Friday, February 18

2 p.m.

Our downstairs has only two big rooms - the living room and the kitchen, which are partially separated by a brick fireplace built in the late 1800's. The fireplace has cubby holes for baking bread, and hearths on either side, one for each room. There are rough wood shelves above the hearths, and this is where the small statue of Our Lady of Fatima stands in the living room. The fireplace itself looks as though the entire town came and built it. The side facing the narrow hallway between the two rooms is tiered, like an Astec structure of some sort. On these small steps, or tiers, I have placed candles, holy cards & pictures of Our Lord and Lady and various saints. This past Wednesday night, about a half hour before meditation and class, I briefly asked that the people who had not been to class the week before also experience the scents & fragrances.

Then I went into the kitchen for a glass of water.

In the kitchen, by the sink I inwardly heard: "What do you wish to accomplish by this?" This was almost the identical question that the angel always asked me before concerts. This time I did not see the angel, I only heard his question. I answered in the usual way: "I wish to inspire people and bring them closer to God."

Then I went back into the livingroom & knelt on the hardwood floor before Our Lady’s statue. I asked that She help me to write the Mystic’s Journal. I immediately fell into a deep meditation. As at other times when I meditate, I inwardly saw and felt two angels, one on either side of me. The thought then came into my mind that they were holding me up, so that I could comfortably pray on my knees. Let me explain. Many years ago, I was kneeling before Our Lady’s statue at the Church. The steps before Her statue there are carpeted, unlike my living room floor. However, my knees have never been strong, and I was very uncomfortable kneeling there. I was so uncomfortable that it was interfering with my meditation. I inwardly asked Our Lady that I be able to pray on my knees without pain and for a long period of time. My prayer was immediately granted. Since then, I can almost endlessly pray while on my knees, in deep meditation, and I have always felt a loving and Healing Presence surrounding me.

Until the other night, I never thought much about this.

But when I inwardly saw & felt the angels by my side, I realized that most likely God had given me angels that day in the Church, so that I could easily pray on my knees. This thought touches me deeply. I am overwhelmed by gratitude and wonder for the Love and Mercy that God has for us undeserving earthly creatures. I certainly am one of the most undeserving & ungrateful creatures - I take so many supernatural favors for granted. So now when I pray, I will certainly thank the angels for holding me up!

After this recognition, I fell into an even deeper meditation. As I again asked Our Lady for help with writing this Mystic’s Journal, I clairvoyantly saw sheets of paper or a small book, entirely made of brilliant Light inwardly appear. They appeared in a portion of my mind that I had not yet, to my knowledge, explored, & I wondered at this. Then, as I watched, the sheets of paper or book made entirely of Light descended into my spiritual Heart and rested there until the end of the meditation. This experience, in earth time, was only about fifteen minutes long.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

3 pm At the tv studio last night - I am still trying to learn the digital machines. Outside, lightly snowing, a light veil against the night; a thin patina of snow everywhere. The world looked like a Christmas card ...

Tonight is meditation class, we are still reading the Desert Fathers and I am wondering what will happen this week, if the mysterious fragrances will reappear. I have chosen quotes by Symeon & Thalassios. And one by Maximus. I have already had fleeting whiffs of the fruit-like scent, very faint.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

11:30 a.m. A cold, sunny day. No new snow, although a storm is predicted. I am thinking about last night. I again noticed the fruit-like scent and a mild incense during meditation. Whiffs here and there. During class everyone smelled either the fruit-like scent or the mild incense. We agreed that it was fainter than in the past. And the scents were different, even the incense fragrance was milder and a bit sweeter than last week. S. said he smelled grapes. I went upstairs after class, to speak with N., but M. said the fragrances were very strong as the meditators left. On reflection, we are beginning to see a slight pattern. As people arrive and as they leave the scent seems very powerful - but the meditators themselves are not aware of the fragrances except during class. It is almost as though the meditators are being accompanied by the fragrances, both coming to and leaving meditation and class each week. In addition, the scents seem to change depending on which Desert Fathers we read in class. The very pungent scent of roses & myrrh, that is generally associated with Our Lady, has not returned. It was only that first class.

The reason for these mysterious fragrances are baffling, yet already we are becoming used to them. The first quote we read last night, by Maximus, was on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, and was on 1 Cor 12:11. In that quote Maximus wrote that the gifts were given to us according to the measure of our faith and receptivity and were a special gift of grace.

I also noticed that as I began to meditate last night, my sinuses completely cleared. Generally, my sinuses are blocked (as they are now) and I have a terrible sense of smell. I was meant to notice this healing, I think, so that I would know that the fragrances are "physical" and not just mental.