If you’re a cat owner, you know all the joys and terrors of owning such fur balls. Cats use living rooms as race tracks, soccer fields, and wrestling rings. There’s Feline Championship Wrestling each night at three AM. They shed 365 days a year (unless you own the Sphynx breed, which the problem of shedding is nonexistent), and picking up said hair in the process clogs up the vacuum cleaner. Cats hack up slimy hairballs—if not discovered right away, end up a dried, crusty mess behind the sofa months later. Should you run a can opener, prepare for a stampede, especially in multiple cat households.

Oh, yes, don’t forget four-legged beings scratching at the bedroom door howling for breakfast before dawn and trying to escape outside as if making a jail break each time the front door is opened.

Christmas is especially fun with cats as household members. They could have hundreds of cute little toys scattered about the house, yet for some reason when you come home from work or wake up each morning, shiny  ornaments appear everywhere but on the tree. But two things remain, the angel (or star) on top…and Kitty taking up space on a few branches if he isn‘t swinging on them.

Preparing for the holidays should be considered a sport for cat owners. There’s Chase the Tinsel, Pull the Cat Out of Boxes, Pry Fluffy Off the Wreath, Keep Kitty Away from the Tree While Assembling/Decorating, Put Gifts High Enough So Muffin Doesn’t Rip the Paper and Steal the Bows, Re-Decorate Tree Because Snowball Knocked it over Again, and Keep Wrapping Paper Away so Fat Boy Cat Doesn’t Lay On It While You’re Trying to Wrap Gifts.

If you’re lucky enough to have a kitchen door, make sure it’s closed unless your cookie and pie recipes call for whiskers and cat hair. The same applies to the big holiday meal. Try preparing a turkey with Meow Meow lurking below the counter moments before he makes the big jump onto it. Just make sure it’s actually turkey you stuff and not the cat before putting in the oven. Everything else should go in the refrigerator or cupboards or you’ll have whiskered guests as pre-dinner tasters.

Cats can be fun on Christmas morning. The kitty toy left by Santa Paws you thought was so adorable will lay virtually ignored while the fur balls are more amused with both the wrapping paper and box. For those of you who bought your kids train sets or remote control cars are also in for some laughs. Nothing puts one in stitches more than watching cats chase after such moving objects. Even adult items such as Roomba vacuums drive them nuts. Such antics are worthy of making videos to save for more hilarity long after Christmas is over.

Bored with the same holiday entertainment? When opening gifts, throw a bow on the floor and watch Ultimate Cat Fighting commence. For emphasis, blend in a little Christmas catnip. Once they’re loaded with catnip effects and bored with bow chasing, Mr. Whiskers and Company should sleep for awhile—at least until dinner.

A peaceful Christmas dinner can only be accomplished by shutting the cat(s) in another room. They won’t like it very much, but may forgive you if a few turkey giblets or ham scraps are sent their way. After dining on Meow Mix and Friskies the other 364 days, turkey and ham are a gourmet feast to cats. At least they are to my own, who even eat the dressing.

As with putting up decorations, be prepared for another obstacle course when taking them down. I made the mistake one year of not checking one of the boxes before putting them away. Not long after, scratching and yowling could be heard coming from the closet. I realized I packed one of the cats by mistake. There was nothing like opening a box and seeing two gold evil eyes glaring back at me. I didn’t see him climb in the box! After that time, I tend to check all my Christmas decoration storage cartons before I put them away.

I also wouldn’t advise dressing them in cute Santa costumes unless you want to be clawed to death. The dog may tolerate it, but Kitty? Not so much. Putting clothes on cats is right up there with attempting to bathe them—both should be named occupational hazards.

Feline ownership may have its headaches during the holidays, but it also has its amusing and joyous sides. Meowy Catmas and to all a good night.