Louisiana Sandusky in Tennessee writes to a woman in Wisconsin who has adopted six boys, all from China, after Tonya Givens has written to her.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005, 12:48 p.m., C.D.T.~
Dear Tonya Michelle~
Thank you for the lovely letter I received from you on Saturday; it was so nice to hear from you, and I also want to thank you for all the very nice things you said about my writing! It is comments from people such as yourself that make me enjoy writing, and I have enjoyed it emmesely! Thank you for taking the time to read my books, and thank you for saying all those nice things about my family!
But it sounds like you have YOUR hands full with Gabriel, Ethan, Trevor, Wynn, Tanner, and Brandon! MY! Six sons, and all from China! How wonderful! I bet you are enjoying your sons very much! I myself have two children from China, both girls, and both twins, but they are now ten-and-a-half, soon to be eleven. Their names are Megan and Michelle, and they are two peas in a pod: they look just alike, and they dress alike, they think alike, and they even SOUND alike when they talk! Most people can't tell them apart, but I can because Michelle has a small mole on her cheek whereas Megan doesn't. And Michelle is just a hair shorter than her twin sister, but most people don't see that unless they are close to them. They are from Shanghai. Where in China are your boys from?
And you have two children with autism (one confirmed, one possible). I DON'T envy you AT all! Autism is still a relatively misunderstood disability, but it IS out there, and many kids have it (but are often left misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all). I have a son, Roberto, who is mentally disabled (Down's syndrome) and physically disabled (cerebral palsy), but at first, when he was small (this was before I even knew of him), back in his native Mexico, doctors thought he had autism because he had a lot of "autistic-like" behaviors, and at times he still does. He rocks back and forth if agitated, and if upset or angered in any way, he goes ballistic, and it takes two people to try to deal with him and calm him down. He also bites or hits people, and he is a challenge, but when he IS calm and behaving well, he is a very sweet little guy who wouldn't harm a hair on your head, and he loves people (especially if they know him or he knows them; it takes him a while to warm up to strangers). He seems fascinated with spinning tops or water running, and he has to hold some spoons; for him, this means comfort; why, I have no clue, but the spoons do. So he may have autism; but this hasn't been ruled out; although he does have some of the behaviors most associated with the disorder. So I know how you are feeling, and you have my sympathy and support!
Now, Roberto CAN walk (with help; he uses leg braces and forearm crutches for mobility), and he CAN talk, but he is hard to understand, and he has the mind of a two-year-old child in a 12-year-old boy's body, and he will probably never live on his own. He is just too seriously disabled for him to be able to function on his own; but he is still a very lovable little boy, and we can't imagine our lives without him. We have had Roberto since he was six, and he has been a blessing to our family!
How do I keep tabs on fifty-two kids, you ask. VERY CAREFULLY. LOL It's true ! We also have a strict schedule that must be adhered to at all costs (or chaos will then ensue!), and the older kids who are able watch out over the littler kids; and each child, even the more disabled ones, has a specific chore to do, and every week, they alternate. We have built-in babysitters, and whenever Bill or myself go out, the older kids keep tabs on the little ones, and if there is a problem, they can always get in touch with Bill or myself without fail. We also rely on the grace of a Loving God; and He has gotten our "little" family through some unbelievable tragedy and hardship!
You also asked if we have had problems with the neighbors when it came to our adopting some of the kids. Well, the answer to that one is yes, unfortunately. Some people couldn't understand why we adopted sick or disabled kids, and they had a hard time when we adopted Johnny because he looked nothing like us, and he stuck out like a sore thumb. They also had a problem with Ronee' because she was racially mixed (Native American, African-American, Hispanic, Cajun French, and Irish), and they had a problem with our Iranian daughter, Deborah (then known as Bapsi) because of her upbringing, and also the fact that Bapsi was horribly physically disabled (born with spina bifida that left her lower half virtually useless, and was born without arms or hands; also was born with severe respiratory problems that required supplimental oxygen). They called us "supporters of terrorism" even though Deborah had no ties to terrorism whatsoever (she was just a poor, innocent child who had been born in a country where Americans are despised), and much worse, and they abused and mocked our daughter--and us. They also had a problem with our adopting black children (Keshia, Gloria, Kwame', Lightning, Dwerlina, Melizza, Tanya), and they called us "N-----Lover" (and much worse). We also have a son who was severely burned over the majority of his body when he was but an infant, and now he faces a lifetime of severe facial disfigurement and scarring, and he also has serious physical disabilities. People stare at Jo-El every day, and it is to be expected, but at times the comments directed at Jo-El still hurt the soul, and we have to do all we can to protect him from the stares or comments--or to keep our tempers under control. Such hurtful accusations stabbed our very souls, but we were determined to prove these narrow-minded people wrong, and they have since come to see that we love these "unfortunate" children that life treated so cruelly; and now they are flourishing like the little flowers that they have come to be. They have since blossomed into beautiful young men and women, and I am so proud of each and every one of my kids!
Sure, we still face bigotry and hatred whenever we go out in public, but more often than not, people have been very supportive of my family, and they think that it is a wonderful thing that we do by taking in these kids as our own. This was one reason why I wrote my books, "...And The Miracles Continue" and its predecessor, "A Family Made out of Miracles and Rainbows", so people can learn that even though we may be bigger than most and have kids of all colors and nationalities (and disabilities), we are a FAMILY first, and nothing can ever change that...EVER.
We took the kids to see "Madagascar" on Friday, and they (and we) really enjoyed it. It was a very cute family film, and the kids howled and laughed throughout the entire film. We thought for a minute we were going to be thrown out of the theatre because the kids were laughing so hard; but we were not (thank goodness!), and we all loved the movie. We would see it again, it was that good. I am glad that you had a break from your hubby and kids; I know your boys would probably get a kick out of "Madagascar" because we sure did! We also took the kids to see "Kicking and Screaming", but we weren't really that impressed with it; "Madagascar" was much better! But the kids DID behave themselves (other than laughing their heads off during the movie); so we were really proud of them all!
Well, Tonya, I thank you again for writing; I appreciated the nice comments regarding my books, and I thank you for taking the time to read them. The reason I wrote the sequel was because of the additions of our Sri Lankan miracles, Arjun and Rani, and people probably wanted to know more about our family, so I knew that a sequel was in order.
Take care, and God bless! I hope to hear from you again! Write back soon!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your new friend in Tennessee, Louisiana Mayrah Therese Sandusky. :)
P.S.: I loved the picture of the Northern Lights! Beautiful sight! :)
Unbelievable how you keep all the names straight;-) You'll soon have to make your own list;-) A beautiful letter Karen, you are amazing with your letters!
It's almost Christmas. Lynn Basil is writing her last book about a secret entrance into the magical doll land of Sha Bebe that she loves so much. Bagannos have taken over the world! Lynn finally meets her dolls in real life. Can she write in a Secret
It's almost Christmas. Lynn Basil is writing her last book about a secret entrance into the magical doll land of Sha Bebe that she loves so much. Bagannos have taken over the world! Lynn finally meets her dolls in real life. Can she write in a Secret
Tuesday, May 31, 2005, 12:48 p.m., C.D.T.~
