, but she is still not out of the woods, not by a long shot. Her prognosis is still uncertain, and things still look pretty stormy for her as of now.
This is Hilary Lyne'a, Heather's mother. Heather is now three-and-a-half months old, and she still continues to hang onto life by a precious thread. She "coded" the other day (she stopped breathing, and her heart stopped too; they had to do CPR on her, to try to bring her back), and for a while, I thought that we were going to lose her, but she somehow managed to rally back, and she is still with us, by the Grace of God. She has a heart defect called Epstein's Anomaly which causes blood to back up into her atrium. Because of this, her little heart is enlarged, and this causes severe problems with her breathing. Her pulmonary vascular resistance in her blood has been running high, and unless it drops dramatically, she won't improve much, and there is still a rather high probability of her dying. Many infants with this problem die of Epstein's Anomaly, and not many DO survive. If they DO survive, it's a Miracle.
My daughter has been on a ventilator since a few days after her birth, and I am wondering if she will EVER be able to get off it; I worry about this because I have heard that babies who are on ventilators for a long period of time often develop serious lung problems that can last for months or even YEARS; and I don't know if I can handle a child with lung problems. Heather is such a little fighter, and I am hoping that she will be able to breathe on her own, WITHOUT oxygen or WITHOUT a respirator tube snaking from her mouth!
I recently read a book by a woman in Bedford, Texas, whose own daughter (who is nearly a teenager now) had this condition, and for a while, things looked rather bleak for the little girl, whose name was Heidi Joy. The book was called "Miracle Heidi", and it was really good; but the family had to face an awful lot of odds; and it was ONLY by the Grace of God that their little girl survived; and to my knowledge, the girl is still thriving and is very much alive. The book gave me some hope; but I still worry about weather my OWN child will be as lucky as Heidi was, whether she'll survive and emerge from this hell as well as little Heidi did.
Now, I am NOT a religious person, but I am starting to wonder if I SHOULD rely on God and let Him take over Heather's situation because I am at the end of my rope; and I don't know if I can take much more of this waiting, not knowing, or wondering what will go wrong next with my daughter and if I will be strong enough to be able to handle it. When she had the "Code Blue" the other day, I felt as though a part of ME died along with Heather when she was "down", and I was so scared of losing her. I am STILL scared that I will lose her, and I am afraid to leave the hospital, for fear that something "might happen" while I am not there.
(To be continued.)
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Reviewed by P. Michaels
3/1/2004
Karen, see I found Part 4. Reading four makes Part 5 better. Good story. Will there be a Part 6?
A beautiful compassionate write done with much care and grace. We have so much to ponder in this world of sorrow and suffering,but God is always there to listen.Let Him be our Guide, read His word and let it speak to our spirit...Wonderful work Karen!
excellent question...should this mother rely on God and let Him take over? yes--because God is in control. And God will be there through the good times and bad, He is our rock, our refuge, our strong tower.
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Things are finally starting to look a little better for Heather Lindsay, but she is still not out of the woods, not by a long shot. Her prognosis is still uncertain, and things still look pretty stormy for her as of now.
