A Family Christmas in Cozumel, Mexico
It started out as a simple idea: Why not go to Mexico for Christmas? No tree, no presents, no last minute stress of getting just the right thing for someone for the Holidays. Yes, this was a most excellent plan. My husband also liked the scheme; he is not so sure about all of my relatives attending, but is gracious about my stinking family. My sister, brother, cousin and their families love the plan. My parents initially elected to stay home, but later decide to attend, rather miffed that we would all desert them so readily for a warm climate.
Arrive in Cancun without incident; remainder of journey not pleasant. We next take a ferry, with our six hundred bags laden with scuba gear. The various cab drivers drop us off at the most inconvenient spots; we then have no practical choice but to hire people to help us schlep our extra bags. This seems to be a conspiracy by the cab drivers. Pick up stupid tourists and drop them off in the middle of the street to carry massive overloaded bags. My son complains that his three year old cousin “Baby” is not carrying his full share. Give him withering look and tell him to march on. We are next dropped off at the end of a long ferry dock where we again have to huff our bags a long distance. Sister-in-law offers her children’s cheese and cracker packages to the adults; we all dive at the treat like vultures. Children go hungry. Everyone exhausted by the time we climb into three cabs for an hour ride. Arrive at the hotel, crabby and hungry. Make mental note to take plane directly to Cozumel on the next trip.
The purpose of our trip is to scuba dive, play tennis and enjoy the sun. The older boys also make it their mission to take full advantage of the breakfast buffet every morning. My son likens it to the Royal Port which is one of his favorite restaurants. The boys have successfully passed their three day scuba certification with no mishaps. They brag about their prowess. Lose my temper with my oldest son and call him an idiot in the Christmas spirit of things. As a fourteen year old, he believes himself to be invincible. Remind him about equipment failures, etc. He tries to looks suitably chastened On the first dive, oldest son surfaces with one hundred pounds of air while younger son has over seven hundred. Five hundred pounds is the minimum margin upon surfacing. Begin to wonder who the more nervous diver is. Oldest son insists that the shark he tried to swim down to caused him to over exert himself. Control myself from smacking oldest son. Foolhardy sons emerge from the water in cork-like fashion, dive master shouts at them for good reason. They have forgotten the slow safety ascent that is critical when scuba diving. Both boys forget crucial scuba technique of wiping snot from face before leaving water. Not a good look for them. Husband takes some fetching pictures on the boat as I emerge from the water looking very sylph like. Remind self to get new bathing suit that leaves no rolls or “gathers” as husband likes to call my extra skin. The “gathers” don not flatter my imagined sylph like appearance.
My daughter and her cousins also try their hand a scuba diving and a do a remarkable job of staying calm in the water. I observe them closely when they proceed down to the beach and put on their gear. They all alternately pop up and down while trying to descend to ten feet but not a one panics. Very impressive. Believe they enjoyed tossing their newly braided hair about and looking for people to admire them more than they enjoyed their diving. It seems they are rather like their mothers in this regard.
Carlos Y Charlies attracts my sister, cousin, Mom and I like magnets. We are dancers. The men are drinkers. We try all of our best moves which empties the dance floor. Sister and I try freak dancing but get no claps from the audience. Sister and her spouse dance on stage which looks like something between a hula and the polka. A most entertaining dance. Employee of disco raps cousin on butt with paddle as she dances with her image in the mirror. The mirror worked quite well for her as her partner as it knew all four of her moves. I myself have only two moves. Watch young girls freak dance and decide that this sort of dancing requires absolutely no talent. It must be a dance invented by young men as there seems to be some very close contact between partners. The sort of dancing would never fly at my son’s parochial school.
As my mom said in her Christmas letter, Christmas is really about being with your family and sharing special times together. This will be a Christmas that I will long treasure as we were all together, which was unusual. Twenty people and not one argument excepting the usual contest about the loser who came up from a dive with least amount of air....all in the Christmas spirit of course.
