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An Essay: When I Realized That I Was Now A Mother...(By Louisiana Sandusky) by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Thursday, June 2, 2005
Rated "G" by the Author.
Louisiana writes down her thoughts about being a mother and what it means to be the adoptive parent to over four dozen kids, most with special needs.
Author's Note: Got this story idea after reading an article in a magazine about adoption; it was very moving and interesting. So this was where the idea for this story gelled.
I am a mother.
I am more than a mother: I am a VERY grateful mother. God has brought my husband and myself over four dozen children, children of all ages, children of all sizes, children of all nationalities and racial backgrounds, and children with various types of disability or special need, big AND small.
People always ask me when did I realize that I was now a mother. Well, that question is easy to answer: when I first saw my first adopted child, a son, Johnny, who is now twelve years old. He was just a baby then, but the memory is as vivid in my mind as it was back then when I first saw him or even heard of him.
When I first saw his picture that the orphanage sent to me and read of his background, the more I knew that he was the child we had wanted; and after we got the necessary paperwork and other preliminaries completed, Johnny was then ours; and I will never forget the first time I held his warm, lively little body in my arms. When I first saw his perfectly round head with the peach fuzz for hair and saw his perfect little face, tears blurred my vision, and something awoke in my heart. That was when I realized that I was now a mother, that I was now rsponsible for this little life in my arms, and that I was to be his provider, his caretaker, his protector. He may not have been born to me, but I felt like his mother just the same, and even after all these years later, my eyes still fill with grateful tears at the memory of when I first saw (and later held) Johnny.
Oddly enough, the same feelings occurred when I first saw or held each of my children, and somehow, it felt "right" when I first saw them or held them. It was as though God put them there, Himself, and it somehow felt "natural", even though they all came from different lands, different cultures, different races. After Johnny, Ronee' came next, a bi-racial little girl who faced an uncertain future, but we were hopeful that our love and upbringing could bring her past her serious medical problems, which it, ultimately, did. Ronee' has come a very long way since that sickly, premature infant with the uncertain future, and she is on the brink of becoming a teenager. So we went from one child to two, and soon after that, we added seven more children to our family, instantly creating a big family. We went to a family of four to a family of eleven in just a few short years, and the change was phenominal.
Yet each child assimilated themselves into our family unit, and even though there were tears, fears, and problems at first, each child soon learned to "fit in", and now they live in (near) perfect harmony and are each other's biggest advocates. They will fight to the death for one another, and they have become extremely close to one another.
After all the years that have since gone by, the familiar feeling of parenthood has never diminished. When we saw our kids step off the airplane or picked them up at the orphanage, foster home, or hospital, the same feeling of what I had experienced when I first held Johnny in my arms still remained, and it never dimmed, not for an instant. Now, after all these years later, the love I have for my (adopted) children has never diminished, and even though they may not look like my husband or myself, they are STILL our children, legally and permanently, and nothing--or anyone--can ever change that! Now we are the parents to an incredible fifty-two children, most with disabilities or special needs that test their mettle on a daily basis, but their struggles and triumphs have overshadowed the bad times in their lives, and they have since grown into sweet, loving children with compassionate spirits and a great love for their fellow man. I am proud to be their mother, and I feel that God has gone beyond and above the call of duty in bringing these special angels into our lives!
In "A Touch of Your Presence" are words that would inspire, encourage and strengthen one's soul when faced with challenges and difficulties and to know the awesomeness of God's power.
I am a mother.
