Julie Uecker here. I am the one who wrote the other day, about my "secret".
I suffer from anorexia nervosa. Don't ask me why I am starving myself; but I think I am too fat; and each time I see my reflection in the mirror, I feel deprived, disgusted, ashamed. I know I weigh less than 100 pounds now, but I still see myself as fat, and I am determined to lose all this extra weight off me, even if it kills me.
I try to do as my parents or doctors want me to, but I am repulsed by the sight (and even smell) of food; and every time I am around food, I turn nauseaous, and when I eat more than I should (to my choosing), I have to get rid of it SOMEHOW, so I force myself to vomit. It's like a vicious cycle, and I am afraid I can't help myself.
I have been threatened to put on some weight or else I am going to go into the hospital and have a tube shoved up my nose; but I don't WANT to go. I don't want people watching over me every second, and I don't want them treating me like I am some g.d. baby who doesn't know shit! I am tired of hearing my mom gobbling in the next room as she cries over me; I know she is worried, but this is a problem I have to try to solve myself; and if I say I am fat, then I am FAT. Case closed. I think I am as fat as a pig, and I HATE the way my clothes cling to me! They are too tight; and I HATE the way my body looks and feels! I HAVE to lose this weight before summer comes; there is NO WAY I am going to be seen on a BEACH with my stomach or my fat pooching out for everyone to see (or gawk at)!
So I must return to my regimen, and I HOPE I will lose at least five pounds BEFORE next month! Something has GOT to be done about this excess weight! I am TOO FAT!!
(To be continued!)
~Written on Tuesday, March 2, 2004, at 6:30 in the evening, C.S.T.
Karen:
Such a horrible disease, I am glad you joined me in getting the message out as to what Anorexia Nervosa can do to a person...
God Bless
~Michelle~
Hugz
Reviewed by Simon Thurlow
3/2/2004
Now I have to read back and find Part One. Don't know how I missed it but missed it I did. Excellent write Karen. Just need part one to get the background now LOL
a heartbreaking write--what really strikes me is the sentance, "...i still see myself as fat, and i am determined to lose all this extra weight off me, even if it kills me. ..."
it just might...it just might. so sad what society has done...
A page-turning novel about a relationship between best friends that is interrupted because of betrayal , deceit, sexual promiscuity and pregnancy happens!
Spoken Word
This CD will touch the deepest inner part of your humanness and spirit, you will never be the same after listening to the depths of struggle, the reality of life, the touching voice of truth. It will shock you, move you to tears. It w
Spoken Word
This CD will touch the deepest inner part of your humanness and spirit, you will never be the same after listening to the depths of struggle, the reality of life, the touching voice of truth. It will shock you, move you to tears. It w
Julie Uecker here. I am the one who wrote the other day, about my "secret".
