A young girl writes a letter to God after she has had a bad day.
Dear God:
This is your Child, Ronee' Le-Anne. I am not having a good day today; and I am really depressed.
First of all, God, I am home from school. I am flaring pretty big time today, and I am nauseated and just generally feel horrible! All I want to do is lie around in bed and feel sorry for myself! I didn't go to school today because this morning I was throwing up, but I haven't gotten sick since that time; but I still feel like I have to barf. NOT a fun feeling to have! Secondly, my joints are giving me what for, and it feels like someone is using me for a punching bag: I hurt all over, and the joints in my hands (fingers, knuckles) are all swollen up and tender to the touch, plus they look like they are angry: they are really red; really painful to look at! OW!
Secondly, God, I got into a big fight with my sister, Gemini, and she got mad and she told me that she hated me. I was really hurt when she said that; it was like she slapped me, and ever since, I can't seem to stop crying. She is still mad at me, and she won't even look, let alone, talk with me! I don't know what her problem was; but I didn't do anything wrong to cause her to say that! I only wanted to borrow her perfume, and she got mad, and she told me to stop taking her stuff without asking; and I only wanted to wear some of her perfume because it smelled so good! Is that enough to cause her to say that to me?? (This happened last night, after we got back from church.)
I don't know what is wrong with me: it seems that any little thing can cause me to start crying. It's bad enough I have to live with these stupid disabilities of mine each and every day, and at times, I HATE having to use my crutches or wearing these stupid braces on my legs! I hate it when people stare or make mean comments to me, and I hate it whenever they tease me or tell me to stop being such a slowpoke and then push me out of the way when they decide that they have had enough waiting on my behalf! I can't help it if I am slower than most kids, especially when my arthritis is acting up! I didn't ask for this stuff, and I wish I didn't have to worry about braces or using crutches or even a wheelchair in order to get around easier! I would give ANYTHING to run like a CHEETAH instead of moving along like a slow-poke tortoise!
I also find myself crying whenever the boys in my class pinch me on the chest or say things to hurt me; I don't like having boobs, and I don't like having my period each and every month! I still find seeing blood on my pad upsetting, especially since I can't stand the sight of blood in the first place! It makes me sick to my stomach, and I HATE having to look at it! WHY did you have to have woman get things like having periods every month, and why can't men get periods?? I HATE being such a grouch; that is NOT at ALL like me, and I am wondering if I am going crazy in the head or something!
God, I wish I were still a little girl. At least when I was little (aside from being in the hospital or being sick, that is, on account of my breathing), I didn't have a lot to worry about, and I really enjoyed being a little kid and spending my time playing and just having fun! Now, I am nearing the age of 12 years, and I find myself worrying about things that no kid should ever have to worry about, like who is going to be the next president (personally, I would pick Bush; I like President Bush!), the ongoing threat of terror attacks against America and Americans, the war in Iraq and hearing about yet more soldiers or Americans dying over there for absolutely no reason at all, whether I can live my life comfortably when I am an old person, or whether I can get my medicine, or having enough money to be able to live off of when I get to BE an old person! I don't want to go to a nursing home, and I don't want other people having to take care of me! I don't like the feeling of being helpless or having other people care for me! I am my own person, and I can take care of myself; why can't most people see that even though I am disabled, I am a PERSON first, and my disability should come SECOND??
I am sorry for rambling on, God, but my mind is such a confused, jumbled mess right now, and I have so much on my mind. I am trying to get this down, but things are happening so fast, and right now I am so stressed out about things I can't see (or even THINK) straight! Besides, I am going to go because I am starting to get all teary again, and I am about to cry again!
Bye for now; I will talk to You later!
~Love, Your Child, Ronee' Le-Anne, aged 11 1/2. :( >tears<
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Dear God:
