Male – Female Language Conversion Dictionary
Female Phrases converted to male Understanding
By SusieQ
Copyright Susie Harrison 2003
A humorous and handy guidebook for assisting men and women in communication:
Woman: “Honey, please take out the trash”
Male Interpretation: “Honey, Please watch and keep me posted on the Raider’s Game”
Woman: ‘Will you please take the children, they are driving me crazy?”
Male Interpretation: “Will you go in your room and put on Thursday Night Wrestling”
Woman: ‘Dear, I need to deposit your check today to pay the rent”
Male Interpretation: “Please stay out late after work and have a beer with the guys”
Woman: “Could you clean the yard and garage this Saturday?”
Male Interpretation: “Could you please sleep in and watch Arnold Swarzenager movies all day Saturday?”
Woman: “I would love it if you would be romantic and sensitive sometimes, like you used to be”
Male Interpretation: “Hey sexy, I love painful titty twisters and rough, wild sex like we used to have”
Woman: “Why do you watch that FAKE wrestling stuff, it’s violent for the kids?”
Male Interpretation: “Those wrestling moves are so COOL, please teach the kids some”
Woman: “Wouldn’t it be nice to go out for a nice dinner and dancing”
Male Interpretation: “Hey lets hit the sports bar then catch a few nudie dances on the other side of town”
Woman: “Could you drop by the store, but don’t take too long, the boys need a ride to scouts tonight”
Man: “Could you stop by the store, get beer, then drop some quarters in some machines at the
Indian Casino next door; after all, the boys will be at scouts all evening.”
Woman: “We should consider getting a family car, maybe a nice, powder blue, minivan for summer vacations.”
Male Interpretation:” We should really apply for a new, 4 wheel drive, jet red, Hummer and go four wheeling with the family”
Woman; “Can we invite some friends over for a game of Pictionary this Saturday?”
Male Interpretation: “Could we invite all your buddies from work over to drink whiskey and play poker this Saturday”
Woman: “I’ve had it, I want a divorce!”
Male Interpretation; “I would love to be stalked and harassed for the next year of my life!”
Too Be Continued…….
Please, in the review section add a few of your own ‘interpretations’ of the miscommunications
between the male and female race.
