Thursday, May 14, 2009, Nashville, Tennessee, 9:11 a.m., D.S.T.~

Dear Journal~

I just realized something:  I haven't written in here, my journal, since February 18, 2009!   It's now three months later, May 14, 2009 (well, almost)!  I am a horrible journal-keeper; please do forgive me!  I swear I must have sometimer's disease!  LOLOLOL

This is Rachel, Ken's wife.  Rachel Smith.  I'm the one who was struck by lightning several years back; it's a miracle I even survived the strike.  I recovered; however, it's left me with lasting effects, and because of it, I can't work:  I now draw disability every month.

Ken, meanwhile, works oodles of hours as one of Nashville's finest paramedics/EMTs.  I hardly see him excepting on weekends, and then it's if they don't call him in, which they often do.  Unfortunately, being a paramedic doesn't guarantee time off, even on weekends or holidays. 

I'm not complaining, mind you, but dang, I'd love to see him more than I do!  I sometimes feel like I'm the only one going through this!  I only have the baby, computer, and phone to keep me company!

I am still having very little in the way of pain.  I am just about healed from my surgery of late last year.  It feels wonderful not to be in the blinding pain I'd been in since getting hit by lightning; I am able to function as any normal (disabled) woman would.  I pay the bills, I take care of my son and husband, and try to keep the house in order.  It's not easy at times, but I do manage, thanks to the Good Lord.  :)

That's another thing that keeps me strong:  my faith.  If I didn't have my faith in God, I don't know what I'd do!  He is my everything, and one of the happiest times I can spend the day is when I'm reading my Bible or praying.  It's just me and the Lord (until the phone rings, or when Rheese cries, anyway!).

Rheese is sooo cute:  he's the spittin' image of Kendall.  Same doe-brown eyes, cleft in the chin, same nappy, kinky black hair.  They are most definitely father and son; there's no denying that!

People still point fingers when they see that I'm married to a man who happens to be black.  So what.  I don't care; he could be green for all I care, and I'd still be madly in love with him!  He treats me with dignity and respect, and he treats me the way a woman should e treated!  As long as he doesn't abuse me or cheat on me behind my back, then that's all I care about!  ('Cause if he does, I'll kill him!  Not really, but I will be mad!!)

They also stare at my son because he's mixed.  Part African-American, part white.  He looks more African-American than white, but I think he's beautiful!  I wish people would stop having this hang-up about a person's background and get to know the real person inside!  The color of a person's skin (or their ethnic background) should NOT matter!!!!

I get stared at not only because of the race factor, but also because I'm disabled.  That bugs me just as much.  They see the crutches/braces/chair instead of me, and it really annoys the fool outta me!  At times I get so frustrated it's all I can do to keep from screaming!!!!

Last Sunday was Mother's Day.  Rheese "made" me a card (with daddy's help) and both he and daddy Ken gave me a bouquet of flowers.  Of course, I cried.  They also made me breakfast in bed, and Ken wouldn't let me lift a finger.  It was heavenly!

They ought to do that every day!  :P

I love getting spoiled like that!  :)

Well, it looks like it is going to rain again, so I'd best go; it's clouding up yet again.  Sighh.  I am so sick of the rain; I'd give anything to see the sun shining again!  We've had too much rain lately, and I'm more than tired of it!!  Will write in here again soon; hopefully I won't wait three months to do so!  Take care, and may God bless you always!

~Love, your friend, Rachel Dian.  :)