A boy who is learning-disabled feels like nobody cares; he has no friends, and he is often ostracized at school.
I don't want much outta' life; all I want is someone that I can call friend.
My name is Itzhak (Izzy) Abraham Feingold, and I am 13 years old. I hate my name; why did I have to be named ITZHAK?? That sounds like a name of a disease! I am the only kid to Harvey and Gloria, who are my parents, and I think they are disappointed in me. You see, my parents are both lawyers, and are very smart, and I am just an average kid. I guess they were hoping I would be something like the guy I was named after, Itzhak Perlman, who is a great violin player; but the thing is, I hate classical music, and I am dumber than a bag of rocks! I am average...Well, maybe NOT average, but...smart is ONE thing I definitely am NOT! (As you can see by my name, I was named after Itzhak Perlman, but I am NOT him, NOT by a long shot!!)
I am in Special-Needs at school. Special-Needs means I have problems learning. I have something called dyslexia, which means I see certain numbers or letters mixed up, and because of it I can't read much more than baby books. I also have problems with math, and everything is just too damned hard for me! I hate school, especially since the kids make fun of me. They call me stupid or Icky Izzy, or they call me Retardo, which I do NOT like; I know I am NOT retarded! I get help from my teachers in Special-Needs, but school is still hard; it seems I am always struggling over something or stuck doing homework! I also have adhd, which means I have trouble paying attention, and that makes things even worse. I know mom and dad must be disappointed in me; they look at me and shake their heads, and it hurts my feelings.
I hate being in Special-Needs because I get teased; there isn't a day where I don't get teased, and there has been more than one day where I have come home in tears. I try not to let the teasing of the other kids get to me, but when I have to face it each and every day, just as soon as I get on the bus, well, is it any wonder why I am often so upset?? All the kids in Special-Needs tease me; they think I am a dork because I am tall and skinny for my age, and they tease me because of my name and because I am Jewish by faith. They also tease me because I often mess up in school, and they are always laughing at me or doing things, like throwing spitwads into my hair, tripping me when I walk by, or call me hurtful names like Icky Izzy.
Not only do the Special-Needs kids tease me: everyone else does too, it seems, especially the popular kids. They are even worse than the Special-Needs kids: they have gone as far as picking my skinny little body up and tossing me into a trash can or stuffing me into a locker, which is about the worst thing they can do to me. (I am severely claustrophobic. Get me in a tight space, and I absolutely FREAK!!) I don't have a friend in the world, and every day, I have to face this hell called school. I have tried playing hooky or skipping out, but all I end up doing is getting caught and then turned in by the truant officer; and then I only catch further hell from my mom and dad! I also have tried playing sick, but you can only think of so much before your parents turn suspicious and then find it out that you are not really sick. I once tried to tell them that I had AIDS or flesh-eating disease, and all that got me was a good grounding and then a conferance call with my teacher, who was also highly unamused.
The only time I am ever happy is when I am NOT in school, like when we have Thanksgiving or Christmas break; and I am really looking forward to Christmas break (or in my case, Hanukkah break; we Jewish really don't celebrate Christmas). Still, I also get the time off, and when I am not in school, I pretty much stay holed up in my room, playing with my games or watching tv, anything not to do with reading, writing, or SCHOOL. Just as long as it DOESN'T involve school, I am HAPPY! Mom and dad get really sore at me because they think I should be doing "something more constructive with my time", but all I do is tell them to go to hell and leave me alone. (I do too; I tell my parents off. They get on my nerves at times!)
I still wouldn't mind having a friend, though, a friend I could call my own. I have tried to talk to the new kids at school, but all I usually end up doing is end up looking like a total spazzoid or geek, and then I get teased worse than ever, so I tend to stay to myself and hope nobody will notice me (but somehow, they always do, especially if I fall over someone's foot or do something off the wall or have one of the popular kids razzing me by stuffing me into a locker or into a trash can). It doesn't help that I am in Special-Needs; that is bad enough, but even the Special-Needs kids tease me (well, excepting for Todd Sandusky, but he never has anything to say; the poor guy can't talk; he has C.P. and is in a wheelchair, and he has other problems), and sometimes I feel like that the whole world is against me.
Hang in there Izzy! "Hope is the invisible part of ourselves that can mean the difference between getting somewhere and getting nowhere." Very nice story. I think he's has a wonderful name..peace abel
Reviewed by Kate Clifford
12/8/2003
Childhood can be very difficult and extremely difficult for children that are not of the "norm." Thanks for the sharing.
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