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Dear Ellen: Louisiana Sandusky Responds...(To Eileen With Much Love!) by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
Louisiana is taken aback at the harsh letter from Ellen Jones in Bartlesville, Indiana, but she thanks her for taking the time in writing to her.
Monday, May 17, 2005, 5:42 p.m., C.D.T.~
Dear Ellen Jones~
Thank you so much for your taking the time to write to me. I am sorry if my book "offended" you, but not everyone is going to like what I do. I understand that, and I appreciate the honesty and openness of your words.
I am sorry you and Wayne had so much difficulty in trying to have children, and I am sorry that your adoptions fell through. I can understand the pain and heartbreak of failed adoptions because we have tried to adopt certain kids before, and after all the hard work we put in trying to get them, the kids went to other homes, or else they still remain in orphanages or hospitals; and it is always highly upsetting. In reference to your question, yes, we have had several children whom we tried to adopt, but the adoptions failed. We tried to adopt Matthew, a nine-year-old Native American boy from Arizona who was considered emotionally disturbed and feral in nature (he is in an institution now as of this writing, and there has been very little improvement in his mental status), Heidi (an 11-year-old visually-impaired girl from the Honduras; she went to a family in Washington State, and she is doing quite well for herself, according to the latest reports), Rachelle (a two-year-old girl with AIDS; she has since passed on; she died last year, not long after she left us to go into the hospital), Corey and Carey (twin nine-year-old African-American boys who both had severe asthma; they went to a family in Kansas; they are doing very well in their new environment), Dajun Matthew (a six-year-old boy from Georgia with Down's syndrome; he was with us for a while, but another family wanted him, so he went to them instead; he lives in Chattanooga, Tennessee, now), Hanh Ly (soon to be 15) and her little sister, Linn Chan (soon to be six; they were with us for a while, but they went to a family in Fort Worth, Texas; they are flourishing very well in their new family), and Addis (a six-year-old charmer from Egypt who was born without arms OR legs; he is still in an institution, as there is much difficulty in placing a child with such a severe physical handicap). So yes, as you can see, we have had adoptions that failed; and I still cry or grieve for those children we tried to get (but, for one reason or another, couldn't). I still think of them even now, and I wonder how they are doing.
But our children are NOT "tragic" as you put it in your letter. My children are Miracles, and they are as capable of living a normal life (or as normally as their disabilities will allow), and we are not going to hide our kids, nor are we going to "exploit them", as you put it. My kids are all musically inclined (well, the MAJORITY of them are!), and they were the ones who decided to perform; it was NOT of our decision. We just only encouraged their musical talents, and we were more than happy to help them grow and learn. This is such a positive way for them to relate to people, and in the process, it helps them feel good about themselves, to know that they can do something well, and make other people happy in the process. So this is why they perform every summer; and they happen to get a big kick out of it.
HOW do we manage four dozen plus kids? By the sheer grace of God is how. Now, you may not believe in God, but He is as real as I am, and He has been instrumental in building the family that I now have today. He somehow provides when we most need it, and we have never had to worry about money or getting clothes or school supplies for the kids because we have had friends and family help us whenever we were in a financial need, and we try to make time for the kids whenever Bill or myself are NOT working. Our kids are very important to us, and we will spend as much time with them as humanly possible, and our kids have benefitted from our being there when they needed us the most. Sure, time is often severely constrained, but it is our life, and if our kids need us, then by God, we WILL be there for them in any way possible!
