Louisiana Sandusky writes a woman in Arizona after the woman writes her a letter, asking her for parental advice. She has one son, aged six, and two newly adopted children (a boy and a girl) from Korea, and she is having problems.
Saturday, September 18, 2004, 2:36 p.m., C.S.T.~
Dear Greta:
I am so glad that you took the time to write to me. Thank you for writing!
I am so happy for you; congratulations on the additions of your two new children from Korea! That is so wonderful! But I am sorry you are having a hard time with them; but things like this take time. You can't expect them to be fully adjusted to an alien world the minute they arrive! Just be patient; with perseverance and hope, they will learn to adjust, and pretty soon, they will be acting like normal preschoolers! Just keep working with them, and never give up hope!
I have several Korean-born children as you know (Jodie, Sun-Hee, Summer Song, Camey, and Tammi), and it took time for them to adjust when they first came to America. It was a struggle for them to learn English, and it was a struggle for them to try to get used to the breakneck pace that America is so well known for, and it was also a struggle for them to learn to accept both Bill and myself (and their siblings, too, for that matter!), but eventually, things fell into place, and my Korean contigent assimilated themselves into the family, and they are all now doing just fine!
By the way, Jodie, Sun-Hee, Camey, Tammi, and Summer Song were all born in South Korea; they were all born in or around Seoul, South Korea. You were wondering where my Korean-born children came from, so now you know!
Now, on to the Korean-English dictionary. Any good bookstore should have one; all you have to do is look where the dictionaries are, or look under "Foreign Languages". Chances are, you will find the dictionary there. I got mine when I found out that we were getting kids from Korea; and we haven't been sorry because it was through this little book that we learned to communicate with each other!
As for support groups, there's a wealth of them if you know just where to look. I am a member of a Tennessee-based organization for adoptive parents, and I also have gotten a plethora of information from the adoption agencies that we have worked with over the years. We adopted our kids through agencies like Cradle of Hope, Holt International, Catholic Children's Charities, AASK (Aid To The Adoption of Special Kids), Spence-Chapin, and WACAP; and they have all helped in more ways than we dreamed possible. We also have our church, Christ Community Assembly of God, to help us, and there are families within our congregation that have adopted children (among them, our senior pastor!); they have helped us as well. All you have to do is ask, do a little research (okay, a LOT of research! LOL), and go on from there!
I am sorry that your oldest son, Peter, is having such a hard time. Our kids that came before the flood (Johnny and Ronee'; yes, believe it or not, we were a small family once! LOL) were jealous of the newcomers, but in time, they learned to adjust to one another, and now they get along just beautifully (MOST of the time; there ARE times where they want to kill one another! LOL)! Just tell Peter that it is okay to feel sad or angry, and give him the extra one-on-one whenever you can! Having new kids join the family, whether it is through adoption or having a baby, takes time, and it is a big adjustment for all involved. Pretty soon, when Peter sees that you love him just as much as his new brother and sister, he should start to settle down, and he will go back to the lovable, obedient son he was prior to the additions of Nicholas and Nichole! Best of all, he should start showing his love and affections towards his younger siblings, and things should start to settle! Just give it time!
If Peter (or for that matter, YOU!) continue TO have problems, the best advice I can suggest is family counseling. Or, if you can't afford that, talk to your doctor or your clergyman. I am sure that they can give you helpful and useful suggestions to help you through this rough time. Or you can email me; I will be more than happy to answer any questions you may have because I HAVE been there! You are NOT alone; there are many people who have gone through what you are going through now! It's only natural to feel scared; it's a part of the parenting process!
I wish you the best of luck in all that you do! Just don't give up, and continue to do as you are doing now for the children! Again, congratulations on your new additions from Korea, and may you continue to seek the support that you need! Help IS out there, if you just know where to look!
~All the best,
Your new friend in Tennessee, Louisiana Mayrah Sandusky. :)
P.S.: I loved the picture of the Golden Lab; he looks just like my son Johnny's dog, "Ginger"! So sorry you lost "Daisy" when you were a child; that must have been heartbreaking! In the meantime, enjoy a picture of my own dog, "Cajun Gold". She's a pomeranian, and she has Attitude! LOL She's quite a character!
It's almost Christmas. Lynn Basil is writing her last book about a secret entrance into the magical doll land of Sha Bebe that she loves so much. Bagannos have taken over the world! Lynn finally meets her dolls in real life. Can she write in a Secret
A wicked Cajun Fairy named Robes Pierre entered the impenetrable Magical doll land of Sha Bebe. Queen Faustina, the ruler of the doll land, thought she had destroyed him, but he's back! Will the doll land survive his evil ways?
Let this coming of age story of a boy named Bean take you back to a simple time. Set in a small southern town in the 1960's, encircled by a river and gleaming white cotton fields.
Saturday, September 18, 2004, 2:36 p.m., C.S.T.~
