Jane felt so feeble that she had to use the wall of the house just not to fall on the ground. Dizziness grew stronger and stronger until she felt that the wall is giving away and Jane slowly floated down.

She was out just for a moment, but coming back she couldn't understand where was she. Snow everywhere. Beautiful red-orange-yellow last sun rays playing a light show on trees and on the snow covered mud, happy people around. Is she there? Is she back as if nothing happened? Is it really St. Moritz?

She looked around her with eyes that saw totally different pictures of weekend in the ski club.

She saw Karl bend toward her and ask something. Jane concentrated: "Are you hurt, my Lady?". Jane felt that her left leg ached throwing angry balls of hurt fury into nerve system, but this special address of "my Lady" made her laugh. She felt tears growing and going down from eyes through cheeks and entering her open mouth. She couldn't stop her convulsive laugh. So much couldn't that Karl began to think that she laughs at him.

When he straightened to go away, she cried: "Yes I am hurt. Please help me." Karl looked once more at her, than on her leg and raised her in his hands effortlessly.

"Wow. He took me like a Prince. Some white horse coming our way and he'll be the Prince Charming. And how strong is he! Takes me up like a feather. Well, maybe not like a feather, but than, like a pair of ski" she thought and smiled.  She began to feel warmness spreading through her body and suspected that the guilty for it is keeping her in his hands.

All the way to the club's doctor, she looked at his face. But he looked only straight forward, as if not knowing that he carries somebody in his hands. She felt that the annoyance of his not paying attention to her enters like icy pins into her heart, at the same time she felt her mind boiling in fury. "How dare he? Who is this slob? I hate him."

"What did you say"

(Oops! Was it aloud?) "What did you hear?"

"That you hate him. Whom you hate?"

"Hmm. Well… Why don't you look at me all the time we are going?"

"Because if I'll look at you I'll be busy by doing it and will forget how to go."

"You mean.."

"Yes."

.

Henry was so tiny. Just above 5 pounds. Jane lay on the bed and looked aside at her son. He cried asking to be fed, but she hadn't strength to take him into her lap. Something happened to her during the birth. Something bad. That bad, when doctors and nurses suddenly begin to speak with you slowly and rather silently, hiding their eyes in any direction but yours.

Jane cried for half a day, after they explained her what was wrong with her and how long she had. But then a plan began to take form in her head.

She looked at Henry once more and called the nurse to take the baby into his bed and then fill her with drugs. Those drugs that keep her strong last two days.

Jane knew that she has to do something for Henry. She couldn't leave it for anybody else. Karl could agree to persuade his fiancee to take Henry to them. But even a thought about speaking with him, made her shiver with anger. She couldn't bring herself to ask him anything after they broke last summer because she found him cheating. She wasn't sure that he will love Henry.

No, she has to do it herself - to find another home for Henry. She even knew where. That girl that she met in the queue to gynecologist two months back. She told Jane that she and her husband just learned that they cannot have their children and now begin to think about adopting. Jane just has to find the address and everything will be fine. She can do it in the Gynecologist's office. She'll know how to do it. She was sure in it.

Jane felt drugs begin to take effect. She raised and took her cloths from the wardrobe. Then silently took out Henry, put into another blanket, kissed and went out.

.

After some time she stood before the right house. The girl lived in the first floor and Jane could see light through half closed shutters. She went to the door to the flat and listened. Music and sounds of talk, laugh and singing. "What cheerful family. Henry, it will be your family now. I am sure they will love you." She kissed him and raised her hand to knock on the door. But couldn't finish the motion. Tried once more and couldn't knock. She felt that she cannot meet Henry new parents. She cannot see them, cannot hear them asking her why she leaves her son.

Writing a note took just a few moments, and putting it into the blanket, hugging and kissing tens times Henry took just some more moments and she understood that now or never. Jane put Henry on the floor, knocked loudly on the door and ran outside.

She didn't stop but ran across the road not looking to sides, not seeing a large lorry touching her with force and throwing her far away. She landed on the ground with unmoving heart and with smile on her lips. Smile of accomplishment.

.

The girl in the flat opened the door and saw a parcel wrapped in blanket. She couldn't explain how, but she knew. She called her husband and took the parcel into her lap. Her husband took her into the flat, unwrapped the blanket and read the note that slipped from it.

Joan, I think that this child is for us. It's a present. A Christmas present for us.

.

.

"Santa, I don't understand something."

"Yes?"

"Why had you to sent that heavy lorry just on that street? It killed Jane."

"Did you read her letter to me for the last present she wanted from me?"

"Yes. She wanted to find home for her son."

"Then you didn't read what was writen on the back side of it?"

"No."

"She asked me to help her in another matter too. She suffered so much and dragging her life of hell for another two or three days was more than she could suffer. She asked to give her a quick and easy death. She called it 'and a little but very important present for me please dear Santa.' Today was the first time that I gave two presents to one person: the saddest and the happiest presents at the same time."

Santa's voice trembled, he wiped tears, cleansed loudly his nose and continued to work on the list of the gifts. Many more people waited for him.