Louisiana writes her friend in Alaska a letter after learning that her friend has a pinched nerve in her back. She tries to offer her Christian-style, compassionate advice on how to deal with her situation, and she lets Jenna know that she isn't alone in her sufferings.
Wednesday, July 7, 2004~
Dear Jenna:
I was so aggrieved to learn of your situation. I know how pinched nerves feel; I have had several rounds of them, and they were NOT fun AT all! Couple that with sciatica, and you can only partially imagine what I have had to endure ever since my back troubles started (and I have had to endure back troubles most of my life, as you are well aware of). I have had surgery and therapy to treat the pinched nerves, and both therapy and surgery (and the long recovery process) proved to be hell; but I endured as best as I possibly could.
I haven't had any trouble with pinched nerves lately (thank GOD!), but I am waiting for that preverbial other shoe to drop and the nerve to start acting up; it is like I am living with a ticking time bomb, and I DON'T like it! This is why I rely on God to get me through my bad pain days, and I think that He is the One who has kept me from having any more flareups of pinched nerves, be it in my neck, shoulder, or back. The past several years have been total bliss for me because I haven't had any flareups of my nerves giving me trouble; and for that I can thank God! (Now if only He can do something to alleviate the sciatica; but in a way that is MY fault because when it comes to back surgery I am a regular chicken! I already have had it once [nearly wound up a paraplegic for life!], and I don't want to subject myself to that ever again! The surgery was bad enough, but the long recovery process and then the therapy and rehab proved to be more than I could take!!)
When Michael called, he sounded so sad and down in the dumps. I don't blame him: he has had to spend his time taking care of you, and it is hard on him because he can't do what he wants or when he wants because of the demands on your behalf. I know it isn't your fault, but I can kind of understand where he is coming from because when one is sick, hurt, or suffering, it is hard not only on the patient, but on the caregiver; and after a while, he or she starts blaming themselves for their loved one's situation. He is probably frustrated on top of being angry or upset because your needs take precidence over his life, and he can't get out or do the things he once did prior to your coming home from the hospital earlier this year. This is probably why he seems so angry or moody a lot of the time.
I am sure that he wishes that you were able to do more for yourself or that he wishes that he could do more for you to ease your pain or suffering; but he can't, so this is why he is the way he is. I have been there too, from when Bill has had past hospitalizations and his back surgeries (both failed; he is now having more problems than ever; he can't get any relief from the pain in his back, and now he is using a wheelchair on longer trips and his crutches for shorter trips). I have had to do everything for him while he was recovering, and trying to raise a gaggle of kids and trying to tend to my recovering husband only has made my own health worse; and now I am paying the price. He is now recovered, but my health has worsened, and now we both have to deal with the twin demons of ongoing pain and degeneration of our spines and joints. We both have osteoarthritis and degenerative disc disease; and unless one of us decides to do something about it, we will end up in wheelchairs in about ten years or so.
I also could help my back by having my breasts reduced, but like you, I am chicken of the pain, and unfortunately, pain is something I have had to learn to live with and tolerate as best as I possibly can. So I just bite my tongue, grit my teeth, and bear the pain as best as I can, and so does Bill.
No, having a whole gaggle of children with special needs does NOTHING to lighten our load; but God provides somehow, and we are able to successfully raise our large multicultural family, and prayers and support from friends, co-workers, and family help tremendously, as does the church. I don't know where Bill or I would be without our family, our kids, our church family, or our co-workers, as well as our friends; we would be up the creek without a paddle, that is for DARN sure!! This is how we get through our days, even with the pain that both my husband and myself have to put up with!
Anyway, Jenna, it is okay to feel scared or concerned about the thought of further disability or hospitalizations or surgeries: I have been there, and I know exactly what you are going through! I really do! Don't worry if people laugh or call you a coward: you are a lot braver than you think you are, and you have courageously come through some of the worst trials of your life; and you are a better and stronger person because of it! It is okay to feel "weak" when things threaten to overwhelm you; it doesn't make you a bad person! We ALL have our moments of weakness, even I do (and I am probably one of the strongest people around!!)!
If you ever want to email me or talk about your situation, or want me to pray with you about it (even though I know you don't really believe!), feel free to contact me. I will be there for you; if not I will MAKE time to make myself available to you! Nobody should have to face something like what you are currently experiencing alone! And I intend to show my friends who are suffering or in pain that I am THERE for them, and that I CARE!
I love you, Jenna, and I hope that your troubles end soon! I will call CCAofG and tell them of your situation (that is, if it is okay with you and Michael first!), and we will put you both on our prayer chain! God bless you both, and please do keep us informed regarding your situation!
~As always,
Love in His Most Precious Name,
Your friend in Tennessee, Louisiana (and Bill) Sandusky (and Family).
I'm Baaaaaaaaaack!!!! Aren't you happy. I will try to catch up on my reviews in the coming weeks. Loved reading this uplifting write. It was one of your best in a while!
A wicked Cajun Fairy named Robes Pierre entered the impenetrable Magical doll land of Sha Bebe. Queen Faustina, the ruler of the doll land, thought she had destroyed him, but he's back! Will the doll land survive his evil ways?
It's almost Christmas. Lynn Basil is writing her last book about a secret entrance into the magical doll land of Sha Bebe that she loves so much. Bagannos have taken over the world! Lynn finally meets her dolls in real life. Can she write in a Secret
Let this coming of age story of a boy named Bean take you back to a simple time. Set in a small southern town in the 1960's, encircled by a river and gleaming white cotton fields.
Wednesday, July 7, 2004~
