Nick finally forced himself to go to the hospital, and check on Gary. Since his partner had been shot, he had been struggling with guilt. If only he had covered him better, maybe he would not have been shot, maybe if is had warned him sooner of the danger Gary might be at home right now, not fighting for his life in the hospital. Why couldn’t he be the one to get shot, not Gary. Nick didn’t have near as much to lose as Gary. He knew Abby had to be worried sick. Gary and Abby were newly married, and very much in love. If Gary didn’t make it through this, Nick knew he would never forgive himself. Rounding a corner, Nick spotted Abby in the ICU waiting room, Kim at her side and headed straight toward the two women.
Gary slowly came out of the fog, and fought to regain his bearings. People in white uniforms rushed about outside the small cubicle, and slowly it struck him he was in the hospital. Pain radiated though his chest when he tried to pick up his arm, clearing all fog from his mind, as he remembered getting shot. He and Nick had been pursuing an escaping bank robber, when the guy had turned and started firing on them. “You have to take care of Abby if something happens to me.” Gary gasped as Nick crouched over him. “You’re going to be fine man, not going anywhere. I’m going to make sure of it.” Nick promised, watching as the suspect fled, but refusing to leave Gary alone. When the sound of approaching sirens met Nick’s ears, he had never been so relived in his life.
“What happened, Nick?” Abby asked eagerly, once he was seated in front of her. Nick gently recounted the events of the call out of the robbery. “Since it happened, I have just felt so guilty about Gary getting hurt, I couldn’t make myself face you. I wouldn’t blame you for being mad at me. I failed Gary and you.” Nick said regretfully. Abby reached out, and gently placed her hand over Nick. “I don’t blame you for what happened. You did the best you could, I am sure of it, but I can also understand you feeling guilty. Being partners mean you watch each other’s backs, and when your partner gets hurt, it feels like you have failed.” She said softly. “I’m very glad you were there, otherwise Gary might have died, you really saved his life, not the other way around.”
“Your husband is awake, asking to see you. We can’t get him to wait until the visiting hour.” Abby was so absorbed in her conversation with Nick she had not even heard the nurse approaching. When Abby arrived in the ICU ward, she found Gary weakly fighting two nurses to sit up. “I have to see my wife right now!” He kept repeating. Approaching the bed, she gently touched one of the nurses on the shoulder. When Gary spotted her he stopped struggling. Relaxing against the pillows, he reached out to her with his good arm. Totally spent from struggling, Gary fought to speak. “Don’t try to speak.” Abby said, placing a finger on his lips. “I had to see you and make sure were really ok.” Gary was finally able to say, after taking several moments to catch his breath. “I’m fine honey you don’t have to worry about me. Just worry about getting well.” Abby tried to soothe Gary. When he fell back to sleep, Abby stayed beside him, until a nurse informed her she needed to return to the waiting room, and she could come back at the next visiting hour.
When Abby returned to the waiting room Nick and Kim were waiting anxiously. “He just had to make sure I was really okay.” Abby said, as she sat down beside Kim. “He’s going to be okay. ” Kim tried to reassure her.
The struggle took a toll on Gary. He didn’t wake up again for the rest of the day. During one of the visiting times, Nick and Kim found themselves alone in the waiting room. Silence hung heavy, until Kim broke into Nick’s thoughts with a question. Standing, she said, “I think I am going to get some coffee, you want some?”
“No Thanks” he returned, “but I will walk with you, if you don’t mind. I could use the exercise.” Nick said as he rose and followed her out of the waiting room.
“Gary, please wake up, honey.” Abby quietly pleaded but was discouraged when no response came from her unconscious husband. Laying her head down on the side of the bed, Abby allowed the tears she had kept pent up since Gary had been injured. Silently she prayed, her heart speaking the fears she would never allow her past her lips. When the monitors keep Gary alive began alarm Abby was jerked out of her thoughts. She found herself gently moved out of the way as nurses and doctors rushed in and began working to bring Gary back. Abby didn’t resist as a nurse led her back to the waiting room, telling her they would let her know something soon about Gary. Abby walked numbly to a chair and sank into it.
When Kim saw Abby wilted in the chair her heart dropped into her stomach. Rushing to her friend, she braced for the worst. “What’s going on? How’s Gary?” She asked, forcing her voice to stay even. “He coded.” Abby whispered as tears chased each other down her cheeks. “The nurse said they would let me know something soon, but that was thirty minutes ago. I don’t think he made it, and they just don’t want to tell me.” Abby said between sobs. At that moment, Kim saw the doors of the ICU open, and a scrub-clad doctor emerge. His expression was not encouraging, and Kim found herself fight back tears even before he spoke. “Your husband has an infection in his chest cavity, which caused the cardiac arrest. He is stable again, and we started him on strong antibiotics to fight off the infection. Abby exhaled, relief filling her heart. “Thank you.” Was all she was able to say. The doctor smiled before leaving the two women alone.
