I often lie here in my warm, soft bed, among my two sisters (who are snoring softly), and I lie awake as my mind races with thoughts that I have no idea of where they come from: they just pop into my head.
I often think about things that I have no sense in worrying about; but sometimes I can't help myself. I also realize that worrying is a part of teenage angst, and it is a normal part of a teenager's life. But these are things that worry ME, and now I am going to get up out of my bed and go to my computer and put these thoughts down and why I worry like I do. So, here goes nothing...
^THINGS I HAPPEN TO WORRY ABOUT^
1.) MONEY--
I worry about money because my parents don't really have a lot of it; what money they DO make goes towards bills (especially *MEDICAL BILLS*; those about EAT US ALIVE!!!!), and also towards necessities like food, clothing, diapers (WHICH ARE DOWNRIGHT EXPENSIVE!!), and shoes (something else that COSTS TOO MUCH!!). They really don't have a lot of extra money, adn they have to often realize on other people when money gets short, just so they can have a little extra for themselves.
2.) HEALTH--
I worry about this because mommy and daddy aren't that healthy; both have degenerative arthritis and sciatic nerve pain, and both have trouble walking without help (daddy uses forearm crutches, and mommy uses a cane), plus daddy has high blood pressure, asthma, and degenerative disc disease in his back. I also worry about the health of some of my brothers and sisters (Johnny, Ronee', Jodie, Todd, Debby, Kwame', Roberto, etc.) because their health, as a rule, is LOUSY, and they have oftentimes wound up in the hospital in a critical condition when they developed sudden respiratory, cardiac, or some other, type of emergency situation; and I don't know if they are going to survive the crisis at hand. I also worry because what if mommy or daddy happened to die suddenly? What would happen to a person like Jodie or Todd, who both require a lot of care? Would they be put back into the institution for the handicapped?? Or would they be abandoned by their remaining family members and die as a result of neglect? What would happen to someone like Roberto, who is mentally handicapped AND physically handicapped? Would he be placed into an institution as well, or would he go to a home for the retarded? Would he be able to cope with the death of his parents (or even UNDERSTAND about what had happened to them)?
3.) WAR AND FURTHER TERRORIST ACTS--
I often wonder if we are in line for more in the way of terrorist acts, like what happened in Washington D.C., Pennsylvania, and New York City, where thousands of innocent people died when militant extremist Muslim terrorists purposely attacked our Great Nation last year on September 11, 2001. It was the worst act of terrorism ever recorded; and it was the first time America had been attacked since the Bombing of Pearl Harbor way back in the 1940s, during the Second World War. I wonder if the terrorists are plotting another attack, and where it will happen, and I wonder how they will strike: by bomb, by nerve gas, by anthrax, or some other insidious act? Ever since September 11 I haven't slept well at all, and I have done an awful lot of crying (not to mention, writing and drawing). I wonder if the terrorist leaders will ever be found or caught, and I wonder what the victims' familis must be thinking right now....Also, I wonder what people going to New York City for the first time must be thinking when they see the skyline forever changed by such an unspeakable act of evil and hatred....
4.) MY BROTHER, JOHNNY--
As you know by now, my little 9-year-old brother, Johnathon ("Johnny" to his family and friends), is dying. He was diagnosed with Duchenne's muscular dystrophy when he was a baby, and ever since he has gotten progressively and steadily worse. He is weaker now than he ever has been, and he has since developed new health concerns (like with his breathing). I wonder if he ever gets scared to know that he is dying, and what he must be thinking about it. I wonder how we, his family, will be able to handle it....I also wonder about whether Johnny will be able to continue to perform as his disease worsens and how he will feel when he will no longer be able to do so; and how he will feel when he will have to be confined to a hospital bed and hooked up to a nose hose or a breathing machine, unable to eat or breathe or move on his own. I wonder what that will be like for him, and how that will affect him emotionally....
5.) MY SISTER, RONEE'--
I worry about Ronee' also because she is so close to her brother, and she and Johnny are inseperable. I wonder how her brother's impending death will affect her emotionally and physically when it occurs, and I wonder about how she will be in ten years, in regards to her juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. Will she be still able to walk, or will she strictly use a wheelchair, hardly able to move without being in such excruciating pain? How will her breathing be? Will her asthma come back with a vengeance, or will it disappear entirely, never to plague her again? I wonder if she will be able to achieve her dream of becoming a country star or whether she will make it to the Grand Ole Opry as a member, and how well she will be able to handle sudden fame and success. Will she still continue to be the loveable kid, or will she become an uncontrollable brat?
6.) THE PEOPLE OF AFRICA--
I worry about them because the majority of Africa's people are incredibly impoverished, and there seems to be absolutely no hope for them. Thousands are dying because of war, civil unrest, famine, and AIDS, which is running rampant in that part of the world. WHY isn't their governments doing SQUAT to relieve these people's sufferings?? WHY isn't the REST OF THE WORLD DOING ANYTHING TO HELP AFRICA AND HER PEOPLE????
7.) M'BUTI SORMIENTO--
I worry about M'buti Sormiento (she is a good adult friend of mine) because she has been through so much hell in her life, and at age 25 1/2 she's had to experience more in the way of heartache and tragedy than anyone has a right to experience in their entire life--and all of this has happened since she was born. She was raised poor and in true Maasai fashion in East Africa, and she had to help her family while her brothers went to school (she later went to school herself). She also had to deal with the fact of being forced into having a circumcision at age 11 and was forced to marry a man twice her age; and was treated badly by him; and became a widow at age 13. She then went to America at age 21, and a month later she was horribly raped and then burned. She spent a year in the hospital, where she recovered from her injuries and seemed to be getting back on her feet when she took sick with a severe and deadly bacterial infection that nearly cost her her life. When released from the hospital she was left in incredible pain that affected every facet of her life. She was unable to eat, sleep, or do ANYTHING. She lost an incredible amount of weight and ended up having lifesaving surgery to save her life; and even today, nearly 2 1/2 years later, she is still faced with incredible problems and challenges. Add to this? PREGNANCY. Yup. M'buti is now pregnant (with TWINS!)(Will she be able to carry these two babies as she did Jubaki, her firstborn son?). M'buti has a lot of emotional problems in regards to her life, and she has been going through mental counseling to help her deal with her past life experiences. She has also had to deal with the deaths of her parents and not getting to go to the funeral because her parents died while she was in the hospital recovering from her burns. (By the way, her parents were murdered.)
8.) HOW PEOPLE *REALLY* SEE ME--
I worry about this because as you know I am teased by certain kids at my school, and they make me feel cruddy. I am teased because I like country and Cajun music instead of rock or rap music, and I am not into things like fashions, boys, or shopping. I am more of a tomboy and am more happy playing sports with the guys!! I don't see ANYTHING WRONG with playing sports; I get a lot of exercise, and exercise is good for ANYONE!!!!! (Too many people DON'T get the proper exercise, and a lot of people nowadays are *FAT!!*) In fact, according to experts, America is one of the FATTEST PLACES ON THE PLANET!!!!! I am also teased because of my disabled brothers and sisters and also about being adopted.
Shifty Characters, invites early readers into the world of change from a lyrical, language arts point of view. These shifty characters have the ability to reposition and re-invent themselves without adding or omitting a single letter. They go about t
