A young woman writes what she would do in her life if she were not disabled.
If I were able to walk well, I wouldn't have to depend on sticks or my walker, and I wouldn't have to use a wheelchair. I would, if I could, get a job again and try to make something out of my life.
I would, if I could, go to school again and further my writing skills. I majored in Journalism now, but other than a brief period working at a local newspaper, I have been unemployed due to my health and other problems that have cropped up unexpectedly.
I would, if I could, try to see if anything could be done to find the killers who killed my parents several years ago. The case is still unsolved, and as far as I know, the killers are still on the loose, and they have no clue whatsoever as to who did the crime. All they know is that the ones who did the killings were teenagers, and there was more than one who was involved.
I would, if I could, be able to take better care of the children and provide more for them than I am able to do at the present. I am still not all that strong (or well) yet, and I am still prone to periods where my blood pressure, which is already low enough as it is, bottoms out, and then, as a result, I pass out. I am afraid that I will hurt one or all of the children if I had passed out while I was holding one or two of them (and trying to keep an eye on a third).
I would, if I could, take English classes to better my English skills. My English isn't still that good, and I still have trouble trying to think of certain words in English instead of in Swahili or Maa.
I would, if I could, be a better wife to my husband and do more things, but I am oftentimes so tired and so achy, I don't know whether I am coming or going; and I don't like the way I look, so I would just assume and stay home and feel sorry for myself. (Don't tell me that I could get help for my depression or be happier; try living in my shoes for once, and see just how easy it is! I often feel terrible, and I don't like the way people keep staring at me like I have Ebola or AIDS or something! Even though I have gained all my lost weight back, and I am getting better than I was, I still see myself as the sickly, scrawny person that lost all that weight when I was so sick, and I don't see myself as beautiful at all!)
I would, if I could, try to make amends with Miss Louisiana for all the times I gave her nothing but trouble and grief. I know she was only trying to help, but I am afraid that I wasn't all that nice to her, and she didn't deserve all my nastiness when all she was doing was trying to take care of me and make me feel a little better when I was so sick! She says she has forgiven me, but I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for being so nasty-ugly to her! I think of all the nasty, bad things I have told her, and it causes my cheeks to burn with shame and my eyes to fill with tears. No friend of mine should ever be subjected to that kind of abuse..EVER!
I would, if I could, try to convince my brothers, Keserian and Naiser, to come to live near me here in America, seeing Africa is so full of strife, disease, and unrest. I would feel so much safer knowing that they were close by me instead of being thousands of miles away from me!
I would, if I could, run free like the animals back home on the African savannah and NOT worry about ANYTHING! I would hold my head up high and proud, and I would go faster than a cheetah!
I would, if I could, try to teach others how to get along and stop hating one another, and I would fight for equality for minorities such as myself and my husband. I would also support programs that help the handicapped or the poor or the elderly, and do something about the ever-rising costs of medical care here in America; and see to it that the poor or uninsured have easy access to insurance or adequate healthcare.
ohhhhhhhhh, karen...this is beautiful *tears* brought tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat...well written, inspirational story! great job, karen! *i'll always support you* ((((((HUGS))))) and love, karla. :)
Spoken Word
This CD will touch the deepest inner part of your humanness and spirit, you will never be the same after listening to the depths of struggle, the reality of life, the touching voice of truth. It will shock you, move you to tears. It w
