
My name is Nahjaad. I cannot reveal my whole name, or I will be severely punished, possibly even killed, for revealing too much. I am eight years old. I live in the country of Pakistan.
I am also married. I was forced to marry by my father; he wants more grandsons, so he had me marry a much older man so I can make babies. I think that is crazy; I am only a child; my body is not designed for that purpose! If I became pregnant with child there'd be a chance that it could kill me! I'm only a little girl; I deserve much better than this life!
My husband is fifty years old. He is always hitting me. He is very disappointed in me; nothing that I do can ever be good enough to please him. Every time I hear his gruff, awful laughter or hear his heavy footsteps, I cringe because I know I will be beaten if I don't have his dinner on time or don't clean the house to meet his expectations.
My husband tries to have sex with me, but I find it very disgusting. I don't want to even think of engaging in that; if I could, I'd kill him myself if I could find something to hit him with! Every night we fight, and I am often the one who is in tears; my husband thinks it is very funny to force his ugly, nasty body on me.
Up until I married Ali*, I was a happy, carefree child. I played with my friends, went to school, went to mosque for prayer five times a day. Now I cannot leave the house; if I do, I have to be totally covered, with just my eyes showing, or I will be mocked or worse. My life is full of fear and violence; I am scared for my future, and I am scared of Ali most of all.
I have to go. Soon my husband will be home; I must get the place swept and food on the table. If I don't have anything done, a terrible beating may be in store for me. I will write in here another day in secret; I can only do this when nobody is home. Goodbye; this is Nahjaad saying so long for now!
~Nahjaad, aged eight.
*to be continued.*
*Name changed.