A mother comes to terms with her baby daughter's potentially fatal heart defect and the fact that she may die.
I haven't slept, haven't eaten, or done much of anything, really, ever since the doctors gave me the diagnosis of Heather's heart ailment.
My little baby girl, Heather Lindsey, is currently in the hospital; and the hospital is where I have been since she first became sick a few days after she had been born. She is now only a baby of three months; but she has had to struggle for her life ever since just a few days after her birth. She was born apparently healthy and free from any problems, but a few days later, she started having problems with her breathing, and it only got worse; and her heart started beating erratically, which only made her breathing problems all the more serious. Now she is fighting for every breath, her skin has turned a horrible blue color, and it is clear that her heart is failing. There is nothing much that the doctors can do except try to make her comfortable and try to ease her erratic heart rate or her breathing problems.
It is so hard seeing my baby girl lying there in the NICU, hooked up to a whole forest of tubes; and not knowing whether she is going to survive the day, the next hour, the next MINUTE. She was diagnosed with a rare and potentially life-threatening heart ailment, and even with all they are trying to do to help, she still continues to battle for her life and continues to rely on a respirator to help her breathe. I keep hoping that somehow a Miracle will occur or that we'll emerge from this nightmare, but so far, nothing has happened, and my daughter continues to hang on to life by a precious single thread; and it only seems that this thread is unraveling. I don't see any improvement in my little baby's condition, and this is what is most frustrating to me. Just today, in fact, Dr. Emmons, her primary physician, asked me if I wanted her to die, and how we should go about in letting her die; and it seemed that it took me completely off guard. It seemed so harsh, so cold, and so shocking, I am still reeling whenever I think of it. I don't know why he didn't say something like "How can we help her get better?" or "What do you think we should do to ease her discomfort?"; instead, he asks me a question about "How do you want her to die?", like he is giving up any hope in helping her get better; and it angered me. I don't know what he is thinking or what he is going to do, but I don't WANT him to help my daughter die. I want him to help my daughter LIVE; she is a baby, and she DESERVES to have a chance at life!
~To be continued.~
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Reviewed by Simon Thurlow
2/29/2004
I know somebody who had such a decision to make. This was a very touching start to your story
(((Karen))))
This is an excellent story...Heartbreaking
God Bless
~Michelle~
Reviewed by P. Michaels
2/18/2004
Karen,
Excellent, but a very dismal story about watching your child or loved one die. Such a hard thing to do. All possiblities to save the life should be explored. But there should be a point in time, when the mother won't want her baby to suffer anymore, when she realizes that the baby has suffered enough, and she stops caring so much about her own personal joy or loss.
This heartwrenching story happens in hospitals almost every day. That's why I have a living will to make decisions easier. But with a young ones everything possible should be tried to save them.
excellent, heartrending story of a decision i would not ever want to face. would like to see how this resolves. look forward to the continuation. well written, capturing the drama, anger and fear perfectly. BRAVA!!
A poignant story about letting go of a narcissist in your life. Have you ever been attacked FULL force by a narcissist? It's the closest thing to being stabbed over and over in the back.
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I haven't slept, haven't eaten, or done much of anything, really, ever since the doctors gave me the diagnosis of Heather's heart ailment.
