A woman shares her thoughts about how it is to be a lesbian.
I am NOT gay (I personally DON'T believe in that lifestyle, but I don't judge people or try to change them if they ARE gay), but I DO have friends who ARE gay; and they are people, too, and I see them as my friends; it doesn't matter ONE IOTA to me WHAT they may believe in! I accept them as PEOPLE first, and I do NOT go about trying to change their ways!
People tend to stare whenever they see me or my lover/girlfriend, Jennifer, and I together. Right away, their tongues start flapping, and we are subjected to their rudeness. They may have a problem with Jennifer Kaylin and myself being together, but we DON'T. We have a right to be together, and we are only humans, just like they are! We aren't freaks or aliens!
I met Jennifer Kaylin Steele at the bar where I work (I met her in the summer of 2002), and this summer will mark our two-year anniversary of where we have been together. Now, Jennifer IS disabled (she is paralyzed), but I look beyond her wheelchair, her paralyzed legs and hands (she is a low-quad, or a high paraplegic), and not being able to walk, and I see her as a WHOLE person. Still, she IS great to be around: she is more outgoing than I am; she has an attitude about her, and she isn't afraid to speak her mind. Me, on the other hand, I am shy, and don't trust people. Never have, never will. Oh, I DEAL with people daily at my job, but I don't blab about our lifestyle, and it is something I would much rather keep hidden; but I still see the stares or the wagging tongues whenever Jennifer or I go out in public.
There ARE people who have accepted us (Louisiana Sandusky, as one; she was a nurse who took care of Jennifer while she was in the hospital, recovering from her injuries), but most have not, and two who have NOT accepted us are my very own parents. My parents are staunch Christian "Bible thumpers", and they do NOT like the idea that their daughter (ME) is a lesbian; and they are always raggin' on me that I am going straight to hell because of my loving another woman, that my being a lesbian is a sin; and frankly, I am more than tired of hearing the same old tired song and dance from my parents. I have tried repeatedly to explain to them that Jennifer is a nice girl, that she has a good heart and wouldn't hurt a fly; but my parents absolutely REFUSE to bend; and they have since about ostracized me and cut me from their lives. I am no longer welcome in their home unless I dump Jennifer and find a guy; but how do I tell them that I am NOT looking for a man, that I have absolutely NO interest in a man's love; that Jennifer's affections are truly real, and that I am happy with Jennifer? Or that I already have found the love of my life in Jennifer?? Or that being with Jennifer somehow feels "RIGHT", and that nothing is going to change the feelings that I have for her?? Unless you have been in my shoes, or in Jennifer's, PLEASE do NOT judge us; you don't know what it is like! What is it going to take to convince my parents (or others) that I am a person too, and I am NOT to be treated like shit just because my life is so different from theirs??
I tried to talk to my parents during Christmas break, but they wouldn't return my calls; and Christmas came and went unnoticed. They didn't even have the decency to call and wish us a Merry Christmas or a Happy New Year or ask how I or Jennifer ("that girl", they referred her as) were doing; or send us a Christmas card, or NOTHING. The only one who DID call me during Christmas break was Louisiana Sandusky, and she was kind enough to invite me to her church for their Cantata. We went, but we left as quickly as it was over; we didn't stay long, for fear that people would start talking again, which is usually what happens whenever we go somewhere.
Being gay in a non-gay society (though this is changing; you see more gay couples now who have come out into the open) is quite a daunting challenge; but we feel that it CAN be done. There are successful gay marriages, successful gay people who have done very well for themselves and for society, and whatnot, but a lot of people still refuse to accept gay people or gay society as a whole; and this is why so many gays are ostracized or rebuked by society. Personally, I see NOTHING wrong with being a self-proclaimed lesbian (and neither does Jennifer), but apparently, a lot of people DO, and this is why our lifestyle is so oftentimes frowned upon.
People think we are miserable because we were unable to find a man to love us, but we aren't, really. We are, as a matter of fact, very happy; and the years we have been together have been the happiest by far for the both of us. We are both working, successful women who just happen to be openly gay, and we aren't afraid to show our affection for one another whenever the time comes for it. We aren't ashamed of ourselves or the fact that we are gay; we have accepted ourselves, and we have accepted our lesbianism, and how WE feel is what is important to us, not what others may think! We are only humans who are trying to make a living in this world, and if other people do NOT like our lifestyle, then they should keep their noses out of our business and just shut the hell up! Let us live our lives as WE see fit; we don't NEED others telling us how we should live or how we should conduct our lives! We may be openly gay, but WE are people, too, and WE deserve the SAME amount of respect and understanding as anyone else who is NOT gay!
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Reviewed by Simon Thurlow
2/11/2004
Challenging right and very well put. All people have the right to their own choices whether we agree with them or not
i don't condone the lifestyle, but would never judge a person because they are gay. it takes a strong person to admit they are gay. i applaud their courage and decision.
My site is a "HOMOPHOBIA FREE ZONE", but I cannot get the sign to upload to the site, so will have to suffice with the fact that i feel this way and live with it that way...
The first time on AD that I have seen anything regards the gay/lesbian life mentioned and glad it has been, maybe more will be forthcoming...
Karen, it takes a strong person to put their beliefs or even someone elses as you have done here, with regards a most of the time negative issue on their site, but why not, you pay for your site, where else would you put it...? Excellent story no matter who wrote it initially...Peace, Ed & Rufuz
Way too much has been written about gay people. They have been around since Bibical times. Just remember what God has said, Judge not, lest you be judged.
