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A true story about a very classy lady.
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The Night Shirley Jones Confessed Her Undying Love for Me
It was a cool evening for some cool events that night in Sarasota, Florida a few years ago. The Van Wiesel theatre was filling up for a lady who was not even on the marquee. The lady was Shirley Jones, America's sweetheart from the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s. Just as a reminder to younger readers, Shirley starred in Oklahoma with Gordon McRae, then they were cast together again in Carousel, she was Marian the Librarian in the Music Man, a hot prostitute in Elmer Gantry, and America's top mom in TV's the Partridge Family. On this evening, Shirley was in her mid 70s, and she was the epitome of feminine pulchritude (translation: hot as a firecracker).
My wife is from Europe, she loves the theatre, and she was ready to go in an instant when I mentioned the Van Wiesel. She had no idea who Shirley Jones was, but she loved the Van Wiesel theatre, and we were off in a few minutes. I told her that Shirley and I were former lovers, and she was OK with that bit of fiction.
We had seats within 20 feet of the stage. Shirley was there to introduce a lot of new young performers, not as the feature performer. But the audience was not having any of that. We coaxed song after song from her and relived the days of our youth with this lady who got better looking with each sip of wine. Did I mention that you can drink wine in the audience as long as you stay in your seat and don't trip over anyone?
Olga (my wife) was dazzled by Shirley's good looks and her amazing voice. Needless to say, so was I. It was during my third glass of wine when Shirley began to warble Till There Was You from the Music Man. Now I have always been an easy target for a musical, an attractive singer, and a great song. These factors all converged, and tears were flowing down my cheeks as Shirley looked straight into my baby blues and through my tears as she sang...
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“There was love all around
But I never heard it singing
No, I never heard it at all
Till there was you!”
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It was at that most propitious moment when I concocted my plan. We were going to meet this lady, and I was going to leave a memorable impression on her, or go to jail from trying.
When the performance was over, we filtered out to the lobby. Lo and behold! Shirley was seated at a table and was signing various pictures and brochures for a line of about 20 people. I purchased a nice 8 x 10 photo and took my place—last in line. Olga was excited that she would soon get to meet a real Hollywood star. I reminded her that Shirley would probably not remember me.
As the line dwindled, I reached into my pocket and took out a pen. Wow! It was a beautiful red and gold pen from...who knows where? It looked like it cost a fortune. I had never seen it before. But there it was in my hand.
Shirley looked straight at me and said “Well, it looks like you are the last one.” I replied “It's fitting. I have had the longest love affair with you, so maybe we've saved the best till last.” She looked a bit startled, and replied “Oh? Tell me about it.” I reminded her of the song “People Will Say We're in Love” from Oklahoma. “Oh, yes. It's one of my favorites.” “Mine too,” I replied. “And it was so nice of you to sing it and rekindle our love affair.”
She chuckled. “That is so sweet of you. Would you like me to sign my picture with your name?”
I was still holding that beautiful pen, so I said “Yes, but would you sign it with your new pen, a gift from me?” I handed her the pen.
“Wow! That is a dazzler,” she said with surprise. “Is this really for me?” I assured her it was.
“I have never had a pen like this in my entire life” she said as she looked it over. “It looks too expensive to be a gift to me. Are you sure you want to give it away?”
I replied instantly “Shirley, just accept it as a token of my love for you. You can sign the picture 'To Ed with all my love, Shirley' and we will be even.”
“Hmmm. 'With all my love' sounds like we could be lovers” she mused. I replied “How about 'To Ed, Love, Shirley' on three lines?”
“That's a deal,” she said, signed it, and handed me the picture.
I looked at the picture and said “Thanks for leaving space for those three little words.”
“What three words, Ed?” she replied.
“With all my” said I.
“You tricked me, Ed” said she.
“I know,” said I. “Do you think people will say we're in love?”
“Do I get to keep the pen?” she smiled.
“With all my love, Shirley. With all my love.”
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Listen and watch Shirley sing “Till there was you” from the Music Man.
