work in progress...wanted to share what I have though :) prolog part1
Jessymyn sat cornered in her room, fearing the coming of the night. Watching in misery as the minutes ticked by, she wondered if this night might be the one that they actually found her; the ones that whispered to her in the dark. They'd been hunting her for years, every night taunting, coming closer. Whispering. Always whispering, sending that cold chill running down her spine as she sat in paralyzed anticipation in the dark.
Once or twice, they'd come close to that final embrace; the culmination of their ceaseless efforts. But her blade had dispelled them quickly. She glanced down at the six-inch hunting knife clutched in her fingers. The steel still had some rust-colored blood clinging to it from the last time they had caught up to her. Jessymyn had no idea where it had come from, she only knew that it made her feel marginally safer as the darkness set in.
The shadows lengthened in the room, swallowing all with in their mysterious confines. Jessymyn's breathing shallowed, barely audible in the silence. Fear seemed to devour her as she waited for the inevitable voices that would soon penetrate the darkness. Anticipation sent her heart into a brisk staccato. She gathered the blade a little closer to herself and shrank even further into the corner.
An ominous slide of feet on the wooden floor caused Jessymyn's breath to sieze in her chest. The fear formed a fist in her stomach as the slide came closer and closer; then the whispers began.
"Jessy," a harsh voice called in the gravelly whisper she knew so well. "We're here, my sweet." Tap, tap. "Why not come out? You know there is no hiding."
Jessymyn closed her eyes in silent prayer. "Don't let them find me. Don't let them find me." The litany repeated over and over. She began to shake from the restraint it took not to cry out. Panic brought a cold sheen of sweat to her brow. And the whispers kept on.
"Yes, Jessy," a softer, feminine whisper came. "We so tire of this game. We've been playing for so long. You know you can't win. We always win."
The footsteps echoed through her house, drawing ever closer. The methodical tap-tap-tap of shoes on the wood was slowly driving Jessymyn mad. Why did they come every night? When had this all started? It seemed she couldn't remember a time when something wasn't pursuing her in the dark. Those whispers had always been there along with that tap-tap-tap of the shoes. Her breathing quickened; the steps had stopped outside the door.
"Ahhh," the gravelly voice whispered maliciously. "I can smell your fear, Jessy." The handle shook, door rapped against its frame. The sadistic chuckle that followed washed over Jessymyn like ice.
More foot steps echoed outside her door; more whispered voices slithered over the cold floor to where Jessymyn crouched in the corner. The fear knotted tighter, drawing a gasp from her clenched throat. "The window," she thought. "I'll climb out the window." She stood, tucking her knife into her belt, and crept to the window where filtered moonlight shone through the curtain. The latch stuck when she tried to open it, a cry of frustration escaping her.
The door shook again, with more force as Jessymyn's persuers tried to get to her. She fought against the latch, moving it back and forth, getting it closer and closer to releasing the window. The door was hit with such force that pieces splintered and flew across the room. She screamed, working frantically at the latch.
Finally, it gave way and slid open. Fumbling, Jessymyn threw open the window as the next blow to the door set it free of it's frame. Footsteps rushing into the room behind her, she dove out the window to land in the darkness of the streets below.
Danielle, you have an excellent start! I want to read more. You gave me goose bumps. I knew you had the "right stuff";-) Go to it Girl!
Looking forward to next segment!
Love, Eileen
Reviewed by Kate Clifford
1/21/2005
Great beginning to a good horrr/mystery write. This beginning leaves questions with the reader, who is she? who are they? What happens if they catch her? What will happen after she gets out the window and then the reader has to read more to find out :-) One suggestion if you are thinking of publishing this one is to check for your spelling errors.
