A mother from Texas writes a letter to another mother in Tennessee after reading an article about her family.
August 10, 2004 (Tuesday):
Dear Ms. Sandusky:
My name is Diane Renee' Aguilar, and I am an adoptive mother. You do not know me; but I decided to write to you after reading an article in our local paper that was about you and your family. I was moved by the article, and after reading it, I felt compelled to write to you and tell you about MY family.
I and my husband, Hildago, have six children, which is probably a drop in the bucket compared to your brood; but still, the kids do keep us busy! We have three boys, and we have three girls, and our kids are ages 3, 4, 6 (the boys), 7, 9, and 13 (the girls).
All are also special needs. The youngest boy, Humberto, Jr., has asthma and allergies really bad, and he has been in and out of hospitals ever since we adopted him last year from Chile; but he has been a delightful child with a winning smile and an exhuberant personality.
After Humberto (we call him "Berto" for short), there's Rico. Rico, who came to us from Sao Paulo, Brazil, two years back, has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair. He can't talk, and doctors don't know if he will ever walk on his own: his body is just too involved with spasms due to the cerebral palsy, and there's some speculation that he may also be mentally disabled as well. He is four, as I just said, but he is more like a baby. He wears diapers, and he isn't toilet-trained, and he can't feed himself without our help. But he is still a very happy child who laughs all the time; and we can't imagine our lives (or our home) without him!
Our oldest son, Chico, is six, and he was born with spina bifida. At school, or when he is out, he uses his wheelchair, but at home, or for short trips, he walks on forearm crutches. He is very fast, even with his crutches or his wheelchair, and whenever they see him coming, people scatter! He came to us three years ago from Argentina, and he has since learned English and has mastered the language beautifully!
Now on to the girls.
Our youngest daughter, Magdelina (we call her Magda for short), is seven, and she is deaf and mute; but she is otherwise in perfect health. She is very smart, and she is very good with her little brothers; you should see her with them! It would make your heart sing with joy! She is such a caring and compassionate little girl, and we couldn't have asked for a better daughter! Our Magda came to us four years ago from Honduras, and she is a beauty with her knee-length, thick, dark hair and huge, expressive dark eyes! She is bound to have all the boys chasing after her by the time she becomes a teenager!
After Magdelina is Negra, who is nine. Negra is from Africa, our only non-Latina child; but she is so beautiful with her dark skin, amber eyes, and curly, black head of hair! She came to us six years ago from Kenya, in East Africa, and she has assimilated herself into our family (and culture) beautifully! She speaks Spanish and English perfectly, and she is also teaching us Swahili, which is her native language! She is a very smart girl!
Sadly, though, Negra is blind, and many people, upon finding that out, soon turn uncomfortable because she looks and acts so--normal!--, but she refuses to let her visual handicap get the best of her. She gets around so well, and she refuses to use a cane or even a seeing eye dog because she wants to be accepted, and she doesn't want to "look" disabled. So she'd much rather go without the dog or the cane. She is very stubborn (maybe it is due to her Maasai heritage; I don't know), but she is still a delightful child, nevertheless.
Our oldest child is thirteen; and that is Rosita. Rosita was born with a rare chromosomal disorder that has left her unable to care for herself; and she is severely disabled. She can't talk or walk, or do anything for herself, and it is full-time job trying to take care of not only HER needs, but also the needs and concerns of Chico, Rico, Humberto, Magda, and Negra. Rosita is home for the summer while her school is out, but in a few weeks, she will be leaving us and will be going to her school in Austin. It is a school for severely disabled kids like herself, and while we do miss her, we know that her school helps her to assimilate herself in a nondisabled world; and it gives us a much needed break. Whenever school starts, we can't help but get a little teary. Rosita came to us five years ago from Guatemala, and she has been both a delight and a challenge to our family, especially when she is home.
I felt compelled to write to you after I read an article in our paper about your family; and the article stated that you wrote a book about your family. Is that correct? If so, I would love to obtain a copy of your book and read your story; you sound like you have a very interesting family! I would love to write a book myself about my OWN family, but time and demands prohibit such activities; and so I must carry on and take care of my kids and mi esposo (husband in Spanish).
We live in Del Rio, Texas, which is in southwest Texas. Have you ever been there? If not, it is a nice place, and we don't have any problems. How long have you lived in Nashville? Have you lived in Nashville all your life, or are you from another part of Tennessee? Are you Hispanic? You look it with your long, dark mane of hair and your dark eyes and skin tone! I think you are very beautiful, and you have such a lovely looking family! So many different colors of faces, and so many happy children! How DO you do it?? I would go CRAZY trying to care for THAT many kids! (I certainly hope that you have help; Lord knows, you NEED it!)
Well, Louisiana, I must run along now. Berto and Chico are fighting over the remote control HUMMER again, and Rosita just did a number in her diapers, and she is starting to smell pretty ripe! I do hope you write back to me; I would love to hear from a fellow adoptive mother because I have some issues that I need to have discussed, and you seemed like the type of person who might know a thing or two about child behavior, development, and so forth! (I read in your article that you work in a hospital. Are you a doctor?) Until I hear from you, take care, and God bless you!
Most sincerely yours,
A new friend in Del Rio, Texas, Diane R. Aguilar, mother to 6 children with special needs.
It's almost Christmas. Lynn Basil is writing her last book about a secret entrance into the magical doll land of Sha Bebe that she loves so much. Bagannos have taken over the world! Lynn finally meets her dolls in real life. Can she write in a Secret
August 10, 2004 (Tuesday):
