I believe of fervent heart Carla that a dream wrapped in our heart must first be spoken and proclaimed, or even whispered to another before it is given wings of magnificence to fly
Excerpt from 'letters To Carla: Chasing My Heart"
Letters To Carla 6/17/2001
A Pocket Full Of Dreams
My Dear Carla,
I return to you instantly upon parchment my dear before I can be erased from your mind, driven and directed by the relentless and ever-present bit in my mouth likened unto that of my most favorite creature on earth, the horse. Alas, a masterpiece of creation indeed, graceful beyond words, shedding all fear as he charges into the battle being drawn by the scent of battle and courage of heart. I adore riding, Carla, the thrust of power beneath you as a horse alters gait from walk to trot, then into the orgasmic gallop, then finally transferring himself into the wind as he moves into a full run. Oh my, the wish of my heart is that all could experience the power and beauty of such an experience. I longed as a child to have a horse, not unusual for a boy of ten I might add, just to be informed that we were city folk, not afforded such luxuries due to city codes and what not, I merely suggested we move to the country, thus resolving the situation; alas, the simple solutions indeed bred out of the youth and innocence a child carries about in his heart.
My dream never became a reality, as with many of my dreams I have hoarded, stuffed and carried about in my overloaded pockets as does a young boy, valuables spilling about with each movement and turn due to the overstuffed nature of the pockets. Alas, the beauty that dreams afford us both young and old if indeed we be the type to embrace such things lofty and high as dreams, Carla, no dream has ever been realized, lest it was pursued first! A dream my dear, one must chase after with all his might as does a young boy who has lost the string to his kite of beauty.
Once again when I was ten years old or so, we had a park at the end of our street, all, in the summertime would array their kites in the sky, most were of the Superman store bought type, however my Father always crafted a magnificent box kite, hand made, I then desired it not, rather wanting to possess one as all others had, likened in identical fashion. But today my dear friend, this masterpiece of art as well as construction now clearly in adulthood stands out and duly impresses me as the most magnificent of all kites arrayed in those sunny summer skies of youth. Dad enjoyed flying it as much as I, seldom letting me touch it I might add! I now remember as well he fashioned an elaborate wood handle and dispenser that easily dispensed ten times the string as opposed to the clumsy balls of string all others handled and had.
Yes, due to my Father's brilliance in both design and construction, our kite roamed higher in the sky always then did the others. It indeed was a magnificent piece of art, hearty, bold, different and dripping in both beauty and style, occasionally he would allow me to attach one of my favorite army men to the kite thus rendering it in my mind as carrying a piece of me as well unto the heavens! This practice was rare however, since the additional weight harmed, hindered and hampered the precision weight as well as flight of the masterful creation. Those days were rare when we would spend time together, my Father and I, but often enough to remember thank God.
As I would watch the masterpiece and creation soar to the heavens, I would as well send and watch my dreams soar as an offering and prayer into the heavens sprinkled in splendor, hoping one day they would be realized. Yes Carla, I was always a dreamer, ashamed to admit it in adulthood, but always wanted to be famous, for all to know my name and seek to be me, as I, yes, sought to be them! I could think of nothing more exciting indeed! I smile as I admit sheepishly; I still seek in part this dream! I always in spite of my many insecurities felt there was this special touch upon my life to attain greatness, most of this touch wilted and dissipated many years ago. Perhaps Carla, I felt indeed that if a man should be exposed to such hardships and pain, that indeed he was entitled to a dream as suitable as just recompense for such a life of differing hardships, trials and darkness!
I know Carla, I remain not the only creature who has seen hell, yet I still feel there must be a pay off somewhere hiding about the corner for me! Is it indeed a selfish desire? Perhaps, but nevertheless if I am to disclose in honesty, I must admit to this childish dream. Shall I realize it in my lifetime? I know not, but this I know and proclaim of sure heart, it is better to have dreamed and fallen short, than to never have dreamed at all.
My Father however disagreed with such dreaming, he merely said I was setting myself up for disappointments, due to my grandiose dreams of fame, wrapped in art and accomplishment, perhaps he was right, though I think not at all! My dreams to this day my friend of heart are all that is left to drag me into the morrow. If I dreamed not, I could no longer bare the hardship, and pain that life has deemed proper to usher into my heart to date. Yes, for me Carla, dreams lend marvelous spark filled hope for the morrow as well as sweeping away the ugliness of yesteryears.
I believe of fervent heart Carla that a dream wrapped in our heart must first be spoken and proclaimed, or even whispered to another before it is given wings of magnificence to fly. So yes my dear you have discovered in part this day the partial significance of my special letters to you, a chance for my dreams to bear wings of beauty to carry them into the heights of the heavens to be among all my other feathered friends and creatures of beauty, I hold so near and dear to my heart. Am I a child at heart my dear? I sure hope so! For the madness of adulthood renders me no pleasure indeed! I seek only to return to the simplicity and charm of the ten year old I left behind in memory so many years ago, for it was indeed then that my heart still reigned in pureness and love, innocent and delicate. Shall I succeed?
In part my dear, I have already by traveling this road backwards in time upon the magical parchment and collection entitled "Letters To Carla." Thank you my dear heart, for being there to catch and embrace my dreams as well as my tears. May this day find you wrapped in the dreams of yesteryear as well as touched in love with your hopes for the morrow.
Yours In Heart, Hands Tightly Clasped,
Rodney
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Reviewed by coni_lea
4/5/2003
I beleive once you love something, you never forget that someone, that animal, etc, nor do you forget how you felt, when you thought of them, let yourself show them you love,,,I still love my two favorite, horses, Socks, and Buttons, my nicknames for them,,,both were horses given to me, and I was not allowed to show them I loved them,,but I loves this write, as I read more about Carla, I'm learning of "who" you are in love with and what it means to you,,keep the ink flowing, Ahoy!
Rosetta was born in 1909 as the youngest of ten children. The family had more laughter than money and neighbors would knock on their door to ask, "Can we come in and laugh, too?"
About the clients and escorts who once were part of Professional Escorts of Marin County, California. The timeframe was from 1974 until 1990.
You will enjoy the easy to read book that gives a glimpse into escorting. Enjoy the read.
