Name is Dan Gaige.  I hope you don't mind sharing my story.

I was married for five years to what I thought was the most wonderful woman on the planet; then we had our son, Amos Jerrold (called "A.J." for short) three years ago, and Amelia left me, just like that.  No warning whatsoever.

Our son was born with special needs.  He was born with mylomeningocele, or spina bifida (the severe kind) and had his first surgery at only a few days old.  He has since had over 20 more and still faces more in the future.  His lower half is completely paralyzed: he has no bowel or bladder control and has to be "cathed" every two hours and wear diapers.  It is unknown at this time whether A.J. will ever walk on his own, but hopefully down the road that can be a goal that I can work on.

Anyway, Amelia has battled with depression and she couldn't cope with the fact that our youngest child was born with a significant disability, so she left us.  Now I am raising him on my own and while it was extremely difficult at first, I think I have gotten pretty good at handling what he needs.

We have another child, another son named Anthony Cade; he is five and a half, nearly six (Anthony will be six in April).  I am happy to say he is perfectly healthy.  Sometimes he cries because he misses his mommy, but I try to give him (and A.J.) as much love as humanly possible and try to support him (and A.J.) when he (they) is (are) feeling down.  It isn't easy, but we DO manage.

Whenever A.J. is in the hospital for another surgery, my dear mother, Ginger, comes to take care of Anthony.  She has been a godsend in all of the drama that Amelia put me through, the devorce itself, and especially A.J.'s hospitalizations/surgeries.

If I didn't have Ginger in my life, or my faith, I probably would have done something drastic long ago.  I don't know why all of this had to happen, but now that it is finally behind me, I am moving forward and not looking back.  I have decided to put it all behind me and forgive Amelia for the damage that she's caused me and the obys.  It isn't easy, but as a Christian, I have to do this.

It helps going to church each and every Sunday.  It helps having God in my life.  It helps  having my mom and my buddies, as well as the Special Needs Parents Support Group (SNPSG) that I belong to (we meet every week, on Friday, at Golden Corral, to "talk shop" and see what is going on in our lives and to support one another when things aren't going well).  

I just wish that Amelia could have accepted A.J. and helped me out a little; it would have made things so much easier for all of us.  All I can do is pray that she is happy and that she has a good life and/or has found someone new.

~Dan.