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Emergency Room Diaries #7: You Never Get Used To It...(By Remie Shae Elwicher, R.N.) *Warning: Sensitive Subject Matter* by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Wednesday, November 3, 2004
Rated "PG" by the Author.
A nurse in the E.R. writes about an abused child she cared for.
I don't know why people are so mean, especially when it comes to caring (or not caring) for their kids. I have seen (and heard) far too many horror stories involving kids; and some of what I have seen and heard would curl your hair.
Such as the little boy I took care of late last year, around Christmas. This little fellow was brought by ambulance to our E.R., and the little one was unconscious and barely alive. He was breathing erratically (he was being assisted with his breathing by paramedics), and his color was poor. When we cut off his clothes, we were shocked to see that his tiny body was criscrossed with scars and burn marks. It was soon apparent that the little guy had been abused; and it broke all of our hearts.
We were stunned at the sight of his broken, scarred up body, and when we talked to his mother, a dirty, unkempt woman in her 20's, just a young thing, she said that he was falling down all the time, and that he was the clumbsiest little shit that she had ever seen. She said that he fell out of bed and knocked himself out. That may have been true , but what made us think that she may have struck him was the fresh blood that was shining through his hair, and the wound looked like it had appeared only an hour or so ago: it was rather fresh in appearance. It looked like that if she did strike her son, she used something hard, like a blunt object or something. We started asking her questions about her son, and during the medical history interview, she started getting defensive; and she kept saying, "Why are you accusing me? I wouldn't think of doing something so horrible to my son!" But she seemed to be acting suspicious, so I had Louisiana call for the Child Protective League, and also the police. We just didn't buy the woman's story, and this was why we took action.
With the way kids are abused nowadays, you can't be too careful. All too often you hear of kids being left behind, neglected, or abused (sexually, physically, emotionally, or mentally), and these kids are often left scarred for life. Some also get damage to their young bodies, and because of the negligence or anger of their parents, their lives are forever changed, and they will have to learn to live with the pain and scars throughout the rest of their lives. Those kids who die are said to be the lucky ones because as sad or shocking as their deaths may be, they at least get to escape the horror of abuse that was a part of their lives; and they no longer have to worry about being beaten senseless or violated sexually by a sick predator or even their own family members.
Anyway, the woman was taken to jail by the police after we had told her what had happened; unfortunately, this wasn't the first time the police had to deal with this woman. They had to deal with her before because she had hit her son, and at times, she left him on his own for hours at a time. The little boy was six (but looked no more than three), and he was badly undernourished and was in pitiful shape. His teeth were rotting out of his mouth, his hair was thin and sparse, and he was thin, almost to the point of looking cachexic. We thought at first he may have had AIDS, but then we saw the scars and burn marks, and right off, that tipped us off that the little boy had been physically (and possibly mentally or even sexually) abused.
Unfortunately, despite our best efforts to try to save him, the little boy slipped into a coma; and he never woke up again. He was in a coma for a week, and a week later, he died when we discontinued life support (at the insistance of his grandparents). Therefore, as a result of the boy's death, the mother was formally charged with his murder, and she now sits in jail, where she is awaiting trial. It really put a huge damper on our Christmas celebration; and it just goes to show you that even during the holidays, bad things happen, and nobody is immune to the tragedy that is abuse. I wish I could say that I shrugged it off and went on, but every time I see an abuse case come in, my mind goes back to that little nameless boy who had been savagely beaten by his mother (and possibly other adult or older family members), and no matter what we did, he died, a broken, battered child that had not even begun to live out his life yet.
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Reviewed by Simon Thurlow
11/6/2004
Sadly true to life tale, well written as always Karen
This tears the heart apart , and makes me so angry too, that children must suffer such abuse! Why do they have them if they don't want them, or if they can't handle it put them up for adoption, why abuse, it's a flaw in their psyche and they need to be kept under observation until they are cured.Excellent write Karen!
so sad! I saw several children like this when I was in the hospital a couple years ago.
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd
11/3/2004
That poor baby and I have seen a few too many myself. The first was in nursing school a two week old baby. There is a shelter near here for abused kids and women. This is something we need to work on together. Thanks for the write.
too many children are undergoing abuse at the hands of "loving" parents or child care providers...this madness needs to end. thank you for writing a provocative, heartwrending call to action. BRAVA!
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I don't know why people are so mean, especially when it comes to caring (or not caring) for their kids. I have seen (and heard) far too many horror stories involving kids; and some of what I have seen and heard would curl your hair.
