Louisiana writes to her oldest daughter, Lightning, who lives in Colorado and is currently having some problems in her life; she tries her best to offer her some support and comfort.
Saturday, May 7, 2005, 12: 45 p.m., C.S.T.~
Dear Lightning~
I was so happy to hear from you at last; I have been wondering why you haven't called or written...I was so worried about you, but I am relieved that you are okay! Thank you so much for taking the time to write!
Lightning, if you are having problems, why didn't you just say so by calling me or writing instead of trying to deal with them on your own? I am your MOTHER, for God's sake, and I am NOT going to get mad if you are having problems! You know you can be honest with me, and you know that I can offer you any advice or encouragement!
I am sorry you are having problems with dealing with Jamee and her health problems; that is only natural, but you need to be strong for her, and you need to be there for her, no matter WHAT she is facing! She needs you more than ever right now, and you need to be there for her! She is probably scared, and you need to be strong for her! As for the boys, you need to be there for them, as well, and let them know that they are loved too. As for your talking about being a failure, you are anything BUT. You are a great mom, and you take exceptional care of the kids, even in light of your OWN physical challenges! Whoever told you that you were a failure as a mother?? I want you to get that silly notion out of your head RIGHT NOW!
Honey, I don't want you to hear of you wanting to harm your daughter (or yourself); what you wrote in your letter absolutely terrified me, and that isn't at ALL like you! What is REALLY going on, and WHY are you having such thoughts? I wish you wouldn't beat yourself down like this; it's not natural! You are a wonderful parent, and you have a husband who loves you for YOU, and you have five beautiful children who adore and look up to you! WHY are you talking about suicide or harming Jamee? That is crazy talk, and you need to talk to someone BESIDES your husband or your neighbors if you are having doubts as a mother! What you are describing sounds like postpartum depression, and it sounds like you need help or a break from the kids! There ARE treatment options available, and there ARE ways to where you can get a much needed respite from the kids! Please don't talk of harming yourself; that isn't going to accomplish anything, and you will only end up hurting the ones you love!
And honey, Jamee is NOT going to end up like Johnny, as you put it in your letter. Limb-girdle muscular dystrophy is NOTHING like Duchenne's, which is what Johnny has, and while she may become further disabled down the road, the life expectancy for limb-girdle MD is much brighter than what your brother has! And who knows? Maybe in a few short years the cure will finally be found, and soon, Jamee can return to her former active self again; one can only hope and pray! There are so many breakthroughs now in medical research, and the future for people with MD is brighter and more promising than ever! Maybe Jamee will be able to run and walk WITHOUT crutches or braces on her legs; please don't give up hope just yet! As for your brother, he has already outlived doctors' predictions by SEVEN years, and he is still pluggin' away! He is about as determined of a child as they come, and he is bound and determined to live his life while he still can and live it to its fullest potential! So while his future still does remain cloudy, Johnny is nothing short of a Miracle because he has already surpassed doctors' predictions, and he is still going strong at the age of twelve!
PLEASE get the help you need; don't put it off another day! I will put you on our prayer chain at Christ Community Assembly of God and have our prayer warriors lift you up in prayer! Please look to God to help you; you know He will NEVER leave you, no matter WHAT you are facing in life, and you NEED to remember (and believe) that! And please listen to me and what I am saying; you mean so much to me, and if there is anything you need, know that I am there for you! I am your MOTHER! And I love you so very much!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your (brokenhearted) mother, Louisiana. :( >tears<
DAMN you, Lightning, now you have ME bawling!!
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Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very
5/9/2005
Karen
You really captured the "Mother's Love and scorn"
Thanks so much. This almost sounds like My mom talking to me.
Tracey
Reviewed by Betty Torain
5/8/2005
This is a real story is'nt it? I feel so many emotions reading it. You are some writer! Thank you. From the mother of the Universe.
A poignant story about letting go of a narcissist in your life. Have you ever been attacked FULL force by a narcissist? It's the closest thing to being stabbed over and over in the back.
Saturday, May 7, 2005, 12: 45 p.m., C.S.T.~
