A woman copes with being a double amputee. (She lost her legs after being run over by a train.)
Life for me has suddenly become nothing but a giant series of challenges, challenges I'd much rather not go through. Hell, I wouldn't wish nothing THIS bad on my own worst enemy!
This is Windy Thundercloud, and I am still in the hospital as I write this; and it looks like I will be here for a very long time to come. I am about recovered from being injured when I had been run over by a train (and literally cut in two: I lost both my legs), but now I face months of painful reconstructive surgery and tortuous physical and occupational therapy.
With Christmas coming up, I have been somewhat on the depressed side; it seems that nobody has come to see me here in the hospital, and not even my very own sister, Karen, or my brothers, Charley or Davis, have come to see me. I am sure that people have let them know of my accident, but why they haven't come to see me is something I can't understand. I thought they loved me or cared about me!
I lost my legs several months back when I slipped on a wet patch of grass and fell onto some railroad tracks; and before I could get a chance to get up and get away, a train ran over me. I thought for sure I was going to get killed--in fact, I saw my entire life flash before my eyes--, but through an unexplained miracle, I survived the accident--but not before I lost my legs when the train ran over them. In fact, the last thing I remember was the roar of the train as it passed over me and then the feeling of sharp, incredible, indescribable pain--and then total blackness as I mercifully passed out from the pain. (I didn't know I lost my legs until I woke up in the hospital several days later, and ever since, it has been nothing but an uphill battle as I have been working hard to try to get my life back, even with the loss of my legs.)
Before I was injured, I was living in Enid, Oklahoma, with my friend, Willie RedHawk, and his family, and working at a factory; but then I went to Tennessee to visit another friend when I was injured. I have been stuck here in Nashville, Tennessee (in a hospital, yet) since; and right now, I am so bored I am ready to pull my hair out by the roots! I haven't had anyone to visit me except doctors or nurses; and all they do are take my vitals, give me meds, or take blood from me or poke needles in me until I feel like I am a giant sized pincushion! And right now I would KILL for something BESIDES this AWFUL hospital food; this hospital food makes me want to VOMIT!! (Get me a Whopper from Burger King or a Big Mac meal from McDonald's: as long as it ISN'T hospital food, I'll be HAPPY!!!!)
As I said earlier, I am from Oklahoma. Live in Enid, but was born in Skiatook, which is in the northeast part of the state. I am the youngest of four. I have two brothers, Davis and Charley, and a sister, Karen. Karen and Charley still live in Oklahoma, in Enid, not far from where I do, but Davis lives in Tennessee, in Murfreesboro, which is not TOO far from Nashville, and right now I am mad at all my siblings because they haven't dropped by to see me while I have been in the hospital! Mama and Daddy have been here to see me a few times, but I worry about them because both are now elderly and Daddy, he isn't in that great of shape; and I worry about what my being injured may do to him. He has a bad heart and bad lungs, and he is on oxygen a lot of the time.
As you can see by my name, I am Native American Indian. I am Cherokee Indian, and I am very proud of my heritage. I have very long black hair that has grey streaks running through it, a broad, ruddy-colored face, and a strong nose and heavy, strong features, and I am fairly tall, but I AM on the heavy side. All my family members (except my Mama) are on the tall side; we get it from my daddy's side of the family.
As soon as I am out of the hospital, I am going back to Oklahoma. Tennessee IS nice, but it ISN'T Oklahoma, and I miss my friends and my job back there. I just hope that when I DO go back to Oklahoma, I can get my job back at the factory; but I don't know if I will be able to, now that I will be spending a lot of my waking hours sitting in a wheelchair once this therapy crap is out of the way. But right now, my stumps are about to KILL me: they have really been making me work my ass of in therapy, and right now my stumps are annoyed and are screaming obscenities at me! I can't sleep at night because if I lay wrong, my stumps will go off, sending waves of pain slamming into my brain, and it is all I can do to keep from throwing up. The therapists call my pain "phantom pain", and they are NOT kidding: it's like a monster is attacking my legs, and it is so weird because even though my lower legs are no longer there, my mind tells me they are, and this is where the pain comes in; and you can NOT believe the pain I go through! It is maddening, and it is about to drive me CRAZY!!
The therapists are working with me, teaching me how to stand with artificial legs attached to my stumps; but my stumps are still on the sensitive side; and next week, they are going to teach me how to use Lofstrand crutches, which are short crutches that attach to my elbows, and teach me how to walk. I am like, "Yeah, right. I am going to walk, without my legs. HOW in the HELL am I going to walk WITHOUT legs??" and they said that they are going to teach me how to walk. It's bad enough standing with those god-damn artificial legs attached to my stumps, and the pain is enough to make me want to toss my cookies; HOW in the hell am I going to WALK??
Karen I was watching the story of the injured soldiers on tv and how painful some of their recovery efforts were. This is when I started thinking like Chris Rock, and I quote, "i'm not going to fight, let someones else do it." good story with a sting. love and cheers G
Reviewed by Robert Blackwell
12/13/2003
Another heart-rending tale from your pen, Karen. The injuries to the body are bad enough, but the injuries to poor Windy's heart are unbearable.
O'Thank God I still have my legs...this is so damn sad Karen!!
I just don't know if I will ever have the will to go on without my legs!! Some people have it much worse than I do and they are still cheerful!! Tsk!! I need a smack in the face to wake me up from my silly sadness and just move on!!
I will still be around but not sue if I will have time to write any new stuff while my daughter is here...maybe I might just start updating my work again...and start with my very first write and try ti fix all the grammar mistakes...lol!!
this is a poignant, well written story...you write so well, convey the feelings so perfectly, and make the reader care about the characters (GREAT JOB)
Suspenseful and close to home, Rain of Deception 2 will leave you in Tears. Much like Part 1, this will shocking sequel will keep you on the edge of your fingertips.
Life for me has suddenly become nothing but a giant series of challenges, challenges I'd much rather not go through. Hell, I wouldn't wish nothing THIS bad on my own worst enemy!
