Fairies in Winter: A Composer’s Journal: Entries April 1- 5, 2005
Friday, April 1
Worked in the garden for hours again today, raking leaves. The head cold is completely gone, but the other illness remains. Have not written a note of music.
Dinner with Bob. We discussed grants & other strategies. He also brought me a freshly printed copy of the score of the string quintet to submit for a grant application due in June. To perform the St. Michael cycle for his string octet & choir is far beyond our budget. We would need a grant, possibly more than one grant to pay all the performers. Bob mentioned that we might have to use a small choir, with only a few voices per part. A very practical idea, but that strategy might ruin my piece. Although, otherwise I might never hear the cycle. Once recorded with a few voices, larger choirs might then wish to perform it. Often, as a musician - I wish that I lived in Europe.
Philosophically, it is nice to consider oneself & one’s work a beacon, a lighthouse - to live it can be a different matter. To be a composer in America, or a stringed instrument maker, or an artist of any sort - is not the most supported line of work. What has always astonished me is that when Americans go to other countries, they immediately head for the museums & concert halls. I remind myself of the life of Mozart & find some comfort.
Saturday, April 2
I am again touched by the comments from my new Author’s Den friends. I am also fairly astonished at how many new readers make it through to the end of all I have posted here at Buzzle each day: between A Mystic’s Journal & A Composer’s Journal, there are now sixty entries! Either people are making a nice day of it - or they are printing them up to read later. I also notice that most people are still reading them backwards in chronology. (It’s a good thing that I’m not writing mystery stories ...)
Tuesday, April 5
Still feeling too sick to write music. A warm, sunny day -clumps of crocuses are everywhere, small iris, the daffodils are almost ready to bloom ... I raked for a few hours, & I think I finally might be done with this spring chore. JF came by & we finished editing the meditation interview. Afterwards, a bit more raking & then I was ready to come back inside & rest. As I passed Fairy Hollow, I saw something colorful hanging from a branch of the old climbing rose & went to examine it. It was a small container hanging near the cloth hammock I had made for the fairies last summer. They had gotten a bit tangled together, & as I worked to separate them I noticed that the small container had a note tied to it which said: "Please read me." It was the round, small, plastic container that film comes in, with bright flowers painted on it, in tempera paint. Someone had made two holes in the lid & affixed it all to the rose branch with thin, purple ribbon. I opened the lid & looked inside. Three scrolls were rolled up inside, & I took one out & carefully unrolled it. Another flowered tempera painting adorned the top of the scroll, & the message was in pencil, in a child’s hand. It said: "Dear fairies, We walked by to visit you today and noticed that you were not here. Where do you go in the winter? We would love to communicate with you. Do you have a mailbox? Hope you are warm, Your friends at the Fall Creek Elementary School. P.S. write back soon ". A much smaller scroll, still slightly damp from our recent rains said: "Dear fairies, please make a mailbox." The last, written on a backdrop of blues said: "Do you hibernate?(with the "a" written backwards) love Adele".
After reading all the messages, I brought them inside the house & have them here by me on my little wooden table. As I wrote this all down on paper, I started hearing a fairy dance in my head, for flute & harp. It’s very happy & very transparent ...
