Louie tries to offer some encouragement and advice to yet another frustrated parent who is new at the adoption game.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005, 4:02 p.m., C.S.T.~
Dear Adriadne Michelle~
What a pleasure it was to get your letter today; thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. But I sense that you are stressed out (never mind the picture of the stressed-out kitty on your letter; that was too cute! LOL); I can see why you are having so many problems.
But I am not a psychiatrist. I AM in the medical field (I am a charge nurse at a large metropolitan hospital here in Nashville, Tennessee, where I live with my husband and my children), but I am no licensed psychiatrist. All I CAN do is try to give you some support and some advice, and also lift you up in prayer. I am a Christian, and I am now serving the Lord in the best way I know how. My husband and I have been married for nearly 14 years now (it will be 14 years next month, on the 26th), and we have adopted fifty-two Miracle Children. So we are very experienced when it comes to adopting!
Our children range in age from five on up to 23, and all but the oldest girls live here with us. I have a daughter who is married and is living in Colorado with her husband and their five kids, and I have another daughter who is attending college in Louisiana, at the University of Louisiana-Lafayette. I also have two more daughters who live out of the house, but they live close by, in an apartment complex for people with disabilities. But the other children are home with Bill and myself, and we have our hands full.
Our children come from all over the world: the United States of America, Canada, Latin and Central America (Mexico and Guatemala), Europe, Asia, Africa...and they are all colors, ages, sizes, and shapes. They are a very loving group, and we have grown to love each and every one of them unconditionally, and it's now gotten to the point to where we can't imagine our family without any of the children that we have adopted!
Our children are also disabled (well, a good lot of them are); and they have all sorts of disabilities: juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, varying degrees of cerebral palsy, mental retardation, vision problems, hearing problems, learning disabilities, missing limbs, respiratory problems, heart problems, diabetes, epilepsy, neuromuscular disorders (muscular dystrophy, Duchenne's), spina bifida, cystic fibrosis, and Tourette's syndrome, to name some of the disabilities that they face. But they have triumphed over their disabilities, and they are very active in the community. They are very involved with after-school activities, and during the summer, they sing and perform as part of a family band. Our kids have flourished under our guidance, and they are very active in their church. They have faced many great odds in their lives, but they have since overcome these odds, and they are continuing to blossom even now; and it is amazing to see just how far they have come!
I have shared our story in two books, "A Family Made Out Of Rainbows and Miracles: The Sandusky Family Story--A True Story of Love And International Adoption" and its sequel, "The Miracles Continue", which has just come out (I have also done a book about nursing prior to this book), and so far the response to our story has been positive. I have been busy going to book signings at local booksellers, and I also have spoken at several churches and adoption meetings about our family and how the process of international adoption works. In addition, I also help other families get started, so my life, as you can see, is very full--but I wouldn't trade it all for a million dollars. God is using me as a witness to the Christian faith and to the adoption experience, and I would consider myself to be very blessed indeed! :)
But enough about me. Back to your letter...
Ariadne, the best thing to do is if you are having problems, don't be afraid to ask for help. I am sure you have neighbors who would be willing to watch over Brittyn and Ryan if you are having anxiety attacks, and I am sure that you can find a job. If not, you can always go back to college if you are interested. Or you can look for an adoption support network, such as the one I am in. I am in several different adoption communities, and I enjoy the company and comraderie that we share. You also can check out several magazines about adoption (Adoptive Familes, Adopted Child, or The Spirit of Adoption, as several examples, the best being Adoptive Families), and in them you will find invaluable articles pertaining to all the facets on adoption and the latest issues facing adoptive parents--and children. You also can talk to your doctor if you are having emotional issues, or even your clergyman, or just a friend who cares. Honey, you don't have to suffer in silence; there is help out there, and the best course of action is to try to find that help before you snap!
Are your children disabled in any way? If so, there are churches who have "respites" for parents of special needs children several nights a week (we do this ourselves), and we also try to teach our kids that the world isn't a nice place for people who are disabled, but if they know that they can make it, chances are, they WILL. Our kids HAVE made it, I am happy to say, and they enjoy everything that life has to offer, especially since the bad times in their past are now history!
If your kids are NOT disabled, there is also help for them. You can get them involved in special "Mommy-and-me" classes, where both parents and child are benefiting, and you can get them involved in English lessons or any activity like dancing, music, or swimming, if that is of any interest to you. Your kids would benefit from meeting other kids, and they should learn to speak English at a faster rate, and they would learn socialization skills in the process. So they would benefit very well instead of keeping them home. Maybe they are acting out because they are bored; it's worth a shot! Let me know what you think!
Well, Adriadne, I will let you go. I have to go to bed early; my husband and I are flying to Greece tomorrow, and we will be gone for a week. We will be back next Tuesday, and I will write then, after I return from Greece. (We are going to Greece for a friend's wedding.) Take care, and God bless! And know that if you ever need to talk or write, just DO it and don't be scared. I am here for you, and I will most certainly be praying for you!
(((HUGS))) and love, a new friend in Tennessee, Louisiana in Nashville. :)
A poignant story about letting go of a narcissist in your life. Have you ever been attacked FULL force by a narcissist? It's the closest thing to being stabbed over and over in the back.
Spoken Word
This CD will touch the deepest inner part of your humanness and spirit, you will never be the same after listening to the depths of struggle, the reality of life, the touching voice of truth. It will shock you, move you to tears. It w
Tuesday, May 10, 2005, 4:02 p.m., C.S.T.~
