Trust and Betrayal

James Comey showed the world today what an honest man looks and sounds like—a trustworthy man, and someone with honor. How refreshing!

In contrast, Donald Trump seems only to understand the term “loyalty” in its vilest form. He neither cares about trust, nor is it a part of his inner value system. This gap between these two divergent human attributes explains a lot about these two men, what guides their thinking, and what motivates them in most of their decisions. Let me be clear about my own limitations in this area: I am not a psychologist. But I have walked the walk. I will provide a partial list of books, articles, and monographs on trust and loyalty so that the most discerning reader might find enjoyment in reading about them for the next 6 months or so. As a writer, my job is done if I can capture the essence of them in three pages or less.

I once worked for a dishonest man. He was untrustworthy. He lied. He would never take blame for anything that went wrong, even though more often than not he was the cause of the damage done. Conversely, he took credit for nearly everything that went his way, and he rarely rewarded others for their contributions unless they supported him, right or wrong. He promised pie in the sky, and never delivered. He fired people wantonly. Most beat him to the punch and left before he could come up with a fake list of reasons for letting them go.

When I interviewed for his top job, I knew very little about him. But he was smooth. He could charm a snake. We beat around the bush with banter for awhile, and then he blurted out ”I’m worth about 20 million dollars. Does that bother you?” I knew this was my “make or break” moment. I had been unemployed for awhile, and really needed the job. So I mustered up my best response. I leaned toward him and looked him straight in the eyes, and with the most determined look of my life I said: “Before I am through here I intend to make you the richest son-of-a-bitch in the state.”

He hesitated for a moment, then broke into the biggest smile I had ever seen. He stood up, extended his right hand, and said: “Welcome aboard, Mr. Executive Vice President. Hot damn, welcome aboard!”

I had expressed the kind of loyalty he understood. It proved to be my downfall.

To sum up our relationship quickly, his empire rose, the money rolled in, he became a lot richer, and I managed to get out of debt while climbing back into the middle class. I spit a lot, attached his name and face to all the glowing charts, graphs, and articles that I could pen. I found myself golfing and dining at the finest country club, rubbing elbows with the area’s elite. I even learned how to be charming in a disgusting sort of way.

When my downfall came, he shouted “Disloyal.” I countered with “Untrustworthy.” I found myself sedated, and under the care of two doctors who were undecided about whether to have me committed to a mental ward.

Two years later I was still wobbly, out of work, and back to my economic state of near poverty. But I resolved to walk away from every person who cheats, lies, or steals; or otherwise shows that he or she cannot be trusted. It’s tough. These bastards are clever.

--------------------------------
Readings in finding and building trust in the workplace

1. Resolving Conflicts - Equitably!

2. Resolving to Seek Higher Pay Sets an Achievable Goal

3. FORBES: Tips for Execs to Prevent Disgruntled Worker Backlash

4. FORBES: Execs Bulk Up on Protection as Violent Threats Rise

5. Want to Be a Hollywood Star? Here Are Some Tips...

6. Avoiding Workplace Litigation - Part I

7. Avoiding Workplace Litigation - Part II

8. Where's the People Factor?

9. Are YOU Ready for Radical Change?

10. Five Best Ways to Build... And Lose... Trust in the Workforce

11. Job Survival Skills for a New Century

12. Your Career is a Business... So Run it Like One!

13. Free Trade... Good or Bad for US Workers

14. A Personal 'Mission Statement' Spells Success

15. Getting Ahead Isn't Playing Politics!

16. The Tele-Work Option

17. Stress in the Workplace

18. Where Has All the Loyalty Gone?

19. Keeping Teams Effective

20. Hiring & Firing Employees: Don't Force "At-Will" In Writing

21. The Problem of Sexual Harassment

22. Workplace Violence - A Real Killer!

23. Resolving Conflicts - Equitably

24. Excellence - Just a Little Better Than Average

25. Are You Adept At Adapting?