Brendon Michael Kincaid, aged 11, is still hanging on to life, but barely. This is his mother's latest journal entry regarding the condition of her son. Angel is Brendon's mother's name.
Journal Entry #2:
January 12, 2004, 12:42 p.m.:
This is Angel Kincaid, Brendon Michael's mom. I am at the hospital with my son, who remains in extremely critical condition with a bacterial infection. He has bacterial meningitis, and his brain is still rather swollen and now is being monitored with something called a "intercranial pressure monitoring device". He is in a coma (drug-induced; but still a coma, just the same), and there is still no word on if he will ever recover or even regain consciousness. He is lying on a bed, on his back, naked, and hooked up to what seems a million tubes: one can hardly see Brendan in the bed for all the tubes and wires that are attached to his small body. He really looks bad, and to see him being so sick and looking so helpless and vulnerable causes tears to prick my eyes and blur my vision, and I can't help BUT to cry!
There is also still the talk of brain damage and possible phyiscal disabilities that may affect Brendon when he wakes up...that is, IF he does. So things are still not very good for him at the moment, and I haven't slept all that much since he became so very sick a few days back.
Brendon Michael is my oldest child. He is 11 years old, and he is such a very loving, gentle little boy who wouldn't harm a fly; and he has had to struggle with autism and learning disabilities practically his whole life. Now he is in a hospital bed, fighting for his life; and doctors aren't really telling me a goddamn thing about what is up regarding his condition; and as his mother, I feel I have a RIGHT to know what is going on with my son or what is happening to him!
Besides Brendon, I have two other children at home, girls, to worry about: Tawnya Elaine (7) and her nine-year-old sister, Megan Rochelle. But I am having a neighbor, Mrs. Potts, watch the girls because I am stuck here at the hospital with Brendan, and I am scared to death to leave him, in case something unexpected should happen to occur. Like a few days back: I had just gone to the snack area, down the hall from the ICU area, to get me some snacks and a bottle of Coke to drink, when the Code Blue alarms sounded; and a flurry of doctors and nurses went rushing into Brendon's room. When I peeked in, Brendan was lying on the bed, shaking all over; and alarms were going off. A nurse was sticking some sort of thin, silver tube into my boy's mouth, and Brendan's face was bluer than blue; and it really scared the hell out of me. I thought my son was dying on me; and as scary as the incident had been, it only lasted for less than five minutes; and five minutes later, they had Brendan calmed down, and his seizure had ended. What had happened was that his fever had spiked; and it threw him into an unexpected seizure. Ever since that time, I have been petrified to leave the hospital and to leave Brendan.
I have been informing Mrs. Potts about Brendan's situation; and I hope that the girls aren't mad at me for not being there for them; but when their brother is so sick (and possibly dying) and is lying in the hospital, hooked up to tubes and shit, then what is a mother SUPPOSED to do? What if something were to happen to Brendan and I wasn't there?? What had I have done if Brendan had his seizure and I hadn't been at the hospital? What if he were to end up dying as a result of that seizure? What would I do if I were home with the girls, and that call came, the call that told me that Brendan was in trouble, and he may not make it? How would I have reacted to situations like these??
The neighbors all know of Brendan being sick and all; and they have been concerned; but they tell me to pray to God, and that is all well and good; but why would God allow such a thing to happen to my son? Why isn't He doing anything to help Brendan get better over his illness; why doesn't Brendan just wake up and then get all better instead of lying there in the bed, looking like he is about to die on me?? If there IS a God, He wouldn't have allowed this to happen to Brendan, and I am sorry, but I just can't handle all this religious crap right now! Brendan is in trouble, and I don't see any sign that God is even there or that He even cares!
My biggest question at the moment is: "WHERE'S GOD??? Where is God when I need Him the most??"
Powerful write, keep up the great work...
God Bless
~Michelle~
Reviewed by Floria Kelderhouse
1/13/2004
Hi Karen....very powerful write....Karen...we have actually lived this nightmare...one of our grandchildren had this illness at age of nine months....she almost died...long illness that leaves its mark...she needed therapy...had to learn to swallow all over again as she had a tube in her trachea.....horrid illness....but she lived..and today she is a healthy five year old...God does work miracles....Floria
Good story Karen, with a very good question about our creator. Sometimes he does make one wonder about how he operates. Sometimes some people question their faith when it is best to hold on to it stronger. God gave us pain so we would know when we hurt or when somethings wrong. On the same note he gave us death so we wouldn't have to lay around and suffer forever. Sometimes answers are hard to find but they are there. mlove from b , G
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Journal Entry #2:
