Deadeye Dick was trying to hold up through the pain that racked his leg; his whole body. The pain was a pulse that radiated out and back in, always starting and ending at Dick’s ruined right femur. The .45 slug had done it’s work. The smell of horse manure filtered through the heavy dust of the main street. Townspeople stood on the boardwalk just staring. Not moving. Just standing like cardboard cutouts. A tumbleweed rolled over Deadeye - mocking the gunslingers inability to move. Finally a woman, dressed in white, complete with a starched white cap ran from the Banjo Saloon and kneeled next to Deadeye Dick. She smiled and looked at the splintered, protruding thigh bone. In a kind gesture she took a white handkerchief and wiped the sweat and dust from Deadeye’s face. Next she took a huge hypodermic syringe from her medical bag and filled it with morphine. “ This will take away the pain - most anyway.” The pain began to fade at once. Deadeye took a deep breath and smiled. “ Damn if that didn’t do the trick. How’s the leg look Ma’am?” “ Sir, my name is Mona Lotts,R.N. I’m going to get some of the men to get you on a table. I’m afraid without a doctor in town I’m going to have to amputate the leg above the break. I’ll whittle you a wood leg when you’re up and about.” “ Mona, there are no men. Just cardboard cutouts. What is this place? “
"Deadeye, you came here looking for Slade Hardy. He won the shootout and rode west.” “I never lost a gunfight. Where am I Mona Lotts?” “ You're in Mudd Creek Kansas. But not the real one. In Hollywood actually. Nothing's real except us. I’m an actress. They called for a sexy nurse and I got the part. Probably ‘cause I’m pretty damn sexy. But the filming stopped when you were shot. The wound is real and honestly I have no idea what to do. I guess I should find a saw and just take that leg off. Wish I knew how to stop the bleeding. That’s a problem Dick.”
Mona Lotts, R.N. ran off in search of a saw. Dick ,now pain free, agreed the leg needed to go. Hated being sawed on here in all this horse shit. Dick fell into a deep sleep where he was riding toward Colorado with the sexy nurse, who was missing her top three blouse buttons. Beating hooves along a pine lined path Mona held tight to Deadeye Dick. It was then his leg fell off. This caused the couple to break into a near hysterical bout of laughing. Guess it’s funny to some.
************************************************************************************** Doctors and nurses worked in near perfect unison. A high pitched squeal of a surgical saw dulled as it cut the patient's right leg from his body. No one registered shock at this sight, they were, after all professionals. In the deepest sleep of his life Deadeye Dick looked forward to reaching his cabin in Colorado and spending time with Mona Lotts. His last adventure would be his best. eNd
So far, you seem to have all of the Hollywood old West correctly figured out. They didn't have morphine and syringes in the late 1800s. And, today, they usually fix badly shattered bones by piecing them together with a lot of metal so that extremities don't have to be removed like they did in the Civil War with only whiskey for anesthetic. A leg falling off? I doubt it.
Forced to put the schooner Heimdall into dry-dock for repairs and modifications, the crew chooses to holiday in Southern Utah so they can rendezvous with the Professor, a brilliant confidant from Rabat. What he shares at the summit stuns the crew and
