Johnny is worried that his friend in California has abandoned him, as many kids have done to him before in the past. So he writes her a letter, demanding answers.
Wednesday, the 5th of January, 2005~
Dear Rebekkah~
I hope you aren't mad at me. It's been a while since I last heard from you, and I am wondering if you want to even bother with me. If I have said or done anything to make you mad, I am sorry! Please accept my apologies; but I feel I have done nothing wrong to where you don't even want to write to me anymore!
Is it because I am in a wheelchair? It seems that this is why kids don't want to bother with me, and it has really gotten me depressed. I try to be a good friend to kids, but they see my stupid chair, and they see my stupid disability, and I HATE it! I really do! I am much more than my disability, and I wish people would learn that and get it through their stupid heads!
I have had to live with this stupid MD for practically my whole life, and I also have had to learn to live with not being able to see or hear as well as other kids; and you know I have had to struggle in school. I have had trouble learning until just this past year, and I HATE having to bust my butt when other kids seem to breeze through their lessons! Do you think I enjoy being this way? Well, just in case you haven't noticed, I DON'T, and I wish all this stupid disability crap would just GO AWAY!! It's no fun being like this!
Yeah, I am having a pity party. I am so mad right now I can't hardly see for all the tears that are falling from my eyes, and I am wondering if you even want to bother with me. I know I may need a lot of help, but I am a KID, and I am a kid who has FEELINGS! I don't like having to struggle day in and day out, and it seems all I have done lately is CRY!
It doesn't help that my stupid sister, Ronee', continues to get the glory while I get SQUAT! It's like they gloat all over her about her singing, and even though I am in the same room with her, all I get is the shaft, and it's like I am INVISIBLE because they don't even see me sitting there half the time! It really makes me MAD!! I am happy for her, but at the same time, I am JEALOUS! Yeah, I know jealousy is a sin, but right now I can't help it, and I wish people'd pay attention to ME instead of just my stupid disabilities or my darn old wheelchair!! When is it MY turn to be HAPPY?? Is that asking too much?? I am MUCH more than my stupid chair or my stupid disease, and right now I am just plain FED UP!! I HATE my life!!
If you don't want to write to me, I can understand, but it's been a while, and I was wondering if you were mad at me. Which was why I wrote this to you. I am sorry for being such a bummed out loser, but that is exactly what I am, and I HATE it!!
Actually I pretty much wrote like this when I first started my journal. Called diary of an illness in which I entitled it Walking Through The Valley Of The Shadow Of Death. I look back over it and draw from it and yes the journal was very healing.
this is a hard letter to answer. is johnny pitying himself, because ronee' seems to be the center of attention? i can see he is jealous of her, by his references to her as the "monster" and his anger towards her. is he overburdening everyone around him with his disability? they can see that he is (evidenced from his chair), but if that's all he talks about...like i said, a tricky one to call.
emotionally charged, excellent write, with thought provoking implications.
Rovella is a beautiful woman with a cold heart whom blames herself for an unfortunate old family secret that is literally ruining her life. This secret impedes a gorgeous woman from having happiness in her childhood, and throughout her life. Dark sec
A page-turning novel about a relationship between best friends that is interrupted because of betrayal , deceit, sexual promiscuity and pregnancy happens!
Wednesday, the 5th of January, 2005~