“It just wasn’t his time to go.” Abby said, wiping the tears from her eyes, and reaching for a tissue. “Yeah, God is watching out for him.” Kim said, also taking a tissue.
When Gary awoke, his chest hurt, and he felt like he had been run over by a truck. “You’re awake.” Gary had not noticed the nurse standing nearby, and was started out of the fog that clouded his mind. “Where is my wife?” Gary wanted to know. “She’s out in the waiting room, you can see her during the next visiting time.” The nurse said, while checking the IV hanging above Gary’s head. He wanted to insist on seeing Abby, but the blackness began swallowing him again, and Gary was too weak to resist.
When Abby saw the doctor approaching a few hours later, She braced for more bad news, her heart sinking. “I just examined your husband,” The doctor began “He is doing remarkably well. I think in the next few days we will be able to move him out of the ICU. The infection is retreating, and his vitals are stable.” The relief Abby felt was almost tangible. After the doctor left, Abby decided to take a walk, to clear her head, and stretch her legs. For the first time since Gary had been shot, Abby allowed herself to relax. God was watching out for them, and wouldn’t let anything happen to Gary. “Why did I ever doubt you?” Abby prayed as she walked. “I should have known you wouldn’t let anything happen to Gary. After all the times you have brought me out safely, my faith should be stronger.” She chided herself silently. Maybe one day I will learn to trust You like the Father you are.“ she said aloud.
Abby had insisted Kim go back to work Monday morning, and she appeared in as at the end of her shift, eager for an update. “He’s doing well,” Abby reported and recounted what the doctor had told her earlier in the day. “He really scared us for a while, but now he seems to be on the right track.” Kim said relieved.
“This is nice.” Abby said when she entered Gary’s room on Wednesday afternoon. “Yeah,” Gary returned “But the best part is you can in here all the time, not just during the visit hours.” Going over to the bed, Abby leaned down and kissed Gary on the cheek. “Do you need anything?” She asked. “If I need anything we can call the nurse, just come sit by me. I have missed having you around.” Gary said, patting the edge of the bed. “It was so hard when I could only see you every few hours” Abby admitted. A knock on the door brought both of them back to the present. “Am I interrupting? Nick said poking his head in the door. “Of course you are, but come in anyway.” Gary said chuckling. “How are you doing, buddy?” Nick asked while reaching out to shake Gary’s hand. “Can’t complain.” Gary returned. “At least I am out of ICU.” A few minutes later another knock sounded at the door, and Kim entered. “I was just on my lunch break, and thought I would stop in for a minute. Glad to see you out of ICU, Gary. I got scared when I didn’t find Abby in the waiting room, until I found out you had been moved up here.” She said while taking a seat. “We haven’t even been in this room ten minutes. I was going to call you as soon as we were settled” Abby told her. “Sure, you were going to keep Gary to yourself as long as you could!” Kim said laughing. “Is that a crime, for me to want to keep my husband to myself? Abby returned.
Later as Abby was making up the couch Gary called her over to him, and drew her on the bed beside him. “I want you to sleep right here beside me, not on the couch.” He said. “Are you sure? You would probably sleep better alone, and I would be afraid of hurting you if I moved.” Abby said hesitantly. “I’m sure, I won’t sleep without you beside me.”
The next day, Nick stood in front of the door to Gary’s room, trying to convince himself to knock. He owned Gary an apology, which he would not want to hear. For Nick’s own peace of mind, he had to do this. When he entered, Nick found Gary and Abby still asleep, side-by-side in the bed. He was about to back quietly out of the room when Gary’s eyes opened. “Hey.” He quietly greeted him. “ I was just checking in on you, I can come back later, I know you are both worn out.” Nick said, already backing out of the room. “No, stay please. What’s up?” Gary insisted. “We need to talk, and even though I know you aren’t going to want to hear what I have to say, please don’t interrupt me. I need to say this, if only for my own peace of mind.” Nick said. Gary didn’t respond, only nodding. Taking a deep breath, Nick forced himself to continue. “I know you probably don’t see it this way, but you getting shot was my fault. If I had covered you better, done my job it would have never happened. I owe you an apology for this. I wouldn’t blame you if you were mad, or even refused to forgive me.” Nick said. “I know I will never forgive myself, but I have to know if you going to forgive me.” “Nick, you shouldn’t beat yourself up over this. The only one who caused this was the creep who actually shot me. I’m not mad at you at all. I did get mad at God, for allowing this to happen, but now I see even in this He has a plan, He was watching out for me the whole time, and He will never let anything bad happen to me. God didn’t give me a wife, and chance at a future with her, just to snatch it all away again. He knows what he is doing. You are a great cop, and should never think otherwise. I don’t want you kicking yourself around about this anymore. You don’t need to.” Gary tone was firm, not inviting discussion. Both men were quiet for a while, everything had been said.
