I am having a bad day today. Oh, church was fine; it's just everything else that has me stressed.
Maman is going into the hospital very early Tuesday morning, and she will be having her surgery early the next day (Wednesday morning); and I am scared. I know I should put my fears about maman's surgery at the Foot of the Cross, but I can't help it. The surgery maman is having is very serious, and if something goes wrong, she could very well end up permanently paralyzed, and I just can't handle that possibility right now. I also go to Hollywood on the same day maman has her surgery, and to tell you the truth, I am petrified. What if I mees up on national television, and what if the judges (or the audience) don't like me? I am beginning to wonder if this is all a big mistake; I wish maman could go with me instead of daddy, but she can't because she is having surgery that day.
I also found out that my friend, Marvella Johnson, is still not doing very well; and there is the possibility that if she doesn't show any improvement by next week, the doctors just may pull the plug on her, and she will die. She had a massive stroke about a month ago (it will be a month ago tomorrow), and she has been in a coma ever since. She has severe brain damage, and she isn't responding well at all. The doctors had to put a intercranial monitoring device, to measure the presssure inside her brain (her brain started swelling, and she started having seizures; this is why they had to put the thing into her brain, so they could monitor it on a continual basis), and she is hanging on by a thread..and the thread is starting to unravel.
It seems that I have been on the verge of tears all day, and I feel so bad I can't help it. I am worried about maman, and I am worried about my friend, and I am also worried about my upcoming appearance on "America's Most Talented Kids".
I haven't been fighting with Johnny, but I found out that he is going to Alaska, along with Barbara, and that has me pretty bummed out, too. I wish I could go to Alaska, but Johnny was the one who was invited by Sikik Eegeesiak, NOT me, and so I have to stay home. Johnny, as you can very well imagine, is beyond excited about his upcoming trip to Alaska, and I can't say that I really blame him! I am happy for him, but at the same time, I am a little jealous of him.
I haven't been sleeping well the last several nights, and I have been depressed; this is not at all like me, and I wonder if I am going crazy!
I will write more later, but I just had to let you know what was going on with me. I will catch you on the flipside; if I am feeling better, maybe I will write from Hollywood, just to let you know how my trip is going. Until later, this is Ronee' saying "'Bye!"
~Luv, your friend, Ronee' Le-Anne Reaux, aged 12 (Scared to death, I am!!). :(
A page-turning novel about a relationship between best friends that is interrupted because of betrayal , deceit, sexual promiscuity and pregnancy happens!
Sunday, February 20, 2005, 4:25 p.m., C.S.T.~
