I am nervous today...saw my doctor, Dr. Emmons, and he was talking to me about some of the tests I was to have in a few weeks. I have had some of them before, but I have never had a EMG (or whatever you call it; but I hear it is painful, and I am sorry, but I don't really do pain all that well!). Still, I don't relish the idea of lying in a tight, closed in MRI machine (I AM a bit on the claustrophobic side!), and I don't like the spinal tap; those HURT! They use a needle that's a foot long, and they jam it in there, and it's like "WEEOUCH!!" And then the dumb bunnies are telling me to lie still. Yeah, RIGHT! YOU try lying still when they ram a needle into YOUR back, and we will see about "lying still"! Boy, they are sooo dumb!!
I wish I never had this stupid muscular dystrophy. I wouldn't have to go through all this pain or torture, or this stupid fear. I am not scared of dying, mind you (I AM saved, you know; I DO know I will see Jesus when I die, and I AM looking forward to that!), but still...I am just a kid, and I have a lot of living left to do! I hate living on a day to day basis and not knowing what my body is going to do or if I am going to end up in the stupid hospital again for one thing or another! I am trying to be brave or strong, but I am just a kid, and sometimes a kid can't HELP being scared!
I also have my sister Ronee' to worry about...she is going to have hip surgery at about the same time I have my stupid tests, and I hope and pray she is going to be okay. Hip surgery is major business, and she will be out of commission for a while, and for her to be grounded is going to be akin to Chinese water torture. That kid absolutely HATES to be grounded! She is going to be going NUTZ! I won't like her being in the hospital, but I will be in too, but she'll just get to stay longer than me, at least a week or so. Me, I'll be in maybe two days, tops (unless something is going on; I hope it isn't...).
Mama is busy writing, writing, writing...she has a million email buddies she writes to, and she's involved with her adoption community and helping other people with adoption questions, mailing out information, and stuff, and it seems she is always on the go. I wish she'd learn to slow down once in a while...ever since she had her back surgery, she has been like a CHEETAH, and if she isn't careful, she's gonna' sprain a giblet or something...Daddy is...well, daddy!..., and he is busy, too, but nothing like MAMA!!
The weather has been stormy lately, but the storms have since moved on, and hopefully the Memorial Day weekend will be somewhat salvageable. Monday we have to go to the vetereans' hospital to see the vets, and there'll also be a big Memorial Day parade, and a picnic, and even special holiday music and FIREWORKS!! So it'd better NOT rain on Monday or else I'll have something to squeak about to the Weather Channel! LOL
I haven't heard from Rebekkah; hope she is okay. Or maybe I have to write her yet; will have to see...I hate it when I can't remember diddly!
I heard from my brother in NYC, Erick...he may come to see me for the July 4th holiday. That'd be cool; I really do miss him, and I don't get to see him nearly as often as I would like!
School will be over in a few weeks, will soon start having to study for finals. ICK! I hate finals; I am always so scared I'll be a flunkie while my sister the brainiac, will pass (just like she ALWAYS does; drives me INSANE!! GRRRR!!)...I guess I'll have to do some extra hard praying to God tonight....
Well, I feel a bit better now, now that I am writing about other things, but I still have my tests to look forward to (NOT!!), and now I just depressed myself again, so I am going to go now and drown my sorrows with some cookies and milk....Until later, this is Johnny saying, "Over and OUT!"
~Love, your pal, Johnny. :(
P.S.: I am trying to be brave like my little feline buddy, "Simba", but I am more of a DANDElion! I am a CHICKEN!! *BAWWWK, BAWWWK, BAWWWK!*
Spinals are terrible, Johnny, but thankfully, they are rather quick. I've had a few myself. Think of Simba while you're undergoing it, and it will be over in a flash.
*cringe* "...they use a needle that's about a foot long and they jam it in there...." Thanks, kiddo. That's a little more than I wanted to read...WEEOUCH!! Seriously: it's not that long, it's about six inches in length. They don't put the whole thing in--it would go right through *cringe* Made myself hurt on that one. Having had 11 of these babies, I speak from experience. (Not about having one go right through me LOL). 11 spinal taps.
Poor Johnny is a wreck. Everything always seems to happen to him (and to Ronee). Maybe one day they'll get better GAD I hope so!! Still, an excellent, nervous write of a child's fear.
A page-turning novel about a relationship between best friends that is interrupted because of betrayal , deceit, sexual promiscuity and pregnancy happens!
Thursday, May 26, 2005, 6:33 p.m., C.S.T.~