Abby awoke to bright sunshine on her face, and Gary’s arm. Being near him always made Abby feel safe, and she realized just how much she had missed it while he was in ICU. Tilting her head up, Abby found Gary watching her. “Good morning.” He said warmly. “How did you sleep? She said sitting up on the edge of the bed. “Good, but I always do when you are beside me.” He returned. Abby stomach rumbled, repeating its need for food, which reminded her why she woke up. “I’m hungry, how about you?” Abby asked while searching around for the shoes she had kicked off before climbing into the bed the night before. “I’m hungry for something other than hospital food.” Gary responded. “What do you want? I could go out and get it.” Abby returned. “What would you think of eating breakfast at home” The voice started Abby and Gary, who turned to see Doctor Lane, the surgeon, standing in the door of Gary’s room. “Eating at home would be great.” Gary said, still trying to recover. “We’re letting you go home today. The papers are in the works right now, just thought I would come down and let you know.”
Abby’s hand shook as she stared down at the pregnancy test in her hand. The result had not been what she was expecting. In all of the stress of Gary’s injury Abby had not realized when the time for her cycle had come and gone unnoticed. Paging through her calendar, Abby had seen the note, and for a moment her heart stopped cold, then she tried to explain it away by telling herself the stress had caused her to skip. Several days later, still bothered, Abby bought the test, to help convince herself she could not be pregnant. Abby stood frozen, not believing what she saw. “I’m having a baby.” she whispered to no one in particular. When Gary came to check on her a few minutes later, he found her standing in the middle of the bathroom, talking quietly to herself. Glancing around her, he spotted the test in her hands. Gently taking he stared down in amazement. “Does the mean what I think it mean?” He asked hopefully. “I’m pregnant.” Abby said distracted. “This is great!” Gary said eagerly. Abby could tell he was already imagining playing baseball and football in the backyard by the far off look in his eye. “It might be a false positive, at least I am hoping so.” Abby said, pulling him out of the far off place. “Are you not happy about this?” Gary asked concern in his tone. “You have to admit right now would not be the best time for me to be pregnant. There is so much going on, you are still recovering, and I am trying to catch up at work, it’s just not a good time. We won’t know for sure until I see a doctor, so please just try to resist too much planning, until we can be certain.” Gary gently backed Abby up to his chest then brought both arms around her shoulders, letting his hands rest on her abdomen. “If you are pregnant, He or she is a part of God’s plan.” Gary whispered in her ear.
“I might be pregnant.” Abby told Kim over lunch the next day. “I am so happy for you!” Kim almost yelled. Her excitement was curbed when she realized Abby was staring down at her plate, and picking at the food on it. “What’s wrong? I would have thought you would be ecstatic too.” Her friend was quiet for a moment before revealing her feelings. “I just don’t think right now is the best time to be having a baby. Gary is still a long way from well, it is going to be months before he can go back to work, and I am about to drown in work, trying to catch up from all the time I was staying with Gary. I am just not sure I can handle it all. Taking more time off is out of the question, I would start losing patients if I am away from work any more.” She cried. “Everything is going to be ok. God knows what he’s doing, Abby.” Kim tried to comfort her. “Gary said the same thing, but I am not sure I believe it. I just don’t want to have a baby right now.” Abby returned.
Abby returned from lunch, her heart full of questions, and fears. Finding Gary asleep in his chair in the living room, Abby quietly made her way upstairs to the bedroom. After locking the door behind her, Abby fell on the bed, tears already filling her eyes. “Why are you doing this right now?” She began to pray. “I have my hands full taking care of Gary, and holding down my job. Why couldn’t you wait until I was more prepared?” Abby wept, staring at the ceiling. “I’m trying to trust you with this, but I’m so confused right now.” She said with a sigh. “I guess all I can do is trust you, because I have no control whatsoever what will happen, as much as I would like to.” Peace filled Abby’s heart as she left the bedroom to go on with her day. She had things to do, no need to mope around the house over things she could not change.
