The former New York firefighter who was injured rescuing a small boy from a fire (the little boy has since died), copes with returning back to work since her injury and other things.
I am sorry if I haven't been able to write and let you know how I have been doing, but with my injury affecting my hands (I can't move them very well; I can move my shoulders just fine; but my hands are still pretty messed up; they are partially paralyzed, and I am still having ongoing therapy), I really haven't been able to do a lot for myself except for feeling sorry for myself.
I have since returned to my job with the Nashville Fire Department, but answering phones, fielding 9-1-1 calls, is NOT exactly my cup of tea; I'd much rather be out where all the action is; but then came that fire where I rescued that little boy, and...well, hell--you know what happened; I am not in the mood to talk about it, you know?? It's still too traumatic for me to deal with, and with the holidays here, I am not exactly in the Christmas frame of mind, you know??
As you can tell, this is Brooklyn Marie Harrington writing. I am writing this on a computer keyboard with a special pointer attached to my head; and trying to type without the use of my hands is NOT exactly easy, you know?? My hands are still pretty fucked up; still can't move my hands, and they are still fucking paralyzed, from the injury I suffered; and my life has been a living hell since. I just recently got out of the hospital (the regular hospital; I am now staying at the rehab hospital; more on this in a bit) about two months back, and I have been going to fucking physical and occupational therapy since. I go to therapy just about every day, and it's fucking wearing me out! I CAN do SOME things for myself, but I still need a lot of help, so my ma, she is down from the Bronx with me, to help me out. I can't exactly do very much for myself at the moment...I need help with getting dressed/undressed, eating, and shit, and it's been a hell of a very big change for me.
I haven't been back to New York since before becoming injured; but ma, she is talking about taking me back to The City once I get all this therapy crap squared away; and maybe we'll go there for Christmas. I hope so; New York City at Christmas time is so pretty! But ever since the terror attacks that killed my two brothers (they were firefighters, too, like me) two years back, and the destruction of the Twin Towers, I haven't had the heart to go back to The City; it just doesn't look the same, and each time I see the skyline of NYC now, my heart is stabbed, and old wounds are opened anew; and I just can't deal with all the fucking memories!
I am still here in Tennessee; I am staying at the rehab part of the hospital. I am in the hospital, but I am not in; it's kinda' hard to explain. I am an outpatient, but I still need hospital care; there! That's how I meant to say it; and I hope you know what I am talking about! Nashville IS nice, and I HAVE met many nice people (mostly medical people, doctors, nurses, therapists, etc.), but it's NOT home, and I miss the Way of The City. Nashville is too fucking sleepy for my active City Blood, and I just can't handle the "country, slow-paced way of life," you know??
That little Cajun nurse, Louisiana Sandusky, is still around: hell, she is about the ONLY one BESIDES ma and the guys from the station house who regularly comes by to see me. I guess she'll always be around until I get out for good. She IS nice, but she is one of those Pentecostal Bible thumper type of people, and she is always praying for me. Oh, her intentions are good, but I just don't need Jesus now; people like her turn me off! Still, she IS good to talk to in a pinch, especially since I AM bored when I am NOT at work or at therapy!!
Well, there isn't that much to say, so I'll go now. Besides, my neck is getting stiff from using this pointer on my head, and my head feels like it is about fucking ready to fall off, so before my head starts rollin' around on the ground, I'll go now 'til later. I will write more when I feel like it; right now I am too depressed!
doing a job is one thing but being seriously injured doing the job is another. we just had a policeman ran over and injured here in bmore. he was being interviewed on tv and stated he couldn't wait to get back to work. i guess some people accept their destiny better than others and are willing to pay the price. good story. hugs my friend. G
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I am sorry if I haven't been able to write and let you know how I have been doing, but with my injury affecting my hands (I can't move them very well; I can move my shoulders just fine; but my hands are still pretty messed up; they are partially paralyzed, and I am still having ongoing therapy), I really haven't been able to do a lot for myself except for feeling sorry for myself.
