-So, this is the way Muse works!

-Yes. We write the story and you rewrite.

-But then, am I a writer?

-Yes, of course. You write the story.

-I REWRITE!

-Well, there is no such word as rewriter, so you are writer.

-Wait, do you mean each writer is, as the matter of fact, just rewriter?

-Well, more or less.

-Wait, wait, wait. Are you laughing at me?

-No! I never laugh.

-Now you lost me totally. Can you return back to the basics of Musehood?

-Yes. Muses were born two years before humans.

-Why two days?

-It's the time it took us to think out the humanity.

-So, it's was your idea?

-Yes.

-Both for man and for woman?

-Yes.

-Ok. Now I know that Muses mistake too. But continue.

-Well, after humanity began to grow up, we would come with different ideas and drill them in people's heads.

-Ideas?

-Yes, you know, like using a club instead of a stone or instead of going to the lake, bring water in pipes and make shower at home.

-What do you mean shower at home? Were not those two things: club and shower, thousands years away?

-Aw, you mean the second time we gave the idea of shower.

-The second time?

-Of course, how else did you think the shower was invented?

-Well, yes, but the first time was together with the club idea? What happened that the idea died?

-Men.

-What!

-Men. I mean, men happened to the shower. They didn't like that women got this idea. They didn't like women to have any ideas. And they said that you have a funny smell after the shower, so they broke it and bit the idea out from women.

-Hm. Hm. Wait! Where from they got the idea to bit women?

-Not from us. I swear.

-So, what was next?

-Next we gave idea to use olives.

-Olives?

-Yes, olives.

-What can you do with olives?

-That's exactly what we did - we showed how much you can do with it. But the most important, we showed that you can burn olive oil and lighten your home.

-And that's good for what?

-You are a man who lives all his life with electricity (the idea of which, we thought up and gave to people). What happens whenever there is no juice in the evening?

-I light candles.

-And if you wouldn't have candles, like they not been invented yet?

-Oh! You use olive oil. I see. How clever. But what should people do with light without TV or newspapers or even books?

-That's it. First you give them the light, then they have more time not to go to sleep and they begin to look to fill the time with content. They begin with talking and very quickly they come with idea of storytelling.

-And so they write books?

-Alas, no. Not that quickly. First you have to insert an idea of letters into their stronghold.

-What stronghold?

-I mean, their dumb heads.

-Ah.

-Then you have to bring them the idea of writing. And only after that, you work with them on reading.

-I see. First they learn to write, then to read. Why?

-Writing is easy. You write anything you wish. The problem with reading, though, is to understand what the writer meant.

-You lost me very far back there. Until you'll find me anew, I wanted to ask you something, that is nagging in my head: you said that you never laugh. But how then people write funny stories?

-I don't know.

-What! You said people rewrite whatever you write, but now you tell me that you don't know how people write humor?

-You see, I am the last Muse in the world. But there were more Muses before my time. They knew much more. They taught people everything they knew. They taught how to write funny stories too.

-What happened to all those Muses?

-Internet.

-Do you mean that Internet happened to Muses?

-Yes. Exactly.

-Please explain.

-You see, with Internet, more and more people began to write. It put a lot of strength on Muses. Just think, instead of serving 25 million writers, artists, musicians, scientists, the demand went trough the ceiling, and left Milliards far back. Today, everybody "knows" how to write. So Muses, died from exhaustion one after another.

-Wait. Then how people write?

-There are many pseudomuses, called guru of writing, who teach what to do.

-What to do?

-Yes - you take an old text, change it a bit and sell as yours.

-But,,,but it's..

-Yes. Today there are very few writers who really need a muse, me. All others just recycle the writing of others who recycled yet before. The edge of recycling. As if the new writing ever enlarged greenhouse effect.

-Well, in a way it does. For all new writing, you need new paper. So instead of this, they recycle ideas and use Internet.

-And new ideas, couldn't they leave them on internet? Is there a law that says that the original writing HAS to be published on real paper?

-No, of course there is no such law, but now, as you mentioned it, I really see a connection between publishing in real world a really new ideas. Almost as if everybody, who has something original to say, wants it to be printed on paper, as if the smell of new book tells you that you smell new ideas.

-Yes, sound like human thinking. But now I feel that I am not needed, so maybe I'll stop to be Muse. Maybe I'll begin recycling too.

-No!! I need you! Please be my Muse. I promise to listen to you always. I promise not to rewrite others' ideas but yours only!