May 21, 2009, Barrow, Alaska, 1:36 p.m., Alaska Time~

Dear Journal~

Mattaq Q. Eegeesiak here.  Sorry if I haven't written since February of this year; just haven't had the time (or energy) to do so, plus I just haven't felt like it.  Writing is still a struggle for me.

I hope you understand.

I am not doing much better since I last wrote.  As you know, back in the fall of last year (2008), I lost my dear sister, Sikik Grace, to multiple sclerosis; she was not even forty five when she passed on to the realms of the sky.

She now dances amongst the aurora borealis, along with Mother, Father, and all of our loved ones who have passed on before her.  She is, I assume, much happier, freer than she was here on Earth.

I still miss Sikik so much.  At times it is all I can do to keep from wanting to join her; I sometimes feel that life isn't worth living without my sister.  Sikik and myself, we had a very close, loving relationship.  When she became sick, I especially felt I had to be responsible for her, to protect her.  I guess I didn't do enough because despite my best efforts, she worsened and died.

Meanwhile, I continue to work, try to exist as best as I can.  I am not doing very well financially:  the bills are eating me up; I will be paying on Sikik's medical bills for years to come.  I have had to sell my snowmobile, even my truck, some of my possessions, to try to come up with the extra cash in order to pay off some of her bills.  It has been bad for me, very bad.

I'm afraid my brothers and sisters aren't doing much better.  We live in a small community in northernmost Alaska; there are not very many opportunities here for advancement:  all the good jobs are in Fairbanks or even Anchorage, which is too far for us.  So we are stuck here, just barely existing.

I just thank God we are within close proximity of one another; still, when the bill collectors come calling or threaten to take our property, all we can do is sit back and worry (or even fight back, which is what I have been doing).

Just keep us, the Eegeesiak family, in your prayers; we could really use a miracle of some kind here!  We would greatly appreciate it!

Thanking you in advance~

~As always, your friend in Barrow, Alaska, Mattaq Q. Eegeesiak.  :(