I am glad to see my family again, yet I don't know if it's a good thing.  We have really never been close, and the only reason we're together again is because our mother is dying, and we're trying to get affairs in order before she dies.

I have a brother whom I haven't seen in nearly 20 years.  Been far too long, I know, but Joe was a known alcoholic and womanizer.  He hasn't changed all that much.  I am very disappointed in him.

I also have a sister, Margaret, who is on her fifth marriage.  The four previous ones just didn't work out; what's to say this one will?  She has a really bad reputation when it comes to picking out a husband: her four previous husbands have all been losers.

Then there's the baby, Yvonne, who has always been the family pet (but not mine).  I guess it's because she's always been slow: Mother and Daddy have always let her get away with everything; she now lives with my cousin Deidre and her family.  (Vonnie is on crutches and is mentally disabled because of cerebral palsy; she was born with it.)

At the age of 24, Yvonne can't take care of herself or live on her own: she's just too immature, too trusting.  I worry that something bad will happen to her if she ever gets out on her own.  Ain't gonna happen; this is why she lives with Deidre.

I would have taken Yvonne in myself, but I have my own life:  I'm happily married with a loving husband and great kids.  I also work for a living; I don't have the time to watch my handicapped baby sister!

My immediate family has met my family before, and they feel the same way about them.  The only member of my family who is halfway decent is Yvonne.  My mother wasn't bad either, but then she got Lou Gehrig's disease, and now she's to the point to where her body can't go on much longer.  She is only able to move her eyelids; she is trapped in a body that's long betrayed her, and she's been having more trouble with her breathing, even with being on a respirator.   She's prone to choking spells that have put her into the hospital time and time again; the doctors say she doesn't have much time left.

It's scary to see Mother in the condition she is in currently.  We remember the laughing, vibrant woman she once was; now she's a shell of her former self, and it's breaking all of our hearts (or at least mine and Yvonne's).  I wonder if Joe or Margaret really care for Mother: they certainly don't act it, and it really behooves me.  All they care about is themselves.

It is said that people are blessed with family.  I feel that my blessings are worthless because I wouldn't wish my family on anybody (excepting for Yvonne, of course; she's really not any trouble, excepting for her disabilities).  I am ashamed about Joe because he refuses to deny that he has a known drinking problem, and Margaret deserves better choice in men.  If she isn't happy with her lot in life, then why does she even bother looking for another mate??  If I were her, I'd stay single!

I am mad at Mother because she got sick, and now she can't do anything but lie there in bed and let others take care of her.  I feel that she's betrayed us, her children, and I don't know what's going to happen to us when she does pass away.  If this means fighting over her things or the funeral arrangements, then I don't want any part of it!!

To be continued.