Now to the question that most people don't hesitate on asking upon meeting me or my family; and Lord knows, you certainly are NOT the first to ask that question, that perverbial question of "What were you THINKING when you and Bill took in so many kids?" DON'T ask me. I don't know the answer! LOL God saw to it that we desperately wanted to have a family after our three natural children died (two died while they were still tiny infants; the third child died on what would have been his fourth birthday), so He brought the children that we are now raising today into our lives; and He has blessed us yet again earlier this year with the additions of Rani Kalpana and Arjun Ravi from Sri Lanka, and they have since fit in beautifully and are enjoying their new home in America. We didn't plan on adopting Arjun or Rani, but when I first saw them in Sri Lanka,helping out with the tsunami victims over there, I couldn't help myself. I immediately fell in love with them both, and I knew in my heart back then that they belonged to us; so this was how we ended up with two more children on top of the fifty that we had already adopted! Call us crazy, but God DOES work in mysterious ways, and He certainly surprised us THAT time! LOL
I am sorry if my "religion" offends you, but I have always been a Christian. It's how I was raised; and I am sorry, but I happen to believe in God, and nobody is going to try to sway me from that. I married a Pentecostal "Holy Roller" who is very big on church, and he showed me how it is to live a "Godly life", and I knew something was missing from my life, so I accepted Christ into my life, and my children have since followed; and now Christ is very important in all our lives. I will try not to "preach" to you, but if I feel like I have to say something about Christ in a future letter, please don't get angry. I can't help my "Christianness", and I feel that since God has been so good to me and my family, then I should be able to share my faith with others! I hope you understand!
I also am sorry if my books were too "syrupy sweet" for you to take; but I "write as I see things", and God was the Driving Force behind my words. I only wrote what He told me to write; the words are God's, and God's alone; I just did as He asked, and there you have it: two books. At first, I thought there would be only one book about my family, but then Ravi and Arjun came from Sri Lanka, so I knew that the story was not finished. And it may not be; you may never know. I know I am crazy to most people, but God is why I have the children; it is NOTHING of my doing! Raising our kids is our ministry, and we are helping other couples who are interested in adopting children with special needs, and our adoption community is doing a booming business at the present time!
Why did we take in "tragic" kids instead of kids who are healthy? Because there are so many kids with special needs who are badly in need of a home or a loving family, and nobody wants to give them a chance. There are also those kids who are part of a "sibling group" who, for some reason, can't be separated, are older than the age of two years, or kids who are multicultural or more than one race; these kids are also considered to be kids with special needs; and these kids are also left unwanted and unloved. We wanted to give kids with bleak futures or no hope a chance to succeed in life, and this is why we adopted kids with severe disabilities or illnesses. They now have a brighter (and happier) future, and they have flourished like flowers after a good, soaking rain; and they are growing into beautiful young men and women!
There you go, Ellen. I hope some of these questions have been answered. I appreciate your taking the time to write to me and tell me how you feel about families such as mine, and also that you "weren't impressed" with my books. That is okay; I can live with that. I can't please all people all of the time; I am bound to raise more than a few eyebrows with my family, and I am bound to raise questions; and unless you ask, you may never know about families such as mine. But we ARE out there, and like it or not, we are more numerous than you may think!
Have a nice day, Ellen, and blessings to you and to Wayne! Hopefully you can think about what I have written in this letter, and hopefully we can write to each other again. I would love to get to know you better!
Most sincerely,
Your new friend (?), Louisiana Sandusky in Tennessee. :)
Karen you did better than I expected! Not only did you show her how God moves in peoples lives to do His will, but you did it with kindness and with a full explanation that leaves no room for doubt or confusion! Superb write! Thanks for the dedication;-)
An excellent response, I wouldn't have been as nice as Louisiana. I would have told the old bat (Ellen) to butt out LOL if she didn't like the first book, why'd she read the second???? LOL GRRRRRRRRRR I know, I'm mean...LOL
Seriously: I'm glad there are loving people like Louie and those here at AD who DO appreciate fine works--like your stories. :)
Suspenseful and close to home, Rain of Deception 2 will leave you in Tears. Much like Part 1, this will shocking sequel will keep you on the edge of your fingertips.
A poignant story about letting go of a narcissist in your life. Have you ever been attacked FULL force by a narcissist? It's the closest thing to being stabbed over and over in the back.
Monday, May 17, 2005, 5:42 p.m., C.D.T.~
