A view on the outside world from one who is on the inside, in this case, a child who is in special education classes. (This is in conjunction with the story I did yesterday called "The Retard Bus...".)
I would give anything to be like the other kids at school. There isn't a day where I don't wish I could walk or not have to use this darned old wheelchair or be able to see or hear as well as anyone else or not have to wear these stupid glasses! I wish I could do more for myself instead of having to rely on other kids or the teachers to help me with things, and I wish I could get through a whole day without worrying whether I am going to have another one of my seizures or something.
But the kids see me, in my wheelchair, with my braces, or with my hearing aids or thick glasses; and right away, they have to start making comments or making fun; and while the teasing isn't nearly as bad as it once was before I started getting the special extra help after school, I still can't get through an entire day without someone picking on me. I don't know what I have done to deserve this heck, and I wish kids would stop it because teasing isn't nice, and I hate having to cry just about every day! I also hate it when they call me a "Cry Baby" and tell me to grow up.
I wish I COULD grow up. But the fact is, I won't get TO grow up. See, I am dying of muscular dystrophy, which is the reason I am in this wheelchair and can't walk all that much unless it is for shorter trips (and then it's on crutches). I have weak muscles, and I get tired so fast; and there is nothing really that can be done to stop the disease from getting worse. Every day it gets harder and harder for me to do things, and I then get good and mad because I am just a kid now, and I am NOT ready to die! I want to be able to go on a date or have a girlfriend or learn to drive a car (preferably a HUMMER!) or go to my senior prom or graduate from high school; but no, thanks to this stupid disease of mine, I won't get that chance, and it really makes me good and angry inside. Then people wonder why I am so mad or moody a lot of the time!
In addition to my stupid muscular dystrophy, I am hard of hearing and can't see well (I had meningitis as a baby, and it damaged my hearing and my sight; I have since had meningitis a second time, when I was six), and I also have seizures. I have epilepsy, and I got it after I had meningitis the first time. (That was a bad year for me.) I also have dyslexia, which means I have trouble reading or see certain letters or numbers backwards or mixed up; and it makes it very hard for me to learn; but I am now getting help with that, and school is easier for me now than it was; but I still have a hard time at times, and it is really a big pain in my butt! I am in a class for kids with different disabilities; and it is embarrassing when I need help because I feel that I am taking away from the needs of the other kids; and school is just so darned hard for me a lot of the time! I wish I could take NORMAL kid classes; it gets tiring having to look at other disabled kids or extra teachers day after day!! And the classes are just TOO easy for me, and I feel like I am not really learning anything new!
I wish kids would accept me as a KID, and not like a DISABLED kid; I wish they wouldn't see my disabilities first before they see me or get a chance to know me. Right away, they think I am stupid or don't know anything, and they don't think I have any feelings. They think that just because I am in a wheelchair or can't see or hear good, I don't know anything, and they call me "Retardo" or "Stupid" or "Dummy", and it really hurts my feelings. I am a kid, too, just like they are, and I bet if I made fun of THEM, they wouldn't like it, not ONE bit! HOW do they think it makes ME feel when they laugh at me or call me hurtful names?? How would THEY like it if I did the same thing to them?? I wish they could be in MY shoes for once and see what it is like having to live life sitting in a wheelchair for hours on end, or having people have to carry you to the bathroom and help you with your toilet, or have people help you with your hair or teeth because your arms don't work well enough to be able to do these things for yourself. Well, my friends, that is how it is with me, and I also need help with getting dressed or getting to and from my bed; and I also need help getting turned over in bed; if I don't get turned over every so often I can get bad sores on my body, and if they get infected, I will have to go into the hospital. That has happened before, twice, and it is NOT fun!!
It also doesn't take much to get me tired or out of breath; and when this happens, I have to use oxygen. I have a portable oxygen machine that I can take with me whenever I go someplace; and not being able to breathe at times is the PITS!! It only means my disease is getting worse; and I HATE IT!!!
I see the other kids in school, running around like cheetahs, laughing with their friends, playing sports, swimming, or having fun; and all I get to do is sit in my stupid wheelchair and look bored (unless I go to Adapted P.E.; then I get to do things other kids do; I just do it differently, or unless I play baseball on my Little League team, the Challengers, which is a team made up of disabled kids; and I always have a lot of fun!), or have people stare at me some more. That is another thing I hate. People staring at me or making stupid comments or comments that hurt my feelings. Don't they know that I am a person too, and that I have feelings?? I didn't ask to be this way; it just happened, and I wish all this stuff would just go away so I could be NORMAL for once!
the opening line grabs the reader and compells them to continue and makes them see what a child with a disability feels...you've conveyed the sadness of wishing they were accepted for whom they are effectively and courageously. BRAVA! exceptionally well done!
Spoken Word
This CD will touch the deepest inner part of your humanness and spirit, you will never be the same after listening to the depths of struggle, the reality of life, the touching voice of truth. It will shock you, move you to tears. It w
I would give anything to be like the other kids at school. There isn't a day where I don't wish I could walk or not have to use this darned old wheelchair or be able to see or hear as well as anyone else or not have to wear these stupid glasses! I wish I could do more for myself instead of having to rely on other kids or the teachers to help me with things, and I wish I could get through a whole day without worrying whether I am going to have another one of my seizures or something.
