Dear Moonshadow, He’s been gone three years now and, as the winters passed, the pain subsided; how glad I’ve been for that. Although it took interminable exchanges of sun and moon, he’s been long dismissed from that most tender portion of my heart. Still, his schizophrenia continues to invade my reality, creating turmoil. Because of today’s events, I am reminded that his demented world is so very different from mine. My heart cries for him but, these days, my tears are not for lost love. Today, the ache in my heart is that of sadness and of compassion; I sincerely wish it could be different for him. In his world, he is the one who has been slighted. His reality is that of those who plot and plan against him; those who worship things that make him shudder – those that make him withdrawal further into his self-created world, his personal safe haven. I would help him if I could. I’ve tried. But he believes me to be the Anti-Christ. There is no poem to be written; words are inadequate to describe the purgatory in which he must live. A life of nonsensical plans, half-baked; a mind swarming with grandiose dreams – not one realized. More than anything, I suspect his is a world of fear and confusion. When I severed ties, I seriously believed I might not recover. Looking over my shoulder now, I admittedly grew from the pain. I’ve learned patience and tolerance and, although it took me many months to realize, I found that I was the keeper of amazing internal strength. Today, I sincerely pray that I’ll never experience pain as devastating again. And, for the lessons learned, I’ll be forever grateful. Beyond that, the only thing of which I’m certain, is that lost somewhere in the midst of that heaping pile of fragmented dreams, this rosebud was lying dormant, just waiting to bloom. I wish him peace in his mind, Tami Copyright © 2004 Tami C Ryan