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Paramedic Stories, Part XX: Keep Hope Alive!...(By Wendell P. Gilmarten, Paramedic/EMT) by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Rated "PG" by the Author.
A seasoned paramedic shares some of his most memorable "saves" and rescues during his career as a paramedic for the city of Nashville, Tennessee.
As a paramedic, I have seen and heard it all. Nothing quite surprises me anymore, and each day brings on a new sense of heightened drama and adventure. My job is never boring, if that is what you mean.
My name is Wendell P. Gilmarten, and I am a paramedic/EMT. I help people during their time of greatest need or assistance, and I have been known to snatch some people from the jaws of certain death while on other occasions, no matter what I try to do to help them, nothing can be done, and the person ends up dying anyway, which always leaves a bitter aftertaste in my mouth and in my psyche. Of course, death is as much a part of life as is life itself, but one never really gets "used" to it, especially if the person involved is a child or even a baby. Of course, when the person is elderly or very sick, you can come to expect them to die; but when the person is a healthy young child or even a baby, it really doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
Some of the more memorable cases I have encountered include a little girl who had a stroke on her eighth birthday (she lived; but she still has some residual effects from the stroke nearly four years later), a little boy (the little girl's brother, in fact) who had status epilepticus (prolonged seizures with no "break" in between; if nothing is done, the person can end up being paralyzed or brain damaged, or worse), a woman suffering from the symptoms of "flesh-eating disease" (medically known as "necrotizing fasciitis", or NecFac), a little boy who was stabbed in the chest with an arrow that had been shot by his father (he survived; he was then six), a little girl (also then six) who had been shot in the face (she now has facial deformity and faces years of facial reconstruction surgery), and more recently a woman suffering from what appeared to be tetanus. (The woman is still in the hospital, fighting for her life; it is still unclear as to whether she will even survive).
Of course, as a paramedic, I have seen and handled it all: major car wrecks that tie up traffic for hours, four- or five- alarm fires that threaten surrounding structures, kids (or animals) stuck in trees or other tight spots, people wigging out due to drug or alcohol overdoses or psychotic episodes, tiny kids who looked more dead than alive from when we pulled them out of the water and not knowing if we could do anything to get them breathing again, elderly people suffering from stroke or heart (or lung) failure, babies who were found in their cribs not breathing, children who were beaten senselessly by their family members "for crying too much" or "making too much noise", teens who were found hanging from a tree, a sheet or rope tied around their young necks "because they just couldn't take it anymore" and they wanted a way out, or people who were hurt because of some unfortunate fluke or because they tried something they were incapable of doing in the first place.
Some of the cases I have handled have been rather amusing or even funny to the point of laughter, but more often than not, a lot of the cases I have experienced have been heartrending or tragic; and even now I still have nightmares because of things I have seen or witnessed. Even now I can't handle the smell of smoke because it brings back memories of smelling burnt flesh or seeing people's bodies burnt to a crisp, and I can't handle the sight (or smell) of pumpkins because a little kid got badly burned when he accidentally knocked over a jack-o-lantern, and he was burned when the candle inside the pumpkin ignited his clothing, and as a result, he was severely burned over half of his body. (He later died in the hospital. He couldn't have been more than three years old at the most.) I also can't handle kids who face life-threatening illnesses or disability because I am always afraid that they are going to die on me, and I also can't handle kids who were once healthy (but by some unfortunate accident or illness, they are left forever disabled in one way or another). I can't bear to see their young faces or see their wheelchairs and shit because I remember the kids how they were prior to their getting sick or injured, and now they are a shell of their former selves; and it is just too much for me to bear right now.
I have seen too much tragedy or death as a paramedic, and I have lost buddies to fires or other assorted accidents; and I just don't trust God or people anymore. I have had too much bad stuff happen to me; yet, I feel compelled to help people, and so I do this job. I try to do the best job I possibly can, but a guy can only do so much, and it doesn't take much to get me stressed or upset in some way. I am not responsible for what I may do in the future; but for now, I just put my feelings aside and go through the motions as I do my job. Still, I do enjoy my job; but at times, I wonder if this is what I was destined to do in life, and I wonder if life has anything better in store for me.
paramedics go through hell daily, and wonder if their efforts are really worth it, especially considering that many are cursed, spit upon, threatened with their lives, and put their own health at risk. is it worth it to save a life? YES.
powerful write--well done!
(((HUGS))) and love, karla. :)
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd
10/30/2004
911 brought everything to a head that day when those toweres collapsed. My own husband wondered about a man he saved years ago that was paralyzed and if he would hate him for bringing him back. No he did not get up and miracously walk but we saw him two years ago. The man yes has to have help and is still paralyzed but he is productive and he made a lemon pie out of lemons. I don't know what the answer is but I do know this as long as there are people out there that are still willing to try there is hope. I might also say that my husband was blown out of a house fire. There is always a reason. Always.
